Chapter 1 When things seem to be going well
by Fleur06
Summary: This is taken after the end of season 3, and is based mainly on Kerry with TR helping her.   I always wanted Kerry to haev a love interest.  I have liked Detective Chris Finch from ep 17.
1. Chapter 1

Walking out of the office, Kerry was glad the day was over, at least Michael was stable, thank goodness as it seemed touch and go for a while there and with no help, how would she explain that to the them, especially after the incident a while ago f the shooting. James was back at rehab, hopefully safe, but testifying against them would be dangerous.

Hearing a noise in the locker/change room she goes to see who is still there, thinking she was the last one there.

IN the locker room, Stella had said goodbye, off to the hospital to see Michael, leaving Shannon and Lawson. Lawson walks up to Shannon wrapping his arms around her. Hearing the door open he pulls away from her, just in time to see Kerry walk in. Putting her head around the door "See you guys later." Lawson nods "off to the hospital" "Yeah, see you tomorrow?"

Walking out, she wonders if something is going on between them, hoping not, since Lawson knows the rules. After the day they had, she will give him the benefit of the doubt, for the time being

Walking into Michael's room, Stella goes over and sits on the bed, hitting Michael lightly on the arm "don't you scare me like that ever again"

Trying to sit up in bed, Michael moves over, to make room for Stella. Sitting on the bed, she leans into him. "Hey Stel, do you know anything about Shannon and Lawson?" "What do you mean?" Stella replies

"Do you think they are together? Michael asks, trying to figure a way to bring up what he knows. Shaking her head she doesn't want to talk about it, moving closer to him, she leans over and kisses him.

Walking down the hospital corridor, Kerry walks towards Michael's room, walking into the room she sees Stella moving quickly away from him she can guess what they were doing, thought Audrey was going out with Michael.

"See you are recovering well Michael. Just dropped in to see how you were doing. See you have Stella to keep you company so will see you later. Bye Stel" before walking out.

Walking down the corridor, she bumps into Audrey "off to see Michael also Audrey". Calling out to her "Audrey, Stella is in there with Michal too." Walking down the corridor she wonders about what she saw and also heard before entering.

Hopping in the car, Kerry drives home to the empty house. Driving along she has time to think, wondering if what she heard before she walked in was true about Shannon and Lawson, she will probably have to speak to him, she doesn't want to lose him from TR, he is a huge part of TR. What is it about the water at the base, maybe she should drink it more, Michael and Stella or is it Audrey, Leon and his infatuation with Audrey, Josh and Tash, and hopefully not Lawson and Shannon. Now that James has gone, there is a void in her life, if she didn't have TR, well she isn't going to lose that and sure isn't going to let Lawson ruin it either. At least she has been given another chance with James, even I will admit she was a crap mother, but now she has a chance to make it up and things weren't going too badly. Even with James coming home and now in rehab, there is still is a void in her life, she is driving home to an empty place and will spend the night by herself, maybe that is why I keep on drinking, that and the guilt I still feel. But going home alone is still better than being with Boyd and living in the past and apologising all the time.

Nearing her place she is brought out her deep thinking by her phone ringing "Inspector Kerry Vincent?'

"Hi Kerry its Detective Chris finch' Gripping the wheel tightly and bought back to the present "Hi Chris, is this about James?"

Not answering her question 'Are you at the base, or home?" Her heart beating faster "im nearly home, what is this about Chris?"

"I'll meet you at your place shortly?" Chris replies not giving much away before hanging up.

Putting her foot down she speeds back to her place. Driving as quickly back to her place, all thoughts go through her mind, this has to be about James, what has he done now, has he gone some where again, he should be in rehab, she is paying for him to be in rehab again.

Reaching her house, she walks up to the door, as she goes to open it, Chris walks up. Turning around "What is this about Chris, what has James done? Is he alright?"

Holding Kerry back "let my men go in first." Looking at Chris worried now she demands "Chris what is going on."

After they come out, Chris quickly speaks to them, before going inside with Kerry "There was an attempt on James life at rehab, the room he was in, someone was killed last night. James had changed rooms with this guy." Seeing the shock on Kerry's face then her anger "You were meant to look after him, I put James in your care"

"James is safe Kerry, we are taking him to a safe house but we can not get him there to morning. We think he will be safe here for the night, we will have plain clothes around all night, and if you can get some of your team here too, plain clothes."

Getting out her phone, she wonders who she should call Josh or Lawson. Dialling Lawson's number, she wonders in the back of her shocked brain if he will bring Shannon. Turning to Chris she needs to know "Where is James now, he is safe at the moment".

Chris looks at Kerry, wondering how she keeps being so strong "Yes he is, can you get some of your team here" Nodding, she dials Lawson's number and waits for him to answer.

Lying on the lounge, trying to watch a DVD with Shannon next to him, Lawson isn't taking much of the DVD in though, with Shannon lying in his arms. Hoping for the DVD to end soon, he hears his phone ring, picking it up he sees it is Kerry. Turning the volume of the TV down, Shannon looks at him partly annoyed as she was enjoying the movie "Its Kerry?" Moving out of his arms, he gets up, walking out of the room "Whats up Kerry?"

"I need you to get over to my place as quick as you can, no uniform or police cars, and park a few houses away. How quickly can you get here?" Glancing in at Shannon, he replies "10 or 15 minutes, do you want me to get anyone else to come?" "Im going to call Josh now also" before hanging up.

Walking back into his place he pauses the DVD "I have to go to Kerry's, you can stay or come?" Looking at Lawson "come with you to Kerry's your joking, what does she want you for at this time of night, or shouldn't I even ask?"

Shaking his head annoyed "I don't know but she sounded weird and upset, are you coming or not?" Looking at the TV "not" then seeing Lawson quickly getting ready and concerned, she softens but also curious "give me a few minutes and I will come, are you sure Kerry won't mind?"

"I doubt she will even notice you have 2 minutes and I'll meet you in the car?" Walking out to the car, he wonders what has happened to Kerry, James as far as he is aware is getting treated, and Kerry's life seemed okay. Waiting impatiently for Shannon he is about to blow the horns when he sees her strolling out of the house, revving the engine, he doesn't even wait for her to do up the seatbelt before tearing out of the driveway.

Arriving at Kerry's Lawson parks down the road like she asked, getting out of the car, he waits for Shannon "Wonder what mess Kerry has made this time" she asks. Staring at Shannon "Shan, Kerry needs our help, she wouldn't have asked us to come her now if it wasn't urgent." looking around he can't see Josh's car though. Mumbling to herself "it's always urgent with her" before following him.

Knocking on the door, a voice yells out "who is it" "its Lawson" before the door is opened and they are quickly ushered in. Seeing Kerry pacing around her own living room he walks up to her, touching her on the arm "Kerry what is going on, what's the matter?" "Its James, someone tried to kill him last night" Rubbing her hands over her face "Oh Lawson, what have I done, I made him testify, to save him, and look what's happened." Seeing her so helpless he wants to wrap his arms around her, but seeing the scowl on Shannon's face and the others around he does nothing. "So what can we do to help?"

Pacing around, not even looking at Lawson, "Chris wanted TR here, but I don't know why Josh is out the back?"

Hearing someone walk up the path to the front door, Lawson moves over, Chris goes to open it before shutting it quickly. Kerry looks up when she hears a "Hi Mum?" before running over to give him a big hug

Hugging James glad to see him arrive, they walk over to the lounge "are you okay James?" Nodding his head "You said I would be safe Mum, you got me to testify against them, now look what's happening, they are trying to kill me again" James replies scared. "I know I know. im so sorry I didn't think this would happen" Kerry replies her arms wrapped around her. Looking up at Chris "so what now, what's going to happen, he won't be safe staying here."


	2. Chapter 2  Insecurities

Chris walks over "for tonight he is safer here than a hotel, with your team and my men here. In the morning we will take him to a safe house, i promise you Kerry, i will get him out of here safely. The house is surrounded out the back, front and in cars with plain clothes police." Nodding Kerry turns to James "want to go up and get some sleep, use a bedroom upstairs, not downstairs?" Looking at his mum, he has misses her "I want to stay down here for a while mum?"

Chris walks over to Lawson "I need you and Sergeant Henry to stay inside, and if James goes upstairs, someone near his room at all times." walking over to James, "Put this around your neck it is a silent alarm, press it and we get the signal."

Kerry looks around, noticing Shannon there for the first time, and how she is watching Lawson, making a mental note to talk to Lawson when this nightmare was over.

After spending time with his mum, James goes upstairs to try to get some sleep, Lawson and Shannon follow him up, turning to him "we'll be outside your room or someone will the whole time."

Watching them walk upstairs, Kerry sees how close they walk to each other. Walking over to the bench she pours herself a glass of wine, seeing Chris walk over to her "want me to pour you one too"

Nodding at Kerry "one will be great thanks" walking over to get the glass and following her to the lounge. Sitting next to her, he imagines how hard it is for her, after what happened previously and now this. "we will keep him safe Kerry"

Sipping her wine "you better Chris, he's my son, no one can touch my son, if I get these bastards who are trying to kill him, well."

Seeing the anger in her eyes, and if what Ben told him before when he took them off TR a while ago, he doesn't doubt that she would do anything to save him. "we will get them Kerry"

Leaning back on the lounge, she sighs "don't know how much more James can take of this. Hes an idiot I know, but hes my son and I love him" Wanting to know more about Kerry, he starts talking and asking questions.

Upstairs, Lawson and Shannon stay outside James room, Shannon turns to Lawson "James has bought this on to himself you know he is a druggie, then Kerry expects you to come and help her yet again."

Lawson looks at Shannon 'I will help Kerry when ever she needs it." then seeing a jealous look in her eyes he whispers "its you the one I want" looking around and seeing no one around, he leans over and kisses her.

Shannon pulls Lawson closer to her, kissing him back, if Kerry has ruined there night, at least it won't be a total waste hopefully. As there kissing gets hotter, wanting to lose himself with Shannon, momentarily he forgets where they are, but suddenly comes back to the presence, when he hears a noise, pulling away from Shannon quickly, he looks up and sees Kerry turning the corner, hoping his face doesn't give too much away, and that she didn't see anything.

"All quiet up here Kerry?" Lawson replies Kerry looks at them both, her suspicions about them aroused even more now. "have you even checked on him, or been too busy here with Shannon. If anything has happened to him?" Kerry accuses him. Walking in the room and seeing James asleep but tossing and turning she walks out again and back downstairs glaring at both of them.

Shannon turns to Lawson "its not like its our fault if something happens, Kerry should look at herself as a mum and her druggie of a son. She's the one who called us."

Lawson watches Kerry leave, feeling for her and what she is going through. Turning to Shannon "Im going downstairs, I'll send someone else up"

Feeling her glare on him, he ignores it, walking down to check to make sure Kerry is okay. Seeing her on the lounge with Chris near by, he watches as Kerry puts her head in her hands, knowing how this is tearing her up and if anything did happen to James, he doesn't even want to think what she would do then to try to get revenge on them.

Walking back upstairs, he sees Shannon look at him with a question on her face "that didn't take long, didn't she want you to look after her, wrap your arms around her?" Seeing insecurity still on her face he doesn't answer her, but stands outside James room. Shannon looks at Lawson, and the look on his face and needs to know "are you in love with Kerry?"


	3. Chapter 3  if she only knew

Lawson looks at Shannon as if she is crazy but doesn't say anything, at the moment he is annoyed at her, and her attitude towards James and Kerry. Maybe asking that question is why she is being so bitchy and mean. Yes he does love but Kerry but not that way, Kerry is someone he cares very deeply for, and always will and she needs him now, more than Shannon needs him.

Turning towards Shannon, he sees her waiting expectantly for an answer from him "Well are you, your silence is speaking volumes I think?" turning away from Lawson not wanting him to her when he answers, the silence is deafening, and she is sure now that he does love her. Walking away "I have to go downstairs, i'll send someone else up."

As she walks away he grabs her around the waist and pulls her back to her "I do love Kerry" Lawson starts, then seeing the hurt in her eyes as she goes to move out of his arms he continues "but it is not like the way I love you, your the one i want to be with not Kerry" seeing the relief in her eyes and confusion, he continues "but at the moment im wondering why as the way you are acting is not you. I care deeply for Kerry and want to help her anyway i can, and you need to accept that. She needs my help and our help and I will help her anyway i can through this."

Looking into Lawson handsome face "Haven't you helped her enough already, she needs to stand on her own two feet."

Shaking his head "No, and i will continue and if you cant accept that, then maybe you need to find someone else." before walking downstairs to see what was happening now it was morning, hoping that Shannon might come to her sense and understand why he wants to help her, not to push her away. If only she knew how much he was risking being with her, she would start to understand how much he did love her and want to be with her.

Seeing Lawson walk away and down to Kerry, Shannon is fuming mumbling "why does she have such control over him?" Still thinking about what Stella said a while ago in the car about the two of them. She is brought out of her thoughts, by a noise coming from James room, walking in, she sees James getting up. Seeing the look Shannon gives him "you don't think much of me do you?" Shannon shrugs "Im here to do a job, your just lucky your mother is who she is." before following him downstairs.

Walking down stairs Lawson sees Kerry, sleeping on the couch, walking over to Chris "how long has she been asleep for?"

Looking at Kerry Chris replies "Not long, hows things upstairs?"

"Quiet, what happens now?' Lawson asks. "We get James safely out of here and to the safe house and make sure Kerry is safe." Chris replies.

"you think Kerry is in danger" Lawson asks worriedly. "I think they will do anything to get to James and that includes Kerry?" Chris replies,

Hearing a noise coming from the stairs, they look up and see James and Shannon walk down. James looks at Chris "so where do i go now?"

Chris turns to Lawson "i need most of TR to leave now, you can stay, for us to get James out of here.?" "What about keeping Kerry safe?" Lawson asks looking at her stirring and waking up. "safest place for her is work, and we will look after her at night." Chris replies seeing Kerry getting up.

Turning back to Shannon "I'l meet you and Josh later at TR" Seeing the look on Shannons face, he wants to reassure her, but can't do anything with everyone watching. Looking at Shannon and Chris "I'll be back shortly" walking out to his car, hoping Shannon will follow.

Back inside Kerry turns to Chris "how are you getting James out?" Walking over to Kerry and sitting her down on the couch. "We will get him out and safely, and also you too."

"Just worry about James, i'll be fine" getting up and getting ready for work. Watching Lawson walk out the door, followed by Shannon, she stares at the door, and without thinking, goes to walk outside, opening the door to walk out, she is pulled back by Chris "What are you doing Chris, let me go"

"You can't just go outside, your in danger just like James, these guys won't hesitate to do anything to get to James and that includes you:" seeing her about to protest "even if you are a cop"

"Im going to work, that you can't stop me, you concentrate on saving James, not me" before walking off. Chris watches her walk off, smiling at her fiestiness.

Lawson sees Shannon walk towards his car, pulling her out of sight, he wraps his arms around her, feeling her still tense in her arms he leans down and kisses her. Feeling her tension start to leave her, he moves his arms around her. As quickly as he starts he has to finish 'I'll see you at work, can you get a lift with Josh" before walking back inside.

Walking down the stairs Kerry sees James, dressed in a police uniform "thats your plan?"

"You have to trust me Kerry, I will look after him and keep him safe" Chris replies.

Her words simple but with meaning "You better" walking over to him, and hugging him good bye, not wanting to let go, but not wanting to say goodbye , pulling away she goes and makes a coffee not wanting to watch him walk out the door, hoping it isn't the last time she ever sees him.

Leaving her house for the last time in a while, she hops in the car with Lawson, annoyed that she can't even drive her own car to work, or stay at her own house, despite her fear for James, she was also annoyed how it was affecting her life, she was not a person who wanted to be dependant on anyone, and here she was having to get a lift from Lawson and then will have to wait for Chris this afternoon, there could be a plus in that though. Driving along deep in though she has to know, wondering if Lawson would tell her the truth "What is going on between you and Shannon, are you two going out?" turning to look at him, watching his face.

Seeing Kerry staring at him and watching him, he knows he can't tell her the truth "We're friends thats is?" glad Shannon isn't around to hear him say that. "I hope that is all there is to it, you know the rules"

Arriving at TR, they get out of the car, Kerry walking to her desk. Sitting down, she is deep in though, is she really safe here, a while ago those guys got into TR whilst Leon and Audrey where there. Deciding she can't sit around and do nothing and wait for the drug squad to find the people responsible, she walks over to Leon "find out all you can about Ben and Dave, their acquaintances, anyone they met whilst inside, if they are still inside, if they got bail, friends of their girlfriends, i want to know everything about them, and their family." "Everything ok Kerry, is James okay?" Leon asks worriedly "Just find that out Leon and let me know as soon as you have" before walking back to her desk

Sitting at her desk deep in thought her phone rings answering it, she realises it is Chris, letting her know that James is safe. Letting out a deep breath, she is relieved but knows this is only the beginning of the nightmare.

A while later Kerry calls out to Leon "find the information yet?" "Give me time Kerry, these things take time?" Leon calls back. Walking over to him "I don't have time Leon, i need this information now." Nodding he sets to work whilst she walks away.

Out in the communications room Lawson walks up to Leon, seeing the details of Ben and Dave up on the screen he only knows too well what or who wants that "Whats that and who is it for?" "nothing much, just work?" trying to change the screen "Dave and Ben, anything to do with Kerry, why are you doing this Leon?" Lawson demands.

Hearing a commotion out in the room, Kerry gets up "Whats happening why are you hassling Leon?" Lawson turns to Kerry "You tell me, what are you doing Kerry, Ben and Dave, this is dangerous and your job?"

Walking away from Leon, Lawson follows her turning to him with an angry look "What about your job Lawson, you and Shannon and bullshit there is nothing going on there, you know the rules Lawson with your job?"

Staring right back at her "Didn't stop you did it?" Not backing down "You didn't complain, and it was one night Lawson, one night not a relationship?"

"It was more than that Kerry and you know it, there is nothing going on between me and Shannon friends, colleagues that is it." walking away before the argument escalates into something more or worse Shannon hears what he has to say to protect their relationship or worse what Kerry might say.

Calling out after him "If i find out it is more, then you or her or both can kiss your career goodbye." Before walking up to Leon and staring him in the face "Do not tell Lawson anymore about this, he is not to know"

Sitting impatiently at her desk, she calls out again to Leon "find anything?" Against his better judgement, but fearing Kerry more than Lawson, as much as he gets on well with her, she did have a temper and could yell at him, which he really didn't want, and besides he could always get Lawson or Josh to help her. "Kerry?" walking over to him "what do you have?" handing her a piece of paper with addresses and information "that is all i could find, seems Ben and Dave are still behind bars waiting for the court appearance."

"Great worK Leon, see if you can get a tap for their home phone and girlfriends phone" Kerry replies before getting her bag.

Walking out ot TR she calls a taxi, waiting for it to go back to her place so she can get her car, stuff relying on other people, she was able to look after herself in the past and that is not about to change now. Quickly walking back into the base, she gets her radio and lapel camera just in case, before walking out and hopping into the taxi which has now arrived.

Watching Kerry walk out of base, Leon knows where she is going, does he tell Lawson or not, deciding to give Kerry the benefit of the doubt he gets out his phone, trying to call her.

Arriving back at her place, she gets out of the taxi, walking towards her house, she starts to get a bit nervous, maybe she should of told someone where she was going. Walking up the driveway she looks around before hopping in her car, reversing down the driveway, she looks up at the front door, noticing that it isn't closed all the way


	4. Chapter 4  Possession

Stopping the car she looks at the front door, debating whether to stop or go and have a look. Before having a chance to decide the front door opens and out comes Chris, followed by Lawson, Shannon and Christian. Running down to the car, Kerry winds down the window seeing the angry look on Lawsons face and amazement or is it that Chris thinks she is an idiot.

Lawson yanks open the door "Get out of the car Kerry now?" Staring at Lawson "get out of my way Lawson, what are you all doing here any way."

Chris leans down speaking with urgency in his voice "Kerry get out of the car now,quickly" Hearing the tone in his voice, she grabs her bag and gets out of the car. Following them away from her car, she slows down, before Lawson grabs her arm pulling her quickly away.

Getting annoyed quickly at them, especially Lawson she is about to say something when she hears an explosion, turning around she sees her car up in flames. Trying not to show how shaken she is she turns to Chris and all she can manage to say "Oh shit"

Wanting to get Kerry out of there quickly, Chris reaches out and holds her hand to take her to the car. As he takes her hand, he feels something, electricity, something happen, concentrating on the job on hand, he just hurries Kerry back to her car. Getting her in the front seat, he yells out to Lawson "Talk to you later" before speeding off getting Kerry to safety is his main and only concern amongst what he just felt.

Sitting back in his front seat Kerry felt something between them, but now her thoughts are not only is someone trying to kill James, but using her to get to him, seems being an Inspector or even police doesn't even matter, who ever it is, now very desperate to keep both of them quiet, question is who, and she is still going to find out.

Driving along Kerry deep in thought, someone is after her, and James, that was such a close call, glancing a look at Chris she is thankful in a way he is helping her "any leads on who is doing this?"

"some, just let us find them Kerry, without you trying to get yourself killed. I know you want to help but hopefully now you will realise how dangerous it is, and that they will stoop at nothing to get to James, even killing or using you"

"I get that Chris, but this is my son, im not just going to sit and do nothing, they tried to kill me to" Not even going to argue with her he just hopes that next time she takes someone with her. "Just be careful" pulling up at the hotel basement, they get out and walk to the lift "i prefer to stay at my own house Chris?" "you are so stubborn Kerry, just for a week, then hopefully we will have caught them"

Walking into the hotel, she looks around "not bad" before walking into her room and changing. Walking out to the lounge room, she sees Chris sitting on the lounge, looking at him confused "what are you still doing here?"

"Ensuring your safety" Chris replies looking at her outfit "going somewhere?"

Smile on her face "to the gym, so if your coming, i think you would stand out in a suit, got a change of clothes?" before walking out the door.

Back at Kerry's place, Shannon walks inside looking around, well she is also snooping, but will never let Lawson find out. Whilst seeing what she can find, she also can't help but look around see what she can find, maybe if she looks hard enough she can find something about her and Lawson what went on between them or is going on now. Walking into the bedroom, she looks around, it is so neat and tidy, nothing out of place. Wondering where she would keep anything she looks under the bed, finding a box, she pulls it out and is about to open it up, when she hears a voice "What are you doing?"

Shannon looks up from the bed "OH ***, its only you Stella" Stella stares at Shannon and whats she is holding "What are you doing Shannon, not that i can't half guess" Stella replies standing at the door.

"Thought you were Lawson or someone else" Shannon replies not even looking up. "Why are you going through Kerry's stuff, what do you expect to find." then thinking about it she laughs "really think Kerry will write anything about her and Lawson, Shannon your loosing it."

"Shut up Stel, I need to know what is going on between them?" Stella walks in and sits on the bed "Shan, i know you and Lawson have something going, not blind, even though you should of told me, he and Kerry are ancient history, all they do is aruge and fight anyway now?"

Shannon looks at Stella "my point, Lawson told me he loves me not Kerry, but she asks he jumps. i bet if she asked he would jump over a bridge for her?" Laughing at Shannon's last remark, Shannon glared at her "Listen to yourself Shan, Kerry needs Lawson's help and ours, he is being Lawson, and caring, that is who he is, and he loves you but he cares for Kerry always will, you have to deal with that. Put the stuff away, you know what ever you might find, you probably wish you hadn't." before walking out.

Thinking about what Stella said, she knows she is right, does she want to know what Kerry feels for Lawson, as she is about to put the box away she feels something else, pulling it out its a diary. Looking at it, should she open, it, or leave it, surprised that Kerry would keep that, she didn't seem like a person to keep a diary.

Looking around she sits on the floor, opening the page she reads the first entry, it starts with when she hits the cyclist, skimming through some of the pages, she realises what she went through. Feeling guilty she closes the diary, this is her personal thoughts, she would hate it if anyone did that to her, even if she could use some of it and find out what she really thinks about Lawson. Looking at it in her hands, she is tempted to open it further down and read it. Hearing footsteps she puts it back under the bed, quickly getting up, just as Lawson walks in. Hoping her face is showing any guilt, she walks over to him, closing the door and wrapping her arms around his neck.

Quickly kissing Shannon back before lightly slapping her on the bum, he walks out of the room, wondering what that was about, she was sure acting wierder than normal lately but he still loved her, and hoped Kerry never found out.

Finishing looking around the house, they couldn't find anything, leaving Josh and Christian to have another look, he calls Shannon and Stella over to leave.

Walking outside with Josh, they see the bomb squad have arrived looking at the car "Find anything" Matt from the bomb squad walks up to them holding part of the bomb his gaze lingering on Stella "Shes lucky she got out when she did, it was sensor bomb, if she had gone any faster down the driveway or not stopped she would of caught up in it." Looking at the bomb, Lawson then looks at Matt "Probably no chance of fingerprints on it?" "Take it be tested but doubt it so no help there" walking away as he glances at Stella.

Walking over to TR1, he takes out eyes from the back, handing some to Shannon and Stella "put these up all around the house, showing inside and outside, and also one somewhere near the front door." before getting out his computer to be able to get the exact position.

Looking around, whilst waiting, he wonders if anyone is actually watching them now, see what they are doing, wondering what their next move will be or what extemes they will go to. Glancing at Kerry's car, and watching the bomb squad go over it, he shivers thinking what a close call Kerry had before it blew up. He disagreed with Chris though, Kerry should know that someone was in her house before

Looking at the computer outside he is able to see where the eyes are put in Kerry's house, and able to give directions as to where they go and moving them.

Everyone except Lawson is in side the house, as they are about to leave, Josh stops putting his finger on his lips. Hearing a sound they race upstairs. Looking up he sees the hatch to the roof slightly ajar. Lifting Stella up she climbs through the hatch followed by Shannon, with their guns poised. Looking around, she sees a figure running across the roofboards into her com "there is someone up here, he is climbing onto the roof." Lawson into his com "be careful Stel and Shan"

Carefully going across the roof as they approach the hole in the tiles Michael calls out "covering" as Stella climbs out, looking around she sees someone running across the roof. Into her com "he is running towards the others house,"

Waiting for Shannon, they carefully walk across the roof. Stella yells out "Stop police"

Shannon into her com "He is on the roadside of the roof"

Lawson into his com "Christian, Josh where are you, Josh go to the backyard."

Watching Stella and Shannon negotiate the roof carefully he sees the suspect running, as he is trying to get away he looses his footing, and falls, hanging onto the edge of the roof. Walking over to him, they see him look up at him, "get me out of here." he yells at them

Stella looks down "Why should I, let you rot there. Leon, getting a look at the guy"

Looking down at the ground, and only one police officer there, it doesn't look that far and if he jumps carefully he might even be able to get away, its either that or get caught. Bringing his knees up he swings and lets go landing on the ground with a huge thump, quickly looking around he tries to get up to run away, as he does he feels the taser on him, and collaspes to the ground

Lawson walks over to him pulling him up by the scruff of his shirt "Leon any id on the guy yet?" "Ouch your hurting me" he cries out as Lawson yanks him up "Get up then you little turd, without me having to pull you." then leaning into his face "what were you doing here, why did you bomb the car?"

Leon looking at the screen then into his com "His name is Gregory Carr and he has only a few priors, nothing major, he is a druggie, not dealer, but all little offences to do with his habit."

Greg stands up, wincing as he puts pressure on his foot "my foot hurts i want to sit down?"

Lawson stares close at him "No, i decide what you can do, answer my question, why are you here?"

Greg stares back at Lawson not intimidated by him, there are many worse he has dealt with than him, he isn't scared of him by a long way, probably safer if he is put away "felt like a walk and saw the door open"

Lawson leaning closer to him "Bullshit, why this house?"

"Saw the car start to explode so went for cover?" Greg replies

Lawson leans over and grabs his ear "one more chance?" as Shannon and Stella arrive.

Greg, leans back "Okay, i came to buy drugs, and saw the police here so hid then the car exploded thought the safest place was the roof"

Lawson looks at Greg amazed at his story "Im Mickey Mouse, Greg im gettting sick of the games here, one more chance."

Greg looks at Lawson "im telling you the truth, i came to buy drugs from Kerry Vincent, Ive bought them before from her, since i haven't done anything wrong, can i go, if you don't believe me, search her car and house?"

Getting out his mobile, Lawson walks away calling Chris, coming back to Greg he pulls him up off the ground, "police brutality" Greg calls out "Get up, have you met Kerry before?"

Staring at Lawson "yeah, just because she is police doesn't mean she isn't a dealer you know?" Wanting to hit the guy he walks away before he does something he regrets.

A while later, Chris pulls up with Kerry and some other female officers, as Kerry opens the door but doesn't get out. Chris walks over to Lawson as they walk over to Greg and move him closer to the officers and the car "Which one is Kerry?"

Not even looking at the other officers 'sitting in the car". Hearing Greg's comment, she opens her mouth in surrpise, trying not to give too much away, as much as he hoped he wouldn't recognise her or know who she is, she thought this would happen, wanting to get time alone with him to find out who he works for.

Looking up at Lawson she sees a bit of surprise in his eyes but also support.

Chris turns to his team "search the house". Kerry glances up at Chris in surprise "you believe him?" before getting out of the car.

Seeing Chris and the officers walk into the house, leaving Lawson and Kerry outside, she turns to him :"give me a minute"

"kerry" he warns "Lawson, a minute is all I need" she replies. Walking away leaving Kerry alone with the guy, he is near by, hoping she doesn't do something she will regret.

Greg sees Kerry walk over to him, the smirk on his face starting to vanish by the look on her face and no one around. Getting close to him, "what do you want with James?"

Seeing a smirk on his face she leans closer to him "who is after him, and who paid you?" Still getting nothing she looks around seeing no on around, she pushes him hard, making his fall to the seat "this is just the start, tell me what i want to know."

Looking at Kerry's face "you dont scare me, i don't know what you mean, your the one who sells me drugs."

Starting to loose her cool she looks around "you haven't seen anything yet. who has set you up."

Greg stares at Kerry starting to get nervous "No one, i have no idea what you talk about" Kerry walks up to Greg "your an idiot without the brains to think this up". "Your the one with drugs' Greg replies back with a laugh

Inside the door way, Lawson watches Kerry, aware of what she is up to, but keeping an eye so she doesn't go too far. Shannon next to him, watching him. "You went too far there Lawson" Turning quickly to see Shannon "what, that guy knows who tried to kill James and Kerry"

Shannon "you thought you would threaten it out of him, think that will impress Kerry, now you let Kerry out there with him."

Turning away from the door "what would you do, give him lollies and play nice?" before turning around "oh shit" as he sees Kerry walking away from TR1, with something in her hand, towards Greg. Not wanting to alert Chris he runs out the door, towards Kerry "Kerry don't" he calls out.

Walking back from the car towards Greg with a angry mad look in her eyes "one more chance, who is after James"

Greg looks scared at Kerry but still more afraid of Ben and Dave "hit me, you'll be charged" "Risk i will take" Kerry replies, keeping his mouth shut, Kerry swing towards Greg, hitting him, as he falls to the ground she hears Lawson calling out. Turning around she sees Chris standing at the door with another detective "oh shit" as he walks out something in his hand

Glancing at Lawson who is coming down the path followed by Chris and some other guy. Looking at Chris and his face she gathers it is not good. Seeing Lawson come to her side she is grateful for his support. Chris walks up to Kerry "Kerry your under arrest for assult and for posession of a prohibited drug."

.


	5. Chapter 5  Setup

Turning to Lawson who is as shocked as she is before turning back to face Chris "where did you find it, is it heroin or cocaine" glancing at Lawson before looking at Chris "I didn't assault him, he got what he deserved, what about James and the guy who he killed?"

With a blank look on his face Chris looks at Kerry "you hit him Kerry, leave the rest up to us. Anything you say." "I think I know it all by now, but say it if you must" Kerry replies not even looking at Chris

Walking up to Kerry, he leads her to the car, sitting in the back seat she glances at the window seeing the smirk on Greg's face before putting her head in her hands. At least James was safe. Turning back to face the front, she can't even look at Chris, here she was thinking he was helping her and on her side. Chris turns to glance at Kerry, he hates doing this to her, if only she knew why he had to.

Driving away she sees Lawson looking at the car before turning to go back to Greg Pulling him up, he grabs him by the shirt "Get up" walking him over to other the car and practically throwing him into the back seat. Into his com "Josh, send Christian out, and pick him up back at the station.

Turning to Shannon "you drive" Walking up to him "Lawson, is this all worth it, look whats just happened to Kerry" Seeing Christian walk out "Just drive, we taking him back, and seeing what we can get out of him." "im going in with you?" Shannon replies before driving back to TR base.

Arriving back at base, Lawson drags Greg out of the car, and to a room. Following behind him, Shannon grabs him by the arm, letting go of Greg, Christian continues to walk him along "Don't do anything stupid Lawson, its not worth your job, Can't believe i even have to say that to you, Mr Straight Lawson Blake." Giving Shannon a look, he walks back to the room, opening the door, he sees Greg there, following him in, Shannon closes the door behind them, hoping she can get Lawson to see sense.

Arriving at drug squad, Kerry follows Chris inside, this bringing her back to days she would rather forget, following Chris into the interview room, she sits on the chair. Chris walks in with another detective, introducing her as Detective Suzie Rayner. Placing the bag down on the table, she can see it is heroin, not surprised, by the set up and no doubt her finger prints will be on it, since it is in a snap lock bag, and she has plenty of them at her house. Leaning back in the chair, she has no choice but to answer all the questions thrown at her,

Glaring at Chris, and rolling her eyes at the stupidity of the questions asked of her. Chris watches her answer the questions, hoping she doesn't dig herself a hole her answers really not helping her, noticing the look she is giving him.

Walking out of the station hours later, Kerry gets out her phone, dialling Lawson's number, after speaking to him briefly she hangs up, before hailing a taxi back to TR base. At least she wasn't suspended as of yet, probably won't be long though.

Arriving back at TR base, Leon turns around surprised to see her, not even saying hello she walks up to where Lawson is holding Greg, opening the door she walks in, turning to Shannon "you can go now" Shannon shakes her head "Ill stay" Walking over to her "get out of the room" she says firmly.

Walking over to Greg, she leans down "your going to tell me what i want to know?" Staring back at her "how did you get here"

Smiling at him "wouldn't you like to know" Greg goes to stand "I don't have to answer any of your questions" Pushing him back down "Sit, i want answers and your going to give them to me, we can do it the hard way or easy way."

Leaning closer to him "who do you work for?" softening her approach "give us names and we can give you protection" Greg still doesn't answer Kerry continues "now they know you are caught, once we your let go, they will probably kill you, like they do with their drug runners, they will think you have talked and will want you dead, you don't stand a chance out there."

Seeing a bit of fear in his eyes she leans down again "we can give you protection, give us what we need and we will give you protection"

Greg looks at Lawson and back at Kerry "I will talk to you but get him to leave?" Nodding "Okay" Lawson walks up to her "im not going?" Kerry looks at him in the eyes "go, if i need you i will call"

Leaving the room Kerry walks back to Greg "talk"

Greg looks at Kerry "I'll give you what you need but you need to give me what i need?"

Kerry "which is?"

Greg motions her closer and whispers it to her. Nodding and desperate to save James and find out who is after him "ill see what i can do" before opening the door and letting Lawson back in.

Seeing Lawson glance at her as he walks back in the room, she turns to him "i'll leave him with you" before heading out, walking past Shannon, she feels her glare on her, turning around "whats up Shannon"

"Why do you keep pulling Lawson into your mess, that you keep making with James, you are going to bring him down, along with you, is that what you want." Shannon asks Kerry.

Walking back to Shannon her suspicions about the two of them confirmed by her outburst "Lawson's a big boy and can look after himself. If I find out there is anything going on between you, one of you will be looking for another job. I'd be more concerned about if you and Lawson having a relationship than my life"

Walking back into the interview room, Lawson glances at Shannon and the look on her face. Walking Greg downstairs waiting for the detectives to arrive and handing him over.

Walking out to his car, he sees Shannon following him, turning around seeing no one around "Want a lift?" Nodding she walks over and hops into his car.

Driving along to Shannon sees they are heading to her house "not going back to your place?"

"im going to check on Kerry, after everything that happened today?" Confused about what Kerry said "Lawson, why should I be concerned about having a relationship with you and finding another job, what did Kerry mean by that?"

Shannon looks at Lawson expectantly whilst he is driving. Lawson staring straight ahead wondering what Shannon said to her "what did you tell her or say to her for her to say that"

Shannon "why think i said anything to her, don't turn this round on me"

Lawson sighing "Shan, she wouldn't just come out and say that despite what you may think of her."

Looking out the window "why do you always stick up for her, and blame me. I told her not to bring you down with her and her mess of a life. If her life falls apart, who knows you could become Inspector of TR?"

Smiling that Shannon cares "then i really couldn't go out with you, im your superior now, being Inspector, is even higher up. Kerry always comes out on top anyway even with the ESD stuff. Shes not dragging me down she needs help and im not turning my back on her"

Shannon "Im now a Sergeant, so your just my superior, still don't get any benefits from it"

Stopped at lights, Lawson leans over and quickly kisses her "You get more than others from me?"

Shannon laughing at his comment "going to show me more later then?"

Arriving at Shannon's place he turns off the engine, before leaning over and giving her a long hot passionate kiss. Wrapping her arms around him, she pulls him towards him whispering "sure i can't tempt you to come inside, you'll have more fun than at Kerry's" Wrapping his arms around her, he responds to her kisses

Getting a new car, Kerry drives back to her apartment, after what went down today, no mood to see Chris or anyone else. Walking into her apartment she looks around, closing the door quickly behind her. Walking over and pouring herself a drink she settles down on the lounge, about to put her feet up. Hearing her phone ring, she picks it up, not recognising the number "Inspector Kerry Vincent" straining to hear the voice on the other "calm down i can't hear you". Hanging up she grabs her car keys before heading out.


	6. Chapter 6  Helping Greg

Dialling Josh's number she races to her car driving off "Josh meet me at the warehouses in Docklands, near number 7".

Arriving at Docklands a short time later, she takes the bullet proof vest always kept in the car out, putting it on before strapping her gun to her thigh, before calling Josh "Where are you, hurry up"

Josh "I'm nearly there, about a minute away"

Looking around the warehouse, she hears noises, hopping in the car she drives around to where the noises come from putting her phone on speaker "I'm near number 7, drive around" before hanging up. Pulling up she sees two guys with Greg, driving her car as close as she can, she gets out, pulling the gun off her thigh. Looking around she sees Greg, on the ground, seeing Josh pull up and get out of the car along with Stella.

Looking up and seeing the police there, the two guys quickly hop in a car before driving off. Kerry aims her gun at the car, shooting at the back window hearing it smash with the bullets, but keep on driving. Josh turns to Kerry "are you alright, not going to ask why you have a gun off duty" before racing over to the passenger seat.

Nodding "Just get after them" before racing over to check on Greg. Leaving him on the ground she goes and gets her mobile and calls an ambulance, getting a blanket out of the car she runs over wrapping the blanket around him, hoping the ambulance will get there soon.

Josh into his com "Leon need a check Mazda Bravo Yankie Romeo 63 Alfa." Turning to Stella "can't you drive any faster, we're losing the guy" "You try going any faster, the guys an idiot, weaving and whizzing though the traffic" Stella replies keeping an eye and trying to keep up with him.

Josh "If we lose him, you're the one telling Kerry?" "Didn't think you would be scared of Kerry, Josh doesn't help there is so much traffic around ?" Stella replies beeping the horn as a little honda pulls out in front of them, before slamming on the brakes. Looking around, the Mazda has vanished.

Josh gets out of the car walking over to Honda, knocking on the drivers door and opening it "You idiot, didn't you see the car and hear the sirens. Get out of the car now, and show me your licence?"

Stella into the com "Leon can you see where the Mazda went, and we need a rego check on a Honda Civic, Oscar Bravo Kilo 44 Sierra." before walking over to Josh. "You think this guy was helping out the Mazda?"

Josh "you don't suddenly pull out in front of a police car for nothing, unless you are a total moron." Smiling at Josh "there's plenty of them around, and this guy looks like one of them"

Leon into his com "Nothing on the car or the guy, clean skin, owned to a Josh Brenton"

Pulling out the cuffs, Josh cuffs him "what are you doing that for?" the guy asks "Your not Josh Brenton are you, now get in the car?" Into his com "Leon any luck on the Mazda an owner"

Leon into his com "Stolen a few hours ago, and still checking all the cameras but no luck"

At Docklands Kerry gets out her phone "Leon, how far away is the ambulance?" checking the screen "about a minute?"

Leaning down to Greg "don't you dare die on me, I need to know who did this to you, I know why well guessing?" Hearing the sirens she sighs in relief as the ambulance draws closer.

After checking him over, they load him into the ambulance, walking over to them "how he is, where are you taking him" Seeing the ambulance take off, relieved that he is stable, deciding to go to the hospital first thing in the morning she heads back to her apartment, not wanting to stay at the hotel.

Hopping in her car, the phone rings, not looking at he caller Id she answers it. Hearing the voice on the other end as Chris "Kerry where are you? he asks worriedly. Tired about the days events "heading back to my apartment"

Chris "you know it's not safe there, why not come back to the hotel?"

Rolling her eyes "I'm going back to my apartment, didn't think the hotel offer was still there, considering what happened today. Just keep James safe?" before hanging up on him.

Stella and Josh are still driving around, "Leon anything, we are doing circles here and finding nothing, give us something?"

Leon "You think its easy do you know how many cameras there are, only about 50 cameras to go" Josh into his com "Leon we need to find this guy" Looking at the cameras "I know, I'm trying"

Looking at the screen on calls "guys there is a call come in, an accident on St Kilda Rd, involving a Mazda, could be your guy"

Driving along to St Kilda it doesn't take long to spot the accident. Stopping the car Josh quickly hops out, walking cautiously over to the cars, looking into the Mazda there is no on there, looking down on the ground, he sees blood. Walking over to the other car, he looks in calling out to Stella "get an ambulance here"

Into his com "Leon is anyone still at base?" Leon "nah, most have gone home I think and have a life Josh" Josh "Just get some GD's down here then'

Following the blood trail it stops suddenly, looking around seeing glass. Stella turns to Josh 'what are you going to tell Kerry" Josh "nothing, you can't drive, maybe the driver can tell us something Lets head back to base"

Arriving home exhausted, Kerry walks in closing the door behind her. Walking over and getting herself a glass of wine before walking over to the lounge. Trying to relax she thinks about the days events. Hearing a noise outside she picks up the gun she put on the table. Walking over to the front door, she hears a knock, looking on her display she is surprised to see how it is.

Opening the door slowly and cautiously with her gun close by in case she needs it. She sees Greg standing there by himself. Looking around she ushers him inside. "What are you doing here"

"I need help, your right they are after me, not even safe in the hospital" Greg replies shaken up.

Walking down the hallway, she leads him to the lounge "you can stay here tonight, but I need names Greg, I'm not helping you unless you give me some names"

"If i give you names you will give me protection and the other thing. I'm not saying any more unless you help me" Greg replies. Staring at him "I will help you if you give me names, otherwise you are on your own, that won't be for long. Names first."

Nodding at Kerry, he knows she is right, he needs her help, and he trusts her to help him, as she has the most to lose, and her son is at risk. "Give me a pen and paper"

Giving him a pen and paper, he writes down some names, giving the list to Kerry, glancing over them she looks at him "what is this list, most of it makes no sense "

Glancing at Kerry worried and scared "I only know nicknames and first names, they don't want us to know who they are you know, so don't give us much. That is all I have"

Kerry: "I'll see what i can do"

Hearing the knock on the door, she turns to Greg "go upstairs and don't come down" before walking to the door glancing at the intercom, she sees its Lawson.

Following her in " Why are you here and not the hotel, You do know Chris is furious with you and looking for you"

Raising her eyebrows "he'll get over it and he found me anyway, didn't think I'd be welcome there since I'm a drug dealer"

Shaking his head "no one believes that Kerry and the charges will be dropped"

Hearing a noise upstairs "got visitors" Nodding "Greg"

Lawson looks at Kerry in surprise "your joking, are you sure"

Nodding at him "can you stay here a while, i have to go out for a little while" Watching at she walks out the door, he wonders what is happening here

.

Walking towards her car, she sees Lawson's car in the driveway. Walking back inside "can i borrow your car?"

Looking at her curiously "whats wrong with yours". Not wanting to get into anything "Yours is blocking the driveway and yours doesn't look like a police car, so give me your keys."

Tossing Kerry his keys he yells out "Try not to destroy car number 5 is it or 6, soon they won't even give you a car" Walking out of her apartment she calls out to him "why do you try to be such a smart ***"

Hopping in his big blue ute, she pulls out of her drive way as she drives down the street, she doesn't notice a car following her at a distance. Driving along the roads are quite deserted, not for the first time she wonders if she is doing the right thing.

Pulling up at the carpark, she waits in the car. Looking around, she is a sitting duck here, not many people around at all, but after what happened last time when she went to a house to score for James, she isn't taking the chance this time. Locking the doors, it doesn't take long before there is a knock on the window, winding it down a fraction, Kerry then opens the passenger door.

Hopping in the car, the guy pulls out a bag, giving it to Kerry, handing him the money, he quickly hops out of the car. Putting the plastic bags in her bag she pulls out of the carpark heading home.

Seeing Kerry pull up in the car park, the car pulls up further down the road still with a view of the carpark, seeing someone walk to Kerry's car and gettting out not long after he shakes his head. He has been in the drug squad long enough to know, what has just happened, and after today can't believe that she is doing this. Wanting more than anything to bust the car, even charging Kerry for stupidity he waits, to make sure she gets home, wishing in a way he never came, as he is now in a difficult position.

Arriving back at her apartment she parks Lawson's car. Getting her bag out, she opens the front door. Walking in, she sees Lawson watching TV on the lounge, looking around "where's Greg?" Pointing upstairs "Up there not much of a talker"

Walking over to the lounge she sees what he is watching "You watch this garbage hey, never thought this would be your scene" Looking at her "going to tell me where your been" Turning away from him she says nothing avoiding his gaze after a few minutes silence "you really want to know"

Looking at her face and trying to gauge a reaction "Knowing you probably not, my car came back in one piece though" Rolling her eyes at him "Your such smart *** and try hard you know" Laughing "so you keep on telling me"

Looking at her leaning back on the lounge with a glass of wine she turns to him "cheers, here's hoping we find these people"

"You need to be careful, you have no idea who your dealing with her Kerry" Lawson replies worried to what lengths she will go to. "I will get and find what i want" she replies determinedly.

"I know, thats what im worried about and to what lengths, you don't have 9 lives Kerry" Lawson replies knowing she still won't see sense "you worry too much Lawson, need to relax more, still have many lives left, can't get rid of me that easy" Kerry replies

Glancing up and seeing Greg walking down the stairs she gets up, and walks over to him, ushering him back upstairs she hands him a small package. Turning around to go back down stairs she bumps into Lawson "Speak to me Kerry, what are you doing?" Her eyes darting between Greg and Lawson "Just making sure Greg is ok" Looking at Greg who is hiding the plastic bag "bullshit"

Lawson stares at Kerry then Greg "going to tell me whats going on here"

Pushing Lawson back down the stairs "stay out of it Lawson" before walking away from him.

Walking towards her "Talk to me Kerry, what are you doing here" Fiddling so she doesn't have to look at him "i don't know what you think i was doing but..." Facing her "Really, where were you tonight Kerry" seeing her eyes dart around and silence from her, he leans towards her "I want to help you but I can't if you don't talk to me"

Walking over to the lounge and pouring herself another drink "I don't need your help or want it Lawson" then softening, "I'm not dragging you into this mess, I'm the one they want or James"

Looking at her worried face "Do you really think your doing the right thing here Kerry?" Not even looking at him "what is the right thing" then looking at him "you would do the same if it was your son, this is my son Lawson. So tell me is there a right thing and what is it." Not being able to answer her but her reply gives him an idea of where she was and any answer she won't want to listen to anyway. Is there a right way after all he feels so helpless.

Looking at the time, and realising he has been much longer than he told Shannon, but not wanting to leave her alone. Seeing Lawson glance at the time "somewhere you need to be, like Shannon" looking at him in the eye to see his reaction. Realising she is watching him, he shakes his head. "Lawson, i don't need someone looking after me, if you need to go then go, i don't need a baby sitter"

Picking up his keys he heads off "lock all the doors" rolling her eyes at him "think i know what to do" then watching him walk out "thanks" before closing the door.

Watching Lawson walk out the door, Chris realises Kerry is still up, but now vunerable as she is by herself so with no choice he sits and waits. .

Walking over to her bag, she opens "Oh ***" just as she hears the door bell ring. Glancing at the intercom she mumbles "can this night get any better" Not being wanting another interogation or even bothering to speak to Chris not with Greg upstairs, she turns away.

Leaving the lights on for the time being she walks up stairs, exhausted from the previous days, lying in bed, she can't sleep her mind replaying all the events. She needs to get Greg out of here, whilst he is here, neither of them are totally safe. She has to get him to a better/safer place otherwise both of them are likely to end up dead. Where to is another question..


	7. Chapter 7  the search

Pulling the car into TR the following morning, Kerry looks around, hoping she is there early, looking around she sees the TR cars still there. Getting out she walks into the operations room, looking around she sees Leon just arriving, and settling in. Walking over to him she hands him a piece of paper "I need you to look up and get addresses for these names"

Looking at the piece of paper "not much info here Kerry" Leaning down "i know you can find out what i need though Leon, your best intel officer i know" Aware of what she wants he turns around and hands the piece of paper back to her looking around "I can't do it Kerry, is this to do with James?"

Looking at Leon in surprise all she manages to say "why, what have you been told" Looking around he whispers "I'm not allowed to look up any information for you that you need about James or any drug dealers"

Running her hand through her hair wanting to scream, but knowing it isn't Leon's fault she walks over to her desk. Hopping on her computer, she tries to find the information.

Hearing a noise next to him Leon, looks up seeing Audrey there, he gets up walking over to Kerry's office he sees her frowning trying to find out information leaning down he whispers "they never said i couldn't show you how to find the information, just don't tell anyone, move over" Smiling up at him gratefully, Leon moves in behind her, sitting next to her she reaches over and kisses him quickly on the cheek, now she might actually get what she needs. Typing away at Kerry's computer Leon shows and writes things down. Finally she is getting some information and with any luck James won't have to be in isolation for much longer, he has done some stupid things, but deep down, she feels partly to blame, never really being there for him, not wanting to admit what a huge failure she is at a mother, knowing she is.

Bought out of her thoughts, she looks at the screen, with all this information. Looking at Leon "Thanks Leon, I couldn't of done this without you."

"Well already been to ESD, so used to them now, still scary they are, did you know they pretend to cook waffles to get you to talk" Looking at the Leon confused then at the screen again "I could never of got all of this" Smiling at her "I know Kerry, your pretty useless as at Intel"

Over at the screen Audrey is watching a address and name pop up, the name seems familiar to her. Yelling out to Kerry "Whats the guy's name that was at your house?"

Getting off her chair and walking over to Audrey "Whats happening?"

Looking at the details on the screen she quickly puts the head set on "Lawson, how far away are you from Elwood, get to 71 Taylor Street, there's been a drive by shooting at Gregory Carr's house"

Hearing her phone rings she sees Lawson calling, and walks out of the communications room. Picking up her phone "he should be at my house still"

Lawson whispering "will drop by after this to make sure and let you know" before hanging up.

Looking in the rearview mirror, he sees Shannon raising her eyebrows but saying nothing. Stella turns to Lawson "secret code to your girlfriend hey?" then pretending to concentrate on driving, but not missing the look Lawson tries to hide, and gives Shannon before turning back to Stella "Just drive Stel, stop listening in on conversations" Laughing "a bit hard when im in the car with you"

Arriving at Greg's place, Lawson sees the uniforms have already arrived. Turning to Stella "knock on the doors, ask the people looking", walking over to the group gathered she calls out "get back everyone, move away"

Walking up to the house, they see the GD's turning around Lawson sees Chris walking out of the house up to him talking straight away "Kerry send you over, do you have any idea where Greg is"

Shaking his head at Chris "why would I, considering what the guy did to Kerry and you all believe the bull ***."

Walking away "if you hear anything let me know, if he has vanished, looks even worse for Kerry".

Feeling Shannon's hand on his hand, as she speaks "there's nothing you can do about it," before turning and facing him "you do know where Greg is though"

Hating lying to Shannon, but needing to protect Kerry "if he has any brains he would of vanished. If they've gotten him, all the better for Kerry"

Looking at Lawson "you really believe that, it will only be the beginning, you know it."

Walking inside they look around, Shannon turns to Lawson "typical bloke house, a mess" hitting her on the arm "oi, my house is nothing like this, unlike yours"

Stella into her com "Leon i need a reg check on a car, holden barina reg bravo bravo alfa, 92 sierra"

Walking back to his desk at base, Leon looks up the reg, before calling out to Kerry, "you might want to see this?"

Walking over to Leon and looking at the screen she smiles as she puts the headset on "Lawson, the owner of the car is one William Strienberg, address is 73 Elwood Parade, Flemington, I'm going there now"

Josh into his com "Kerry want us to go there"

Lawson into his com "Josh, come to this address, I'll leave Shan here, Stel and I will meet Kerry there"

Turning to face Shannon he sees no one around quickly leaning down to kiss her, glaring at him "leave me here"

Sighing at him "Shan, i need you here, now your a sergeant, i can't leave Stel here by herself" before running off to the car "Yeah sure just run after Kerry" she mumbles to herself

Driving up to Williams house, Kerry notices that there is no car in the driveway, pulling up further down she impatiently waits for Lawson to arrive "Lawson how far away" Lawson into his com "1 minute or 2, be there shortly"

Looking around at the houses in the area, Kerry realises that he is no doubt a pawn in all of this, what guy high up would live in this area. Maybe he will be some use to them after all.

Hearing a car drive down the street, and slow down, she mumbles "about time" before looking up, smiling to herself. Watching a guy pull into the driveway she strains to get a better look at him. Hopping out of the car she walks carefully down the street, leaving her vest in the car. Getting as close as she dares she whispers into ther com "Lawson, William has just arrived back".

Watching him walk into the house, she quickly runs back to her car, getting out her vest, wondering how long a minute or 2 is for Lawson. "Leon, any back entrances to these houses, alleyways?"

Watching Lawson get out of the car "About bloody time, how slow were you driving, its more like 5 minutes" Lawson looks at Kerry "nice to see you too Kerry"

Leon into his com "the house backs onto another house, which then leads to a laneway"

Lawson turns to Stella "go put some eyes on the windows" before opening up the computer.

After all the eyes are up and positioned, they look at the computer. Lawson looks up at Kerry and Stella seems to be only 2 of them in the house" then turning to Stel "you and Kerry go around the back door, i'll go in the front"

Walking around the back door, they tap on the com, opening the front door Lawson barges in "police"

Seeing the police come in, William runs to the back door, pushing past Kerry and Stella he runs for the fence

Quickly regaining their balance, Kerry runs after the guy, pulling him from the fence by his shirt, the adrenalin and the need to find out more, gives her the strength she needs to pull him onto the ground. Still struggling and trying to get away, she tries to get his arms behind his back.

Looking up and seeing Stella there, who quickly hops on the guy and ties him up. Looking up at Kerry "not bad for someone old and out of practice"

Glaring at Stella "watch who you call old" Laughing Stella pulls him up, before leading him out to the car.

Walking back inside, Kerry looks around with Lawson, seeing what she presumes is the girlfriend, she looks at Lawson before showing her badge to the girl "sit there, we're taking a look around?"

Looking up at Kerry and trying to get up "hey, you can't do that, I do know my rights, you need a search warrant."

Walking back to her and pushing her back down "sit, no I don't, what do you have to hide, we can do this the hard way or easy"

Glaring at Kerry "that's assault, pushing me, you will regret that." Turning to look at her "is that a threat? not wise move" before walking off to look around.

Getting her up, Lawson walks her out to the car to Stella, before coming back inside to help Kerry. Searching the rooms, they find nothing. Sure there is drugs in the house and needing something, Kerry walks back inside, frustrated with everything, she hits the wall in the room, surprised to see it break, peeling back the plaster she smiles, putting her hand in she reaches in, pulling out plastic bags. Seeing how much is there, she quickly puts one in her bag before calling out to Lawson.

Walking into the room, he sees the hole in the wall, turning to Kerry he looks at her curiously wondering what happened. Shrugging at him, she pulls carefully a plastic bag out of the wall. Walking over and shining his torch into the wall he turns back to Kerry "you do know what this looks like "

Exapserated "Oh *** Lawson, why do you always think the worse of me" before walking out "Just call the drug squad and get some gd's down here"

Following her out, he reaches out turning her around to face him "I don't think the worse of you, I don't want you to lose your job, and even you have to admit this will look bad with drug squad"

Seeing the concern in his eyes, she knows he is telling the truth and trying to help, damm it, why does he have this affect on her, she knows she can rely on him, even though he is self righteous, and much more.

Walking out of the house towards TR and Kerry's car, they see another car turn up, watching Chris and another girl get out before another car pulls up Kerry shakes her head "Could this day get any better."

Watching Chris walk up to the door he turns to see Kerry, walking off to her car. Calling out to her "Kerry" seeing her not even stop he calls out louder "Kerry" turning around with a glare in her eyes "Greg has disappeared, do you have any idea where he is?"

"You better not lose James, you need better luck there" before walking off and getting in her car.

Lawson looks up and sees Chris watch Kerry get in her car driving away, mumbling to Stella "what did the idiot expect"

Stella looks at Lawson, knowing there is more going on than either is letting on "going to tell me what this is all about, why Kerry is getting us all over the city chasing drug dealers or anyone associated with drugs, I know it has to do with James, this isn't our job Lawson"

Staring ahead "Just drive Stel, she needs out help, I thought you of all people would understand that" Glancing at Lawson "I do, but isn't drug squad for that."

Seeing TR1 arrive back later that evening, and Lawson getting out of the car, Kerry motions him over. Walking over to her they walk away from the cars "whats this about Kerry?" Turning to face him "I need you to have Greg at your place for a few nights?"

Looking at Kerry's face he sees this is all taking its toll on her, James in hiding, trying to find out who is after him all by herself. She was a strong person, and on the outside she was still together, but he wondered how she was actually coping on the inside. He doubt she would let anyone see her fall apart again. Seeing the weariness on her he hears himself saying "yes for a few nights" wondering how he will explain it to Shannon, or avoid Shannon coming over, both would be hard. Relieved with his answer "pick him up tomorrow morning" before walking off to her car. Hearing Lawson call out as she walks off "yeah thanks Lawson, you're a great help" Kerry smiles to herself, whispering "thanks"

Watching her walk to her car he wants to reach out and just hold her, protect her, remembering the first time they meet and now they have both come a long way.

Hopping into her car, she opens up her bag, seeing the plastic bag there, she puts her head on her hand on the steering wheel. What was she doing, if they found this, it would be her job this time, TR would be affected, she'd put so much of her life into the job. All of this was affecting her mind, this isn't who i am. With a determined resolve, she would get rid of them in the morning.

Arriving back at her place she walks in, dumping her bag on the shelf, she yells out "Greg". Wondering where he is, she is about to go upstairs, when she hears the door rings, glancing at the door monitor she mumbles "oh ***" before yelling upstairs "Greg, stay upstairs".

Opening the door she is still surprised "what are you doing here?"


	8. Chapter 8  Sprung

Leaning against the door Kerry waits for an answer. "Can i come in, we need to talk."

Looking down at a package in his hands, she lets the door open, walking towards the lounge, closing the door behind him, he follows her in.

As he follows her she turns around looking at him "what do you want to talk about?" Looking around her place it is neat and doesn't give much away "Kerry where is Greg?" Not even looking at him "told you before I don't know, if that' what you've come for leave now" walking away from him, over to the bench pouring herself a glass of wine.

Placing an envelope on the bench with a loud thump she looks up "whats this".

"Take a look at them, then explain" Opening up the envelope and taking the photos out she looks at them, and then up at Chris "so photos of me, and..."

Getting exasperated at her answers "care to explain them" shaking her head. "Kerry, help me here, explain why there are photos of you and a well known drug dealer"

Looking up at Chris "where did you get them from" Holding her gaze and leaning towards her "left at drug squad this morning, tell me what's going on"

Walking around not looking at him "he is an informant, that wanted to see me last night" Nodding his head "so what about this photo, still sticking to your story" handing her a photo

"Oh shit, who took them" Kerry demandss walking over to the lounge. Sitting down next to her "talk to me Kerry, I'm trying to help you here"

Turning to look at him "what by charging me, why should I talk to you, who else knows" pointing to the photos. Touching her on the arm "let me help you, no one else knows, that I'm aware of"

"Kerry, didn't hear you come in" hearing her name she looks up as she hears footsteps coming down the stairs. Putting her head in her hand and rubbing her eyes, she realises she is in deep shit made even worse now. Looking up she sees Chris's glare on her.

Getting up off the couch she quickly glances at Chris, then Greg. Seeing Chris looking at her, waiting for her answer her eyes darting around.. Walking back down she sits on the couch fiddling with her hands. Before looking up at Chris who is saying nothing but his facial expressions says it all, mainly disappointment.

Greg looks at Kerry and then Chris "I'll go back upstairs, just wanted a drink and food"

"Going to explain Kerry, give me a reason why I should not charge you now" Chris asks her trying to hide his anger and frustration.

Staring defiantly at him "charge me with what, helping someone"

"More like helping yourself Kerry, why do you keep doing this, why try and ruin your career" Chris asks trying to figure out what's going on.

Glancing down at her hands she replies softly "Greg is a link to who is behind it all, I'm just trying to save his life, something you and the drug squad, don't really care about. i'd give up my whole career if it meant saving James and him not in hiding." Glancing at Kerry "You might be looking at that" Looking at Chris "do you have children" Nodding "I have 2 girls and of course i would try do everything to help them within reason" then looking at him in the eyes "All I'm doing is helping my son and keeping him alive, I'm sick of reasoning"

Wanting to help her, even though she is going through it all the wrong way, but with his girls he would do anything for them also. "So what's your plan now, he's not safe here not with you, and he's putting your life in danger?"

Looking at his face which has softened "depends whose asking?" Smiling at her stubborness "Chris who cares, not the drug squad guy, even though I'm going to regret this."

Giving a small laugh wondering whether she should trust him "he goes somewhere else tomorrow, then take it day by day"

"I'll try to help you, can't promise anything". Chris replies, gently touching her arm feeling something between them, wanting to hold her, take some of her pain away, maybe some day, but happy to just help her.

Leaning back on the chair, Kerry finally relaxes, feeling not totally by herself for the time being, maybe just maybe there is light at the end of all of this. Feeling his hand on her arm, she tries to control the goosebumps that his touch caused.

Leaning back on the couch, facing Chris, the time is flying by, glancing at her watch she is surprise to see what time it is. A few days ago, she really didn't want much to do with him, but her they are, talking away. Looking into his blue eyes, her head is filled with thoughts, of what it would be like to lean over and kiss him, feeling a blush on her cheeks she looks away from him around her apartment.

After spending the night talking to him, she will admit it was nice, and it does get lonely by herself. Looking back at Chris, she sees him staring at her,

Getting off the lounge, before she does something stupid she yawns "think i'll head off to bed" watching Kerry get up "is that an invitation". Not trusting herself to even look at him "what if it was".

Getting off the lounge, and walking over to her, he pushes the hair away from her ear and whispers "I'd take you up on the offer".

Not believing what she is hearing, and not expecting it too turn out that way she turns around to face him, looking up into his blue eyes she feels his lips upon hers. Feeling his arms wrap around her, drawing her towards him, she feels herself respond to his kisses. The last time she had kissed someone was Boyd, she doesn't even want to go back there ever.

With his arms around Kerry, Chris never expected to do this, but talking to Kerry and watching her get up, he is drawn to her. Making their way back to the lounge with their clothes falling to the ground, they fall down onto the lounge, for the time being both forgetting everything but each other.

Kerry lies back snuggled against Chris on the lounge, looking up into his eyes, pushing her hair away from her face, he looks down into her blue eyes, for the first time since all of this has happened, he sees something more than sadness and anger. Leaning down his lips finds her, kissing her again as his arms move around her body. Wrapping his arms around Kerry, he is happy just to lie there with her. Looking down he sees her eyes closed. Kissing the top of her head he tries to get some sleep too.

Waking up the next morning, Kerry goes to get up feeling an arm around her, she opens her eyes, and sees Chris next to her. A smile spreads on her face, as memories of the night before flood back to her. Looking up into his eyes, she sees he is awake "hello sleepy head" he whispers to her, before leaning down and kissing her good morning.

Dropping Shannon off at TR, Lawson continues onto Kerry's place, in his own car. Walking up to the front door, he wonders if he is making the right decision.

Getting up to make Chris and herself some coffee, she opens the fridge and cupboard, looking in them, she sees that there isn't much there, Feeling Chris's arms around her, she leans back into him "can't offer you breakfast, wasn't expecting visitors" looking over her shoulder "so i see, how about I buy you breakfast before work."

Leaning back up to kiss him "that would be great". Feeling his lips against her again, and his arms wrapped around her, she doesn't hear the door bell ring.

Standing at the front door, Lawson keeps on ringing it, not hearing an answer, he turns the door handle, feeling the door open, he can't believe how stupid Kerry is leaving her door unlocked, but also worried something has happened. Walking in, he gasps in surprise no wonder Kerry didn't hear him

Creeping past them he makes his way to the lounge, sitting down. After what seems like ages, and trying to look everywhere but at the kitchen, he isn't able to take much more of watching the two of them. Watching Kerry with Chris briefly, brings back memories of just after Grace had died, finding comfort in each other.

Feeling Chris's lips against hers, Kerry thinks she hears a noise, glancing up she sees nothing. Glancing at her watch she pulls herself away from Chris, "Lawson will be here shortly, don't really want him to see me like this and I have a breakfast to go too" Smiling at Kerry "Really, I'm not complaining I like seeing you like this".

Stiffling a laugh on the couch Lawson pipes up "Why don't you want Lawson to see you like this, not like I haven't before"

Thinking she is hearing things, she turns towards the lounge, seeing Lawson there, trying not to laugh "Shit Lawson" then her eyes narrowing "Don't you know how to knock, how long have you been here for?" Still stiffling a laugh "I did knock Kerry, but for some reason, you didn't hear me, and leaving the front door unlocked pretty dumb Kerry, suppose you had other things on your mind."

Fuming that Lawson is standing there, and not controlling his laugh or amusement of the situation just makes her madder. She sees Chris walking quickly over to the lounge picking up his clothes and walking up stairs.

Turning back to Lawson "Your enjoying this" Nodding "you bet" then getting serious "with Chris Kerry, are you that desperate?"

Walking over to the lounge, not even going to explain she picks up her clothes her eyes spitting with fire "not a word of this to anyone Lawson"

Not bothered by her warning "don't cover up for my benefit I have seen it all before remember"

"smart arse, i would rather not remember" knowing that he is not going to let her forget this for ages and now the explaining to him also.

Walking around Lawson waits for Kerry to come back down. He can't believe what he walked in on, Chris of all people, what was she thinking, actually he doubts she was thinking. Hearing a noise, he looks up and sees Chris walking down the stairs, dressed for work. Not wanting to really talk to him, he turns away.

Chris sees Lawson turn around as soon as he sees him, wanting to try to set things right, he knows Lawson doesn't think much of him, but doesn't really care "I'm not going to hurt her Lawson"

Turning around "if you do you'll have me to deal with, just do her a favour and get out of her life, you've done enough for her already, she is already up for charges thanks to you, making the most of her when she is vunerable"

Looking at Lawson's mad face "im not getting out of her life"

Walking down the stairs she sees Chris in the lounge waiting for her and Lawson near by, glancing at both of them, she wonders what has gone on between them. she is ready to kill Lawson, she didn't want him to know about this at all, she expected a reaction from him. Hearing the last of the conversation she walks over to between the two of them "Lawson, leave it"

Seeing Greg walk down the stairs, she walks to the front door, opening it and looking around, she and Greg walk out to Lawson's car with Lawson and Chris following. Nearing Lawson's car on the drive way she is close to Greg, when she hears a shot ring out, and sees Greg falling to the ground.


	9. Chapter 9  Taking Risks

Seeing Greg on the ground Kerry kneels down next to him feeling for a pulse. Seeing Lawson and Chris near by, she looks at them "what are you waiting for" Lawson is already off running. Chris hesitates, not wanting to leave Kerry with Greg "im fine, go get the guy who did this" nodding he follows Lawson down the street.

Running back inside, she grabs her phone and towels. Dialling the ambulance, before pressing the towel on the gun shot wound. Looking at Greg, his is gasping for breath "come on Greg, don't you dare die on me, not now"

Trying to open his eyes, "go get them Kerry, i know you will" before closing his eyes. Dialling base, she doesn't even let Leon answer the phone before asking "how far is the ambulance away from my place Leon?" Looking at the screen "is everything alright Kerry"

In no mood to talk "Leon how far" she yells into the phone. "a few minutes still Kerry" then hearing the engaged signal, wonder what is going on.

Looking back at Greg, his breathing is becoming slower, before taking a gulp. Removing her hand from the wound, she starts CPR on him, frantic to save him. Working on him, she doesn't see Lawson and Chris come back, until Chris kneels down next to him, feeling a pulse, he shakes his head. Seeing Kerry not giving up, he starts compressions. The amount of blood Greg has lost he knows they have lost him, and he suspects Kerry does too.

Hearing the sirens, he looks up and sees the ambulance arrive, walking over "gun shot wound."

Walking over to Kerry Chris gently taps on her shoulder, as the paramedics take over. Closing her eyes, she knows what is coming as one of them walks over to her "sorry there is nothing we can do, he has gone. Taking Chris's hand off her shoulder, she walks over to the guy Lawson is holding, unleashing her fury she hits him over the face with her hand

Seeing Kerry hit the guy, Chris doesn't say anything, he knows how much she is going through and what she did for Greg, and now he is dead..

Walking over to her, she shakes her head walking off turning to Lawson "Take him to TR," Nodding "Shannon and Stel are on their way with TR1" then throwing his keys at her "can you drive my car to TR, I'll get what i can out of him"

Chris walks up to Lawson "this is homicide and drug squad now" then seeing the look in Kerry's eyes "safer if we pick him up from TR," Smiling at him, she mumbles "thanks".

Waiting with Lawson for TR1, to arrive she sits on the front steps each time she thinks she is getting somewhere something happens. Chris walks over and sits down next to her "I'm fine" she replies to the look he gives her. Waiting with the guy Lawson glances over at Chris sitting on the step with Kerry, he has been protective of Kerry, she is vunerable right now, scowling at Chris.

Turning to Kerry the guy says "lucky my shot wasn't so good, otherwise you'd be dead to, but then won't be long until you are."

Lawson grabs his shirt "what does that mean" Calling out to him "Leave it Lawson, we all know who he works for, he'll end up just like Greg too, dead once they finish with him"

Seeing TR arrive, Kerry walks over to Lawson "i'll met you back at base shortly" a plan forming in her mind. Lawson glances at Kerry before putting the guy in TR, this isn't like Kerry, she has been so gung ho about it all, doing things that can ruin her career.

Sitting in the back seat with Shannon, Stella is driving. Looking at the guy, then at Lawson in the rearview mirror, Stella needs to know "why was that guy at Kerry's and what were you doing there instead of work." Glancing up at Shannon, Lawson knows Shannon is thinking the same thing, the glare on her face when TR stopped outside Kerry's was more than a give away. "Yeah Lawson" then quieter "why didn't you say anything" Shannon asks, hurt that Lawson was keeping something that big from her.

Whispering to her "I'll explain later" Stella waiting for an answer "well Lawson, what's the deal with Kerry and that guy, and did you see how cozy she was on the step of her house"

"Do you really want to know Stella, what Kerry does is her business and no one elses:" Lawson replies, knowing it still won't be the end of it all. "Bet Shannon wants to know, if she doesn't already which I'm gathering she doesn't"

Seeing the look in the rearview mirror "Lawson i know about you and Shannon, and gathering from this, even Shannon doesn't know about Kerry" then joking "having a bit on the side"

Needing Stella to stop and none of her business "thats enough Stel" he says sharply before giving Shannon a look who whispers "she made me tell her" "Stella though" Lawson whispers back. Smiling smugly in the front, Stella knows she has one up on Lawson knowing about him and Shannon.

Arriving back at TR, he turns to Shannon and Stel "I'm taking him to a room and keep him there, until drug squad arrives" Shannon calls out after Lawson "wait I'm coming too" catching up to him Lawson turns "Shan I can take him by myself" "I know you can, but I get to spend some time with you" she replies needing to keep an eye on him

Arriving at TR, Kerry sees Lawson walking out "find anything out"

Shaking his head not much "Damian Stroud a long history of drug related offences though. Chris has taken him now" before hopping into TR1 and driving off.

A few hours later, Kerry's phone rings, after hanging up she walks out to the coms room "Leon, find out who posted bail for a Damian Stroud, there is more to this guy" turning to face Kerry "is that the guy who was in here earlier"

Nodding, she walks out of TR, seeing Lawson's car instead of hers 'damm it" walking back she gets his keys and drives out of TR.

Pulling up at the address 15 minutes later, she looks around, he is in a better neighbour hood than the others. Getting out of the car, she walks towards the front door, ringing the door bell, she is slightly surprised to see Damian answer the door. Opening it up 'what do you want," he asks gruffily. Looking at him "you going to let me in."

Looking at her up and down "he could think of a few things he could do with her, bit older than what he usually goes for, but he's guessing she's seen a bit. Opening the door she walks inside looking around as casually as she can. Damian follows her inside. Kerry turns to face him "surprised to see you here, thought you'd still be held" Shaking his head "nah, surprised to see you here, one bullet it all it will take to shoot you, could even kill you this time." Holding his gaze, she wonders if she did the right thing, coming here, no one knows she is here, and here she is with a killer.

Looking at Damian "your not the smartest guy are you, shooting a cop, really think you'd get away with it. Not like shooting Greg then they don't want you for your brains"

"Have to catch me first" Damian replies cockly "They will, but you will probably end up dead like Greg" Kerry replies. "Nah" Damian replies walking over to get himself a drink "Want one" he asks Kerry before continuing "if I kill you, I won't be touched, Greg was a loser, I'm not, I'm invisible"

Watching him pour himself a wine and start to drink it, takes her self control not to say yes. Looking at Kerry "don't want to shoot ya, your kind of alright for a cop" pouring himself another glass, he gets a glass and gives it to her.

Looking at Damian he seems like an alright guy "why do it" "Million dollar question isn't it, why not?" he shrugs "pays good, Jacko looks after me alright too, pays my bills and with Dave in jail, well." turning to face Kerry she makes sure her face gives nothing away amazed he is saying all of this to her, but knowing he isn't scared of these guys, she can't do much.

Looking at Kerry he likes her, she isn't scared of him, and very determined and he doubts that she would ever tell anyone where James is, he ends up saying softly "you need to watch yourself, these guys want you, they want to find out where James is, and will use you to get to him"

Looking at him in surprise "why are you telling me this" Shrugging "I'm a father and would do anything for my child, want to go out for a meal" Smiling at him, and tempted to use it to gather information she hears herself saying "maybe" before picking up her bag and walking out the door, driving back to base, before Lawson gets back wanting his car.

Back at base, Michael arrives at base, walking into the coms room, hearing a noise Leon turns around "when are you back at work?" "That's why I'm here to see Kerry" Michael replies looking around. Pointing to a seat "she's not here nor Audrey at the moment, tell me what's happening, as nothing is happening here" Leon asks.

"Did you know Lawson and Shannon are together?" Michael asks Leon, wanting to tell someone. Shaking his head "no way, nope Shannon is off men for a year?" Lowering his voice "i caught them on a tape at our property, whilst on duty"

Not believing what Michael is saying "not Lawson?" Nodding "Yep and Shannon, notice she is in a better mood"

Pulling into base Kerry is relieved to see that the TR cars are not back yet. Walking into the coms rooms she overhears the last part of a conversation between Leon and Michael, as she walks into the coms room. "Michael, how you feeling?"

Jumping slightly out of his seat Leon laughs "you get used to her creeping up on you" Turning to Leon "I don't creep you just don't listen"

Michael starts to get up "i want to come back to work Kerry" Nodding and looking at him, Leon interrupts "Kerry there is a guy upstairs waiting for you, pretty rude and impatient too" "where's he from" Kerry asks not expecting anyone before walking upstairs.

Michael glances at Leon "do you think she heard, Lawson and Shannon will kill me" Watching Kerry walk out "maybe some of it. you'll be in deep shit if she did"

Walking up the stairs her thoughts are on the last bit she over heard, between Michael and Leon, she will do more investigating and if it is true those two will not be working together again.

As she goes to walk upstairs, the phone rings and Leon calls out "Kerry phone call, Damien Stroud" surprised he is calling her "put him through to my mobile" answering the phone she wonders what he wants "Kerry how about a drink?" not answering he continues "got some information for you?" "yeah what?" she replies "meet me and i'll tell you" Damien replies knowing that she won't be able to resist. "i'll meet you at Docklands at 5 pm" before hanging up.

Walking up stairs she walks into the room, seeing a guy walking around impatiently, walking in he turns around "Inspector Vincent, Sergeant Michael Hall from Armed Robbery, been waiting here a while" Raising her eyebrows at him "let me know next time your coming, then you won't have to wait if I'm not here"

Waiting for his information, it is sketch at best, turning to him she walks back downstairs and into the coms room, Kerry sees Michael still there talking to Leon. "Leon, where's Lawson" pointing to the screen, she rolls her eyes at him "is he on a job?" Shaking his head "just finished, he is leaving the city" Putting the headphones on "Lawson"

Lawson in his com "Yeah Kerry"

Kerry: "Need you back at base now, how far away?"

Lawson "5 mins, see you then"

Turning to Michael "you can come back to work admin only" seeing the look on his face "your not operational and fit" Standing up "Kerry, look at me, I'm fit and great"

Laughing at him "starting now, Leon can tell you where they are, I want all the running/day sheets for October and I'll talk to you when I come back down." then turning to Leon, "send Lawson up when he arrives"

Walking back up stairs she sees Michael still there "you need the tactical part for this operation, this is what is happening, you tell me all you know." Hearing the TR car arrive, Lawson walks up a few minutes later, "this is Senior Sergeant Lawson Blake, so what have you got?"

Micheal looks at both of them, "our information has that there is a armed robbery planned for Crown Casino tonight" Kerry looks at him "you've already said that" "we don't have much information, we've only had a few days to find this out and put together, so details are a bit sketchy."

Lawson looks at the Sergeant "thats all you've got?" Micheal starts to get annoyed at them, he knows it isn't much and he really doesn't want TR involved but protocol says otherwise. "that's all we've got. you might have heard of the armed robbers hitting the banks/ etc called 3 minute bandits, we have had a guy undercover and he has passed on the information, sketchy yes, but that is all he got out of it all. They are hitting it tonight, after the shops at southbank close."

Nodding Lawson things "we will take things from here then, being a public place and the casino, protecting the public from it all will be the main concern, so no hostages." Turning to Kerry "Kronin is still in jail?" Nodding "as far as I'm aware he is"

Leaving Lawson with Sergeant Michael, Kerry walks down stairs, turning to Leon "are you able to log into crown casino, we need to find out where all the cameras are, in the casino, southbank, carparks, and surrounding buildings." Turning to Kerry "thats alot of places and cameras Kerry?" "well you better get on it then?" Kerry replies walking over to her headset "is Josh still out on the road, on a job or back again?" "Yep" Leon replies Sighing and controlling the thought of throttling him "which one Leon?"

Looking at his screen, he points to it, "finished a job, a moment ago?"

Putting on her headset "Josh come back to base, hope no one has plans for tonight, if you do, all need to cancel them now?" then turning to Leon "you too, it might be a long night?" Nodding he turns to Kerry "got to the cameras, they are mainly in the gaming room a few in the strong room, and tellers, and also the car park, the ones in southbank, are mainly facing the shops, a few are on the footpaths."

Looking at the screen "can you turn the ones in the city onto the bridges, and make all entries have cameras?" Looking at Kerry "its illegal?" Sighing at him and rolling her eyes "i'll walk away, where's Michael?" Pointing to the store room "working"

Hearing her name, she looks up in surprise as she sees Chris walking towards her. Walking towards Chris and moving away from the eyes of others, the last thing she wants it gossip about her or jumping to any conclusions. Out of sight "hey what are you going here?"

Smiling at the sight of her, "just wanted to let you know that Damian Stroud is out on bail" Looking at him "I know, how did it happen? you had to come here to tell me?" Kerry asks slightly amused.

Looking at her, he realises she doesn't realise the affect she has on him. "wanted to make sure you were ok, still?" Raising her eyebrows at him he then continues "also wanted to see if you wanted to go out for dinner tonight?"

Rubbing her tongue over her lips "to make sure im okay….. im working tonight got some job on?"

Trying to hide his disappointment, he thought they shared something. Seeing the look on his face, she wants to go out with him "what about some other time, actually I do have to eat, i'll meet you at Southbank, at 6.30ish" then seeing TR2 arrive back "have to go"

Walking back in the ops room, she sees the whole TR team there, after Lawson has briefed them, Kerry turns to them "the most important thing, is it is a huge public place, not hostages, care needs to be taken. The carpark is to be closed, and parts of Southbank are being closed off too, GD's will meet us there along with armed robbery. TR will make the arrest, preferably in the strong room, as soon as the money is taken, or in the carpark, nothing in the casino where they can take hostages"

Walking over to Lawson "i'll meet you there, later on, be on my mobile if need be" before walking out and driving off to Docklands..

Pulling up at the carpark in Docklands, she walks over to the pub. Walking into the pub she looks around for Damian, not even realising what she is doing. It isn't long before he walks up to her "so you came Kerry, what do you want"

Closing her eyes quickly "Looks like it, glass of wine". Walking over to a table she sits opposite him, sipping her wine, she waits for him to talk. After some small talk she turns to him "what do you want to tell me?" Smiling at him "that i want to go out to dinner with you"

Putting her glass down "I'm out of here, stop wasting my time, you told me you had some information" Laughing "no I said I had something to tell you, and I have"

Standing up and about to walk out, Damian gets up and grabs her arm. "Let go of me" she warns him "what are you going to do about it" Damian replies staring at her. Squeezing her arm tighter, she lifts her free hand and hits him across the face and brings up her knees "do it again, and i'll do more than that to you." she warns him loudly. Walking out of the bar, "shit".


	10. Chapter 10  Armed Robbery

Pulling up at Crown Casino a few minutes later, she shows the guy at the gate her badge before finding a park. Walking up she looks around, sighing, there are so many things that can go wrong tonight. Getting out her mobile, she quickly calls Lawson, to let him, know that she was there if he needed her. Walking into the restaurant, she sees Chris waiting for her, smiling at him as she walks over to him

Ordering their meal, Chris orders a beer, looking at Kerry to see what she wants. Her head tells her, that she has had one, and will be on duty later on that evening, but she hears herself saying "a wine please". Seeing Chris glance at her, she doesn't even think, one drink won't help and it's not like she will use her gun tonight.

Eating the meal together, the conversation flows and comes easily, looking across the table at him, she remembers a while ago when they started to get to know each other, it didn't start off too well. Seeing Kerry smile, Chris wonders what she is thinking, looking into her blue eyes he can't believe that he had to charge her "Forgot to tell you the charges against you have been dropped with Greg."

Looking at Chris, she wonders if that was the reason he asked her to dinner, glancing at him, she sees him staring at her. In a way she had forgotten all about that, with everything else that has happened. "Kerry, why did you do it, why risk your career like that. It was so...stupid?" Chris asks

"Stupid" she had been called many things takes more than that to offend her. "why arrest me. This is my son this is about Chris, this guy and others is keeping him in witness protection, what life is that for him"

Taking a long sip of her wine, she is unaware that she is being watched, until she hears :"Kerry what do you think you are doing?"

Knowing that voice anywhere since she hears it every day. She doesn't even glance up, rolling her eyes, and sighing "Lawson, what do you want?" in her no nonsense voice. Grabbing her arm, he pulls her away from the table. "Let go of me, Lawson, what do you think your doing, I've already been man handled today." Staring at Kerrys face, "i can ask you the same thing"

Chris watches in amusement, as Lawson grabs Kerry walking her out. IF rumour is correct in Drug Squad, Lawson is going out with Shannon, but watching Kerry and Lawson together the past few weeks, Lawson is fiercely protective of Kerry could it be more there too.

Outside the restuarant, Lawson lets Kerry go "What are you doing Kerry?"

Staring definatly at him "what do you reckon, having dinner, what are you doing out here?" Shaking his head "that's not what i mean?"

Rolling her eyes at him "why ask then?" "You call me a smart arse?" he replies slightly amused. Then serious "What on earth are you thinking having a drink, we are on duty here Kerry, don't you think TR has had enough bad publicity lately. You should know that better than anyone Kerry. Do you really need to add to it. Drinking Kerry, come one, you have been caught DUI once, and if you fire your gun tonight you will be tested."

Glaring at Lawson who has hit a nerve "Lawson I'm fine, go back to your team, and leave my alone" before walking off. Sighing before catching up to her "Kerry I know its rough and hard all of it, just think of your actions, and what TR means to you."

Turning to face him "No you don't Lawson, you don't have kid" before walking off, deep in thought. Lawson is right her actions could affect TR, but what is more important to her TR or her son.

Walking back into the restaurant, to Chris, she bends down to pick up her bag "thanks for dinner" Chris watches her start to walk out. Getting up off his chair "Kerry wait"

Turning around she doesn't want to hear his excuses "I'm sorry about before, there's still dessert?" Smiling at his attempt of an apology "bit early for dessert isn't it" seeing the look on his face she leans down and kisses him briefly "I'm sorry Chris, work" before whispering "lets do dinner or we can just do dessert another time"

Walking out of the restaurant smiling, she feels Chris's eyes on her, looking around for Lawson, seeing no one around, she gets out her phone, not getting the best response from him, she at least finds out where they are.

Walking up the elevator, she finds them at Sante, in the corner, with the restaurant closed, they set up the computer. Putting on her coms "Leon do you have access to all the cameras, are all the exits and entries covered and the strong room?"

Leon into his com "Kerry this is me your talking too, all cameras are on line. You should be getting the images?" Turning to Lawson "everyone in position?"

Rolling his eyes at Kerry this time "Wine gone to your head Kerry" Glaring back at him "stop being a smart arse Lawson?"

As hours pass by, Kerry leans back in the chair, looking at Lawson his eyes fixed on the screen "wonder if armed robbery got it all wrong, this is going to be a long night?"

"Got other plans hey Kerry, interrupting something, somewhere better to be?" Lawson asks amused "Not my idea of how to spend a night, not the only one though, but then Shannon is around" Kerry replies smiling as Lawson's body tenses.

Leon's voice comes through the coms "guys a car has pulled up at the front, two guys have got out, two more have entered via Southbank. The car is a subaru WRX, number plate Whiskey Delta, Charlie 22 Bravo. He is heading around the corner to Whiteman Street"

Lawson into his com "Christian, get to Whiteman street?" Christian into his com "copy that Lawson"

Looking at the screen with Kerry, they watch as they walk through the casino. Kerry into her com "Leon, can you find out who they are?" Watching as they walk confidently through the casino, they stop near the strong room, Kerry glances at Lawson she is sure these are the ones they are after. Watching as they enter the strong room, Lawson gets up to leave, watching the screen he hears Kerry "Oh shit"

Turning to Lawson "this is turning to shit, I'm going to be at headquarters for days. You did tell Armed Robbery to wait Lawson?"

Walking to the screen ignoring Kerry's question he shakes his head "Christian hold your position, keep the car in sight, but do not approach."

Rubbing her eyes she looks up at Lawson "your call?" "We wait, still until they get out of the strong room, too risky, the guy standing near the door, we need to get him out." Nodding "sounds good" Then into her com "Leon we need an ambulance, here, but tell them no sirens on approach." Lawson into his com "All units, do not approach, stand back, they have just shot someone in the strong room, do not approach the offenders until they are out of the casino"

Leon into his com "Already done Kerry, the silent alarm has also gone off, Christian has responded too it, and a call has gone out to all units silent approach." Kerry into her com "Thanks Leon, great work how many exits are there from crown casino?"

Looking at the screen "i think only 3 or 4 the main one, and i think only 2 out to Southbank

Walking to the escalators "I'll give you the call, to go down, once they are out and send the ambulance in" Smiling wryly "probably too late anyway, stupid idiot"

Lawson into his com "Shannon, Stella, and 3 uniforms go to front entrance, Josh, you and Elliot, go to the first entrance and make into Southbank, Michael, make sure that the outside is clear of people. I'll be on the south entrance Click when in position"

Back up the top, Kerry closes her eyes, there is so much that can go wrong, already one man has been shot, not liking the fact that Lawson is by himself. Kerry into her com "Everyone be careful, they have already shot one person, wait until they are out."

Watching the screen, then into her com "Okay, Lawson they are leaving the strong room now" Watching them stroll through the casino, like nothing has happened, She sees two security guards walking towards them. Getting up from her chair "oh shit" before running down the escalators

Kerry into her com running towards the security guards "Leon direct me to where the security guards are, I've come down from Sante restaurant entering the casino now" Looking at the screen "they are heading towards you now, should be a few metres away from you"

Seeing them coming towards her with purpose she walks up to them, flashing her badge, glancing at her badge they walk past her. Even though they are bigger than her, she grabs them by the arms "Not so fast, Inspector Vincent from Tactical Response, turn around and go back."

Looking at her they ignore her calling out to them "make one more move in that direction, i will have you both arrested for ignoring police orders, back off now"

Looking around she sees the one of the offenders walk past her and the other three walk out to Southbank whispering into her com "One offender is walking towards the front, the other 3 are going out to Southbank, exiting through the door past the cafe" .

Taking a deep breath she hopes the security guards back off, last thing they need is a shoot out in the casino and for her to draw her gun. Trying to appear casual she hopes he will walk past her, trying not to stare at him but gather some information on what he looks like she finds herself, staring into his eyes. Eyes that are hard as steel, no emotion there, a glint of evil in them. One of cockiness too, arrogant. She has seen many criminals in her time, but the few seconds of a glimpse at him, there is something about him. Before he turns away he glances at her looking at her up and down. As his eyes move back up, he sees the gun strapped to her thigh. Feeling his eyes bore onto her, he reaches for his gun taking aim. Taking a deep breath, Kerry glances at the security guards hoping they don't draw their guns firing randomly, the last thing she needs is anyone getting killed, but one glance her fears are confirmed

Watching the screen at base, Leon into his com "Lawson, one of the offenders is in the casino about 10 metres from the first southbank exit, he has pulled a gun on Kerry and two security guards?" Shaking his head, he mumbles to himself "Great" Into his com "Stel meet me inside. Shan stay at the entrance?"

Striding into the casino from the front entrance, he sees Kerry and the security guards. Seeing the guards raise their guns, he sees one of them fall, no sound is made, from the firing of the gun though.


	11. Chapter 11  The footage

Into his com "Kerry I'm coming up from behind" Stella quickly sees Lawson "Lawson I'm coming up behind you?"

Kerry watches at the security guard falls, to the ground, closing her eyes quickly, this is getting out of hand, hearing Lawson into his com, she sighs a bit in relief but it is far from over. Keeping her hand close to her hip, she doesn't draw her gun she doesn't want a firing match, and by the time she would get it, he would of shot her anyway.

Seeing Lawson approach, she tries to get his attention, seeing his gun raised, she watches as the other security guard falls. Watching the panic unfold before her eyes, she sees some people watching, whilst most quickly run away.

Hearing Lawson and Stella''s voice "Put your gun down" He sees him turn around, quickly pulling out her gun. As he takes aim, Lawson pulls the trigger on his gun.

Watching him fall to the ground, Kerry carefully walks over to him. Walking over, Stella aims her gun on him, covering Kerry whilst she sees if their is a pulse

Leaning down carefully, she reaches out, to feel if he has a pulse. With Stella's gun aimed on him and Lawson with the taser, he is still unpredictable. As she reaches for his neck, his hand comes up, grabbing her, even with a gunshot wound, to his chest, he is still strong. Feeling his hand reach out and close around her neck, she reaches up, to try to release his grip. Feeling it release she sees him fall back to the ground wriggilng around from the taser.

Turning to Stel "cuff him" Leaning down as he is wriggling "shut up, and roll over?" "Get lost pig" he calls out. Shaking her head "she rolls him over and cuffs him before draggin him back up. Leaning down she fees a faint pulse on one guard but nothing on the other.

Kerry into her com "Leon get the ambulance in now, one dead, one has a faint pulse" before turning to Lawson "what about armed rob in the strong room" "There gone Kerry" Lawson replies "

Hearing someone clap and yell out "way to go" Stella smiles before walking him out with Lawson close behind to hand him over to GD's and the ambulance.

Lawson into his com "Josh,one down, need Stella and I?" Turning to Kerry he shakes his head at her, looking at him she rolls her eyes not in the mood for a Lawson lecture. "Care to explain?" Shaking her head "Nothing to explain, i'll have to go to head office tomorrow, to explain, how 1 security guard is dead, and two members of armed rob shot" before walking back upstairs.

Hearing Josh's voice in the com, he turns to Stel "we're needed out at southbank" running out glancing up at Sante where Kerry is.

Walking downstairs a short time later, Kerry looks around, seeing two of them arrested and the other one taken away by ambulance with police guard, she sighs with relief, even with the guards wounded and dead and the officers, it could of been worse. Seeing the team around "great work guys, whose for one drink before heading back to base" as they walk up the escalators towards Sante she calls out "Michael" turning around he walks over to her "when I tell you, you can't come back, don't ever go behind my back again, it won't work out for you next time. Don't play me and Lawson against each other. Tomorrow your back at base or don't come to work" she warns before walking back upstairs to have a well earned drink. Walking up close to Michael, Stella turns to him "well I'm glad your back"

Walking back to her car a little while later, she gets her keys. Hearing the squeal of tyres, she turns around to see a car coming towards her. Quickly trying to get out of the way, walking through some spaces, she turns around to see the car heading towards her again. Into her com "Leon, send Lawson down to the carpark, i need a reg check Bravo Echo, Yankie 66 Bravo. Trying to get to her car, she goes between cars, turning around she sees the car heading towards her. With her car in the secure section of the carpark, she still has about 40 metres to get there.

Hearing sirens, she sees the car speed past her, to exit the car park. Looking at the car as it speeds past she sees his eyes, they look familiar to her but the look in it chills her to the bones, they are intent, and stare right back at her. Relieved she quickly goes to her car, into her com "Lawson where are you, its leaving now" as she gets in the car, sitting at the wheel trying to compose herself.

Following the car out of the car park she meets TR1 who has just arrived, "any sign of it" Then into her com "Leon which way did it go?" Looking at the screen "im going through the cameras now Kerry, last i saw it was heading south on ST Kilda Road" Shaking her head "you've lost them, do you have an address?" Kerry asks "Stolen, the car been dumped near the marina at St Kilda. Looks like he got in a boat" Lawson into his com "we'll go down there now"

Driving down to the marina, Kerry meets TR1 there going over to the car, seeing the detectives there, she walks over to them "Let me know what you find" before hopping in her car to drive back home, deep in thought. Walking cautiously up to the door, she walks inside locking the doors behind her.

Arriving at base the next day, she sees the running sheet bags on her desk. Looking at them, she debates whether to go through them or not. She knows that Lawson and Shannon would not write anything to implicate themselves, but even the slightest thing, how would they put the time down for the whole day, could she do it, could she ask either on of them to leave. Starting from the middle of the month she starts to go through it, she can't ask Michael for the specific day as she doesn't want anyone to know, especially Lawson. Glancing through each day, she finally comes to the day she wants reading through it all, it is as she suspects nothing out of the norm, even though there are gaps in the times that nothing seemed to have happened. But that day there were times that nothing happened.

Seeing Michael walk into the coms room she calls out to him, walking over to Kerry she stares at him "Lawson and Shannon, tell me about them" Seeing him trying not to squirm "I don't know what you mean Kerry" Staring at him in the eyes "Talk Michael, what do you know?" Shaking his head trying to walk away from her "I know nothing Kerry, you need to ask them"

Getting up from her seat "remember when I first came to TR Michael" seeing him nod slightly "do you remember what I said then, I rarely ask a question I don't expect an answer from, so I will ask again, Shannon and Lawson, how long and what do you know?"

Looking around anywhere but Kerry "You need to ask them Kerry, I can't tell you anything" as he walks backwards. Smiling at him "You've told me all I need to know Michael" then walking closer to him giving him a warning "and I don't want Lawson to know"

Having to know, she opens up the file on the computer, seeing the footage from each lapel camera, Opening it up, she rubs her hands through her head before resting her head on her hands and rubbing her eyes. Both of them are great police and an asset to TR, is she doing it out of jealousy. Shaking her thoughts away she opens the file, she needs to know, if anyone from HQ finds out, and she has no idea, it will look bad for not only her but the whole TR unit. Fast forwarding through the footage she pauses it and presses play as the TR car pulls up outside what she presumes is Shannons house, watching as they both walk inside, and meet up. Closing her eyes, she pauses it, knowing that if she continues she will might not like what she finds and will have to make a decision of two of her officers, one of who at times would love to go, but she will miss dearly and TR needs. Pressing play button, she watches at she sees Input Signal Lost on both cameras. Fast forwarding, she sees the cameras turned back on, as they walk back out to the car, looking at the time on the camera before it was turned off and after, she is left with no doubt that what Michael said was true. The question now is what to do. mumbling to herself "oh shit, bloody Lawson"

Sitting at her desk, she puts her head in her hands, hoping that she is wrong, rewinding the footage again, there is no doubt that something did happen, the amount of time the cameras were turned off then turned back on. Its times like these that she hates, and Lawson of all people.

Walking out to Leon "Lawson on a job?" Turning around "Do you always sneak up, yeah, he's out at St Kilda, something about chasing up something from last night"

Walking back to her desk she puts her head on her hands Lawson has been so supportive over all of this, helping her out and now this, can she turn a blind eye to this, it only happened once so far. Getting out her phone she dials a number, she doesn't want to speak to him over the coms. Answering the phone "Yeah Kerry" "Found anything new" before taking a deep breath "When you come back to base, need to speak to you" "Ok, will be back there soon anyway" Lawson replies before hanging up.

Hearing her name mentioned, she is glad of a distraction she looks up to see Chris talking to Leon "Kerry around?" Getting up she from her desk, she walks over to him "whats up?" Walking out of TR "i heard what happened last night, we need to get you somewhere safer than your house"

Raising her eyebrows at him "It didn't happen at my house though" Sighing at her "this time, its only a matter of time until it does. Kerry word is that they no longer want to just frighten you, your not safe by yourself" Looking at Chris "Stay at my house then?" Wanting to shake some sense into her "its not for ever, just until we find out whos behind it? Seeing the look on her face "We are getting there, we have men undercover, so its only a matter of time" Smiling at his concern "I'll think about it" Shaking his head "I'll come back and pick you up about 5, and take you there" Calling out after him "I can drive myself" Shaking his head "i'll come at 5"

Walking back to the coms room, she hears a car arriving, looking up she sees it is TR1 finished for the day, arriving back at base. Seeing Lawson get out of the car, she realises this is going to be one of the difficultest conversations she will ever have with him, waiting for him to get out of the car, to walk with her

Watching Lawson get out of the car and turn to his team she can't help but look at him, glancing at his lips she remembers back to a few years ago, not long after Grace had died they were sitting here at TR having a couple of drinks, when Lawson suggested dinner at the pub. Smiling remembering the night, they drove to the pub, and had a few drinks with their meal. Leaving the pub it was natural to share a taxi, but she never expected them to end up back at her place for the night, actually the next few nights, being Friday night, they were both off duty and nothing came up until Monday morning when he left. Never thought Lawson would look twice at her. She still remembers that night and the following few weeks, keeping it a secret from anyone, the texts that she received and sent. it would never have worked out between them, both being in the high positions of TR, it did hurt slightly ending it, but both agreed it was better that way, it was special but not meant to last. Closing her eyes, she still remembers Lawsons lips against hers.

Shaking her head trying to get the thoughts out, she opens her eyes, Lawson is still at TR1 along with Shannon. It wasn't that long ago, that they were arguing over who to have to join the squad he was so against Shannon joining, now she knows why, maybe she should of listened to him after all, instead of trying to get one up on him. But that is what their relationship is about, trying to outsmart and get one better of each other, a huge step of when they started off, it only took a few weeks for her to develop feelings for him, she never thought she was good enough for him.

Walking away from TR, towards Kerry, her back is away from him, she looks deep in though, debating whether to scare her, he decides to call out her name. Hearing her name, she is brought out of her thoughts. Looking up she see Lawson near by, he raises his eyebrows at her, not wanting to explain, well she never would any way she turns to him "Walk with me" before calling out '"Shannon, don't go anywhere, i need to see you too".

Following her, he is curious even more so that she wants to see Shannon too "Whats this about Kerry, where are we going?" Not even looking at him "show you something, believe me you will want to see it."

Shrugging hoping it is not what he thinks, since she wants to see Shannon too, she has made it clear, that she will not tolerate their relationship whilst he is Senior Sergeant, he follows her into her cublicle. Opening up her email, she turns to him "watch this, then i want an explanation". Sitting down on the seat, she watches the footage, but as soon as the lapel cameras come onto the screen, he closes his eyes, he doesn't need to see anymore to know what this is about.

Closing his eyes and reopening them, doesn't make the images go away, he doesn't need to watch the footage to know what is it about. The look on Kerry's face he hasn't seen that before, it is not as much mad which he can tell she is, but more disappointment in him. Seeing the footage of them walking near the bedroom and the cameras turned off, at least he remembered to turn them off.

Looking up he sees Kerry' looking at him expectantly, he doesn't have an answer for her it wasn't something he is proud of, his hormones just overtook him. "Im waiting" is all she said. "Mumbling softly "It will be a long wait then" before looking at her "what do you want me to say"

"The truth and what happened, as if i didn't know" between gritted teeth. The only thing he really wants to ask is how she found out, but not really that game, he can take Kerry on, but now really isn't the time.

Not even able to look at him in the face "you and Shannon, Lawson and whilst on duty, how am i going to explain that to HQ, or anyone, my Senior Sergeant, team leader, why Lawson why, did you think you would never get caught or found out"

Not having an answer, well not one that he could really explain to Kerry, seeing the look on her face, not really the time to argue with her either, all he could manage was "Im sorry, its not like you've never done anything stupid before" ready to let her anger boil over "not whilst i am in uniform and on duty, is that your reason/excuse"

Shaking his head, he sees her walking over to the door "Shannon"

Walking in, she sees Lawson, standing there with his head lowered, opening up the email, "I want an explanation" Kerry asks her before replays it for her, after watching it, she glances at Lawson. "don't look at him Shannon, your talking to me not him" Kerry replies trying to contain her anger.

Not getting anywhere with them she walks up closely to both of them, "nothing to say" Lawson shakes his head only one thing on his mind "whats going to happen, what are you going to do about it Kerry?" if the look on her face is anything to go by, what ever she is going to say isn't going to be good.


	12. Chapter 12  Suspension

Staring at them, more like glaring at Lawson, "this is what is going to happen, Shannon is not to ride in TR1 if you are in the car Lawson, she is to be in TR2 or TR1 if she is sergeant and your not here" Seeing Shannon about to object "if you don't like that Shannon, you can always get transferred out of TR, and not see Lawson at all during your shift"

Seeing her mouth close she continues on "if i see any displays of affection, kissing, holding hands or anything whilst on duty or in uniform or anywhere on the TR premises, you will be both out of here so fast, if your relationship affects your work at any time or your performance, then either one of you will be out of TR, lastly, if i find out this is not a one off, and it has happened before or after, then further disclpinary action will occur. I don't need to say that Lawson you are Senior Sergeant and Shannon a Sergeant now, i would of expected better from both of you"

Taking a deep breath to control her anger, especially at Lawson "Now get out, i don't want to see you face in my office or around TR anymore today." Mumbling to herself as Shannon walks out "suits me fine" "Shannon" Kerry calls out extra sweet "you do realise that in Lawson's contract that he is not to have a relationship with any member in the TR, count yourself lucky I'm even letting you continue it, now get out of here before i change my mind"

Seeing Lawson hang around "Lawson get out, your behaviour has disgusted me" yelling at him. Seeing the frustration, anger and disappointment in her eyes and face "I'm sorry Kerry, I'm not the only one who has done something whilst on duty, your had your fair share lately, pot calling the kettle black hey Kerry" Controlling her anger, as the truth of what Lawson says "Get out, before i change my mind, and ban your relationship

Watching Lawson walk out of her cubicle into the coms room, she hopes he isn't going to do what she suspects he will.

Walking up to Leon and Michael he lowers his voice glaring at Michael "How did Kerry find out, I never told her and Shannon either?" Trying to feign innocence Michael avoids Lawson's glare "Don't know what you mean about Kerry finding out what?" Looking around, and feeling like getting Michael by his shirt and doing something "Don't be a smart arse, you know exactly what I'm talking about"

Then turning to Leon "You sent the footage to Kerry, you should of told me?" Confused about what is going on "Lawson I have no idea what your talking about, Kerry asked for footage from all cameras for October"

Watching it all from her office, she storms over to Lawson yelling at him "Get away from my officers and don't let me see you hassling them again, get out of here now. I don't want to see you here at TR again today." walking over to Leon "Let me know if he annoys you again" Watching Lawson walk out of the coms room towards the lockers she rubs her hand through her head.

Walking back to her cubicle she picks up her bag, seeing Lawson leave TR, she then turns to Leon "I'm finished for the day"

Walking out to her car she sees Chris pull in "Forget I was coming" Nodding her head "yeah i did" then getting in her car "I'll follow you, I'm still keeping my car" Shaking his head "leave your car at your place, and i'll drop you off in the morning

Hopping in Chris's car after dropping her car off, Kerry closes her eyes briefly glad the day is almost over. Feeling the car stop she opens her eyes, looking around she smiles at Chris, "Not bad" getting out of the car they walk to the front desk to register. Seeing Chris walk away she whispers to the receptionist "Is there a mini bar in the room" Nodding "yes Ms Vincent every room has a mini bar in it" "Could you please get it taken out, anything with alchohol in it, including chocolates before i get up."

Walking back to Chris, she smiles, she doesn't want Chris to see her drinking, or know anything about her past just yet. Walking into the room, she puts her bag down, looking around the room is nice and spacious, pulling back the curtains, she admires the view, over looking ST Kilda Beach and the bay. Turning to Chris "Not bad, could get used to this"

Walking over to the lounge she flops down, before looking at Chris "all my clothes are back at my place" Rolling his eyes at her "Kerry" before getting his car keys for the drive back to her place.

Arriving at her place, Chris gets out first looking around ensuring the place is safe, he opens the door for her. Walking inside she goes upstairs. Throwing off her shoes, and taking off her work clothes, she looks around, this is home, despite the lovely hotel room. Sitting on the bed, she looks around, bending down she reaches around and finds the containers hidden under her bed, putting them in her bag.

Wondering what is taking her so long, how long does it take to throw some clothes in a bag, Chris walks upstairs, entering her room, he stands at the door briefly, seeing her with not much on. Not being able to resist, he walks over to her as she turns around. Staring into his eyes, his lips find hers before wrapping his arms around her drawing her closer to him, as he kisses her softly and gently.

Hearing his alarm on his watch and phone go off, Chris slowly opens his eyes his arms are draped around Kerry her body close to. Kissing her on the top of the head, he tries to pull his arm out from underneath her without disturbing or waking her up. Watching her stir as she feels him moving, she turns around. Getting dressed he walks over to her, leaning down kissing her passionately on the lips, cursing HQ for getting him up so early. Seeing her eyes open and looking around and trying to focus, memories of the night before flooding back before looking at him "I have to go to HQ"

"this early" waking up slightly

Nodding "Have to meet IA and ESD" seeing the curiousity on her face "I have no idea what's it about, you know what they are like, secret keeping stuff to themselves, only got told to be there." Leaning back down to kiss her "I'll see you tonight if you want, at St Kilda" "mmm that would be nice" before rolling over to get a bit more sleep, she needs it to get through the day, especially since there was a lack of it last night.

Arriving at HQ, Chris walks up to Internal Affairs, looking around, there are a few people there. When all have arrived, they are given a briefing, listening in. Nothing new, except why they need officers from drug squad, continuing to listen, to find out why. Not giving away where they are going, he follows them out to the cars, hopping in one of the cars, he wonders where they are going, as IA is involved some member of the police force and corruption he hates those officers, give the rest of them bad name.

Even though it is early morning, the sun is up. Driving along, he is curious as to where they are going, looking out the window, the scenery looks familar "oh shit, no, there has to be some mistake" thinking to himself. Pulling up at the very familiar address and house, he stays in the car. As the other officers get out, they turn around looking at him. His feet can't move looking at them "the raid is at Insepctor Kerry's Vincent house?" Looking at him "yes you know her, and also Senior Sergeant Lawson Blake"

Seeing the officer look at him, "I know her, dealt with her and her son last year." he didn't want to say anymore how close they had become, wondering if he did, he would be off the case, would that be a good or bad thing. Following the others up to the front door all he wanted was to stay in the car, how would he explain this to Kerry.

After what seemed like forever after they knocked on the door, it opened, he was beginning to think they would break down her door. Hearing her call out and open it slightly, they walked inside, seeing her bewildered face looking at them all, hoping he could sneak in, no such luck, the look on her face when she saw him, was shock, but he didn't miss the hurt and betrayal behind the mask.

Hearing a noise, that is getting louder and louder, she gets out of bed, quickly putting something one, she walks down the stairs, glancing at her intercom, before walking to the front door, opening it slightly she sees Inspector Cox, along with others opening the door, she sees them walk in "Inspector Kerry Vincent " one of them asks "Yeah who are you, I know who he is, what is this about" Im Inspector Davis from Internal Affairs," he replies. Glaring at them, this isn't good, "whats this about" "WE have a warrant to search your house" before turning to the others. Looking confused "what are you meant to find " she asks "You tell me" he answers her before walking towards the kitchen

Watching them walk in, she sees the last of them, closing her eyes and opening them, she has to be mistaken, but there is no mistake there he is Detective Chris Finch, trying to hide her shock, did he know, how could he, furious with herself, but more with him, she turns her back on him, watching them search her house. Seeing her bewildered face looking at them all, hoping he could sneak in, no such luck, the look on her face when she saw him, was shock, but he didn't miss the hurt and betrayal behind the mask.

Walking upstairs, his job was to look around the bedroom, he saw the bed wasn't made and and her clothes still where she left them last night. He didn't want to go through all her things. Opening her wardrobe, he starts going through her things. After a few minutes he goes and sits on the bed, deep in though, he can't do this, he can't do this to her, the look on her face said it all, he didn't want to lose her, even though he probably already had now. Walking into the spare room, he looks around, opening the wardrobe he can't do this. Closing the wardrobe door, he comes to the decision to tell them, slamming it shut, a package falls out onto the floor, he instantly knows what it is "Oh shit Kerry" can he do it, can he hand it to ESD, if he does it could mean the end of her career.

Hearing footsteps coming up the stairs, he quickly pushes it under the bed. Turning around he hopes his face doesn't show anything. "Have you looked in the main bedroom yet?" the guy asks "Briefly, still going in here." Sighing in relief as the guy moves to Kerry's bedroom, looking under the bed, he pulls out the package and lifting up the mattress puts it underneath.

Hearing her phone ring, she goes over to her bag getting it out, she sees the base number, after speaking to Leon. She hangs up, as soon as the phone is answered "Shannon, why aren't you at base" not waiting for an answer "If your not there within 20 minutes, then don't bother turning up today or any other day" before hanging up and quickly dialling another answer "Lawson" before she has a chance to say anything else "Can't talk Kerry"

"Lawson, don't you dare hang up, i gather you have IA and ESD there too, I know Shannon is there, if she isn't at work in 20 minutes then she doesn't have a job." Pulling the phone away from his ear, he can still hear her yell into the phone about stop being a bloody smart arse. Hearing her words of "if she isn't at TR in 20 minutes or she is out" "Why would i know where Shannon is, look Kerry i have to go" Lawson replies "Just get her to work" before she hangs up the phone then goes dead. Speaking to the dial tone "yeah im good too Kerry love my house being searched."

Facing Shannon, "you need to get to TR," Nodding as she walks upstairs "just need to get changed first" Walking over to the bench he goes to picks up his keys, yelling up to her "Take my car" One of the officers walk over to him "no, we need to search your car"

Glaring at them "how much longer are you going to be here, I need to get to work." Inspector Miller "as long as it takes and we need"

Pacing around his lounge, Shannon walks down the stairs "you might need a cab, they are searching the car" Reaching out and holding his hand "you've done nothing wrong, they will realise that, i'll call a cab" before walking over to kiss him.

Watching Shannon leave, he is slightly relieved, he doesn't want her caught up in all of this. Pacing the lounge room he sees Detective Baker walk back in, with something in his hand, a small package, handing it to Inspector Davidson who walks up to him "know where this came from?" Shaking his head, "No, never seen it before, what is it?" "Heroine, It was found in your car?" he has a good idea, Kerry. Hearing what came next he wasn't surprised as he followed them out to the car to ESD

Putting her phone back in her bag, she sees one of them, go over and empty her bag on the bench. Shaking her head and rolling her eyes, she is getting fed up with it all.

Looking around he feels sorry for her, the look on her face behind it all. Hearing them call out upstairs, she holds her breath, she knows what is up there. Watching Chris come down, she turns away from him, looking everywhere but at him. Seeing one of them walking downstairs, holding her gun and the bag wither her money, as another one holds a bag. Closing her eyes and biting her lips, she knows what is about to come "Inspector Vincent, lets go, we need you to come with us." following them out to the car she hops in the back seat, with Chris and Inspector Cox next to her. Biting her lip, she stares straight ahead, can she get out of this mess, like she did last time, at least they didn't find everything she had there. Walking down stairs a while later, he hears yelling, walking into the room he sees Kerry on the phone. Seeing Inspector Cox walk over to him "found nothing up in the spare room" Seeing Kerry glance his way, in confusion

Feeling Chris's hand reach out to squeeze hers, she pulls her hand away, Glaring at him, she turns away, for the drive to ESD and IA. Walking out a while later, he hops in the car to drive back to HQ.

Arriving at ESD and walking into the room, she takes a chair "going to tell me what this is all about, the serach warrant, what you expected to find?"

Inspector Davies "corruption, drugs, money, everything we found at your house Inspector Vincent We have had several drug houses and drug dealers under surveillance, we have seen you several times at the houses and buying drugs off them." Placing photos on the table, she looks at them, they are the same ones that Chris showed her a while ago "I was seeing an informant"

Placing more photos, of drugs exchanging hands "and here too, we are aware that your son has an addiction. There is a huge drug ring, that we are cracking, importing, exporting drugs. We think you are involved in it" Biting her lips, this is worse than she hoped for, she was able to talk her way out of it last time, but the photos were pretty bad.

AFter a couple of hours interogation, she looks up at them "what happens now", is her career in TR over, she will fight if it is.

"Unfortunately we do not have enough evidence at the moment, but we will be in contact with you again and shortly, Inspector, so do not leave the country" Inspector Cox says looking at her .Giving a short bitter laugh "wasn't planning on it, yet, you going to keep my money too, not much there, for drug money?" before walking out of HQ and calling a taxi,

Walking out to the fresh air a few hours later from being interrograted by ESD IA, he waits for his taxi to take him back to TR, Walking around he wants to punch something, so many things they mentioned were from the past, his drug years are well and truly behind him hes been clean for about 16 years now, it was his youth a mistake now his past.

Arriving at base, he storms into the coms room "Is Kerry around?" Leon looks at his angry expresion "Not yet, haven't heard from her since this morning. IA and ESD were here, raided the locker room and Kerry's office, downloaded stuff from her computer, even Josh couldn't stop them"

"Did they find anything?" Lawson asks, still pissed of "Don't know, why would they tell me" Leon asks as Lawson walks away calling out "Get TR1 back to base" .

Walking into the locker room he sits down on the bench, looking around he sees the lockers pretty much stuff in them, opening his up, it is clear it has been gone through thoroughly but nothing seems missing.

Seeing TR1 arrive back to base, Shannon gets out of the passenger seat, looking at Lawson's face she wants to ask him what happened, to draw him towards her. Hopping in the passenger seat he sees Stella looking at him "Just drive Stella"

Hearing a door slam, and footsteps storming into base, Leon doesn't even need to turn around to know who has arrived. Turning around "Good afternoon Kerry" seeing the look on her face "nothing good about it Leon, where's Lawson?" Pointing to the screen, went out maybe an hour ago. "Shannon turn up?" she asks. Looking to Kerry "Yeah and now Lawson too"

Walking into her office she notices that everything is out of place, opening her drawers, her bottle of wine is gone, hearing Leon call out "Kerry, there is a 000 call, from I think Damian Stroud's house" walking out "what's it about" Shaking his head "neighbour called it in, could be a break and

Hearing a call come through the coms "Leon we'll take that, is that the house of Damian Stroud" "Affirmative Lawson, Kerry has just arrived back at base too, she'll meet you out there" Seeing the look on Lawson's face at the mention of Kerry Stella wonders what on earth is going on, one look at Lawson, warns her not to ask

Walking out towards the communication room she turns around when she hears her name "Inspector Kerry Vincent" closing her eyes whispering to herself "oh shit" before turning to them "yeah what do you want" Not really wanting to know the answer "we need to speak to you and Senior Sergeant Lawson Blake" turning to Leon "Get Lawson back here" taking a deep breath she hopes that her feeling about his are wrong.

Getting out her phone she calls Lawson "Lawson, get Shannon to drop you off at base." "Damians dead Kerry, shot, his little girl is here, Shannon is going to her mum's house now" Closing her eyes briefly "Just get back to base Lawson"

Arriving back at TR a short time later, Kerry meets him as they walk to a room. Once inside the Inspector turns to Kerry and Lawson, "Inspector Kerry Vincent, and Senior Sergeant Lawson Blake, you are both suspened from active duty as of now until further notice." Closing her eyes, she doesn't even look at Lawson even though she can feel his glare as the Inspector continues "you will both be escorted off the premiese, and will not allowed to be back on or near the base until your suspension is over. Do you both understand?


	13. Chapter 13  Finding comfort

Finding comfort

Walking out of the base towards his car, he sits in the drivers seat, thumping the wheel, suspended, the words keep spinning around in his head. He had always gone by the rules, well mostly, he never thought this would happen. Driving away from TR, glancing over his shoulder he wonders if this is the last he would see of the place.

Pulling in at the pub a few minutes later, doesn't take long to drink the first beer, feeling the brown liquid going down this throat, it isn't long before he ordrs another. Hearing his phone ring again, he sees the number Josh, answering it, he really doesn't want to talk about it or get TR involved, turning his phone to silent, ignoring the numerous messages from Shannon.

Stumbling out of the pub a while later, he looks around, no idea where he is going, not wanting to go home, definitely not to Shannon's, hearing his phone ring again, looking down to see Shannon calling him, letting it go to voice mail, feeling slightly guilty, but in no mood to speak to her, especially after some of her messages.

Having no idea where he is going, feeling the cool crisp evening air, walking along, finding himself at Yarra River, crossing th bridge into Southbank, looking up at the building, was it really only last night TR was at the casino, is he about to lose all of that.

Looking up a short while later, he is at the tram stop, seeing the tram come with St Kilda on it, without even thinking he hops on it,. As it rattles along, what is he doing, why is he going to St Kilda, Deep down he knows the answer as wrong as it is, looking at his phone, he just can't bring himself to ring Shannon or go home, her anger and hatred towards Kerry he can't deal with that. Looking out the window, he tries to block everything out.

Walking out of TR, the only option is to call a taxi, after going back to her own place, didn't seem the best option, especially when she had no gun or back up or Lawson. Sending a quick text to Chris, she doesn't want to see him, but going back to St Kilda seems the only option.

Hearing her phone beep, she looks down to see a message back from Chris, at least she has a place to go, hailing a taxi, she goes back to her place, needing some clothes, funny yesterday that was meant to happen.. Getting the taxi to wait, she quickly throws things into a bag, everything she needs. Making sure the place is locked and secure, she heads back to the taxi.

Arriving back at St Kilda, she quickly throws her things into the room, before walking back down to the bar, stopping at reception, to get her mini bar refilled. Walking into the bar, she sits at the bar, quickly drinking each drink. As she gets the refill, the barmaid looks at her "Slow down hey honey?" Glaring at her 'Just fill up my glass?" "I can only serve you a few more?"

Walking away to a table, she glances at the door, seeing Chris there staring at her, turning her back to him, she sits down, in no mood to talk to him, if she is honest with herself, looking at him, actually hurts, the betrayal she feels by him, after the night they spend together, was that all for show.

Not even needing to look up she knows Chris is at her table "What do you want?"

Seeing him about to sit down "You have 2 minutes?" Looking into her eyes "I'm sorry Kerry, I honestly didn't know anything about this morning, I tried to get out of it, but I didn't even know where we were going until we turned into your street. You know what IA are like. I hated what they did to you"

Looking up into his face "Is that all? Do you believe them, what ever they believe they are after?" Looking into her blue eyes, he doesn't want to believe it ""No…but they did find stuff there"

Pointing to the door "Leave Chris, I'll be out of here tomorrow, now *** off." Getting up out of his seat "Stay here, as long as you need Kerry, your safe here" then as he walks out "Check the mattress in the spare room, you will find something there"

Watching him walk out, she realises what he is saying, as pissed off as he is with him, she will have to speak to him.

Finishing off her drink, she walks back up to the bar, "gin and tonic" looking at her, the bar maid gives her another drink. Walking back to the table what is she doing, turning to the one thing that gives her comfort all the time. Feeling someone looking at her, she is ready to give Chris a piece of her mind turning around she is surprised who is staring at her

Standing at the doorway, he sees Kerry look at him in surprise, after the way he treated her today he isn't surprised. His feet seemed glue to the spot, he can't seem to go inside the bar or anything. Taking a deep breath he finds himself turning around and walking out of the hotel. Standing out the front, he glances back towards the entry, he finds himself walking back towards the bar. Walking up to the bar ordering 3 shots wine, and a beer, sculling the first shot, he walks over to the table putting down the shots and the drinks. Holding up the shot of Tequilla, he throws it back, seeing Kerry doing the same.

Glancing at Lawson in surprise, after the way he treated her today she never expected him to turn up here "What are you doing here?" Looking into Kerry's eyes, he can see the toll its taking. "I don't know...i had to come...I'm sorry Kerry, it was a surprise and not a nice one"

Giving a short laugh "i know, where's Shannon" Feeling a pang of guilt about his girlfriend "don't know, where's Chris"

Raising her eyebrows in surprise at his answer "don't care". Giving a half smile at Lawson before sipping her drink.

Watching her sip her wine deep in thought "what's happening Kerry, what's going on?" Shrugging she really has no idea what she is doing now. "I never meant you to get involved in it all, or TR." "I want to help...but" Finishing off her drink "I don't need your or anyones help Lawson" getting up and walking out.

Walking out of the hotel, towards the foyer, she walks outside breathing in the cold night air. Leaning against the pole, she takes a deep breath, what is hapenning to her, why is this all happening. Trying to be strong, even the alcohol isn't helping.

Watching her walk out, she is so stubborn but she isn't at tough as she thinks. Finishing off his drink he walks out of th hotel, seeing er standing near the entrance, looking out over the water. Wanting to wrap his arms around her and draw her close to him, to try to help her forget everything.

Staring out at the ocean, Kerry feels a hand reaching out for hers, holding her hand. Turning around, she sees Lawson's eyes full of care and concern. Seeing the look on Kerry's face, he draws her towards him, wanting to protect her, with his arms wrapped around her, they enter the hotel catching the lift back up to her room.

Catching the lift up to Kerry's room, she loves the feel of Lawson's arms around her body, but ends up pulling away from him. Having his hand close on her body is driving her crazy. Opening up the door to her room she looks around, glad that Chris isn't here.

Walking over and opening the fridge she takes the spirits out, showing the bottle to Lawson who nods, she puts some in a glass for him and another glass for her. Walking over to the lounge she sits next to Lawson curling her feet under her. Not looking at Lawson but staring straight ahead "There are times when i wish that James had never come back, that he had stayed in America. My own son 'im wishing that on. Why did he come back, what happened over there, why did he do it?"

Reaching out for her hand he had negotiated so many times but with people he didn't know, he had no answers for Kerry, but he doubts that is what she is after. "after everything he has put you through, i think it is normal for anyone who has been through what he has put you through to feel that way, it doesn't make you a bad mother or anything." He hates seeing Kerry so vunerable, the only other time he has seen her cry or like this was after Grace's death, he knows she hates people seeing her like that.

Giving Lawson a half smile, she gets up, pouring herself and Lawson another drink, bringing the bottles of wine over. Finishing off the bottles she leans back against the lounge. Her thoughts go back to James and the previous months, "I love James he is my son, but i didn't think i might never see TR again," then looking into Lawson's eyes "Or you"

Turning away from Lawson, if she looks into his eyes much longer, shaking her head to get her feelings out of her head wanting to stand up but her body isn't responding. Feeling Lawson's gaze upon her, she turns to head around, "you are a wonderful and beautiful person" he slurs, as he leans towards her, his lips meeting hers, as he wraps his arms around her pulling her towards him.

Wrapping her arms around Lawson she responds to his kissing, feeling his lips against hers. His hands moving around her body, she feels him to start to undo her shirt. Her hands moving to the front of him, undoing his shirt also. Taking a deep breath, she moves her mouth away, looking into his georgeous brown eyes, some part of her is telling her it is wrong, the amount she has drunk she is finding it hard to pull away.

Feeling Kerry pulling away from him he sees her staring into his eyes. seeing confusion in them. Closing his eyes it hits him slightly what he has done and was about to do. Pulling his arms away from Kerry, he starts to get up off the lounge buttoning up his shirt. Walking towards the door, he turns around seeing Kerry staring at him, this time the confusion has gone, replaced by sadness and a longing.

Walking out the door, he leans against it, what is he doing, through all the alcohol he has drunk that night, his head is telling him to continue and walk to the lift and back home, but another part of him, can't get the look of Kerry out of his head.

Watching Lawson get up, and walking out of the room, she leans forward placing her head on her hand, what was she about to do, part of her wants Lawson to walk back in that door.

Hearing a knock on door, and the door opening, she looks up in surprise to see Lawson standing there, "I don't know what I'm doing Kerry", getting up off the couch, "either do I" as he walks over to her, pulling her towards him, he leans down towards her, kissing her gently on the lips, feeling her arms wrap around his neck, he picks her up carrying her into the bedroom. Lying her on the bed they begin to make love all night.

Waking up the following morning, Kerry looks around her head pounding, feeling Lawson inside of her his arms underneath her. Turning around Lawson finds Kerry's lips, kissing them his eyes open in surprise, looking around where is her, this isn't his house or Shannons. His eyes opening he finds them staring into the bluest of eyes, he knows those eyes anywhere. Kerry, rolling over, he realises what happened the night before. The guilt displayed in both of there eyes, Getting out of bed, Kerry walks over to the bathroom, standing at the door with a towel wrapped around her, her blue eyes portraying guilt and confusion

Turning the shower on, Kerry leans against the wall, banging it in frustration, her head is hurting, and she looks like crap. Closing her eyes, she tries to remember back to last night, all she can remember is walking into the bar, seeing Chris and Lawson coming in.

Walking to the door, Lawson glances around the room, part of him is tempted to stay, even after what happened last night, knowing Kerry she will just turn to alcohol again. Opening the door he knows if he stays there is no backing out, and if he leaves he actually has to think. Looking around, he is sobering up, knowing what a mistake it is, Kerry is his boss, it can't happen again.

Walking out onto the street he hears his phone beeping, getting it out, he sees missed calls from Shannon along with text messages. Walking over to St Kilda Beach, looking over to the city. Staring out, he hears his phone ringing, looking down, he sees caller ID as Shannon, knowing how worried she would of been, "Hi Shan" Hanging up a few minutes later, he walks over to the jetty, sitting down, putting his head on his hands all he feels is guilt, why did he let it happen, how could he do that to Shannon.

Walking out of the bathroom, over to the bed, looking around, she sees empty wine bottles, beer and small spirit bottles. Getting up off the bed, she knows what she has to do, she should of done it all along. Exiting the hotel she walks over to the beach, walking to the jetty she needs to clear her head before heading to HQ. Walking out onto the jetty, she comes to the end, looking up she sees Lawson there, with his head in his hand.


	14. Chapter 14  the night of Leon's life

Standing at the end of the wharf, Kerry looks around, seeing Lawson look up at her, she walks over sitting down next to him, seeing the phone open in his hand "Shannon" more of a statement than a question. She doubts Lawson would tell Shannon about what ever happened, if he did, no doubt work would be awkward to say the least.

Staring out over the bay, she glances at Lawson, "I'm off to HQ shortly, this is my shit that is happening, not yours, TR needs one of us"

Turning to look at Kerry "no, your in enough shit as it is Kerry, let me sort this out, if you admit they are yours, that could be your career, Josh can handle TR"

Smiling wryly, "i think it is my career, I'm not giving up, TR is mine, I'm not leaving it. "

Touching her hand, he quickly pulls it away, feeling something there "they can't prove its mine or yours" Wishing she had as much optimism and Lawson "fingerprints, mine" Turning around to face her "AS slow as IA and ESD is, they will figure it out, eventually."

Wanting to know one thing "why IA and ESD think your involved?" "Wrong place wrong time again, i bought drugs, for Greg to get him to talk, the dealer was under investigation, i walked right into it, again. I know they'd taken photos, Chris showed them to me a while ago. Strike 2"

Getting up off the seat, Kerry turns to Lawson smiling at him "Just promise me, you won't let my shit destroy you," 'AS long as you give up trying to find all of this out, and leave it to drug squad"

Looking at Lawson in the face, she shakes her head. Leaning over she kisses him on the cheek "thanks" before walking off, if she was at work, things could be awkward and difficult, but at the moment she is grateful he is there for her.

Working out in the gym after coming back, from the wharf, taking her frustration out on the treadmill and bike. Getting off them, walking back to her room, she passes the bar, looking in, it is so easy, to walk inside and just have a drink.

Walking into her room, looking around, the housekeepers hadn't come yet, the empty bottles still there, running her hand through her hair, whats happening, to her. Hearing a knock on the door, she opens it, finding Chris standing there. Leaving the door open, he follows her in. Sitting on the bed she waits for him to speak.

Seeing him look around, the room he says nothing seeing all the empty bottles. Walking over to be near her "Ive just come from ESD and drug squad, Lawson as of tomorrow is back in TR" seeing Kerry close her eyes "I'm sorry Kerry, they are keeping your suspension in place, they think they have found enough at your place to investigate further." Seeing her biting her lip he wishes he had better news for her, looking at her and the empty bottles, he has no doubt they she had a huge night.

Seeing her look up with her blue eyes, all he wants to do is take her in his arms "If that is all the door is there" Sitting down on the edge of the couch, keeping his distance from her "I'm sorry Kerry, I'm trying to help you here," Giving a short dry laugh "wonder what not helping is then?" as she stands up. Knowing he deserved what came from her, he just hopes that soon she will understand that he didn't want to be involved in it.

Looking around the room better, the amount of bottles he wonder if she was by herself. Seeing Chris looking around the room, her eyes dart around, why doe she feel guilty it isn't like they were going out, not yet.

Looking around his eyes set on the bed, with it not made, and the sheets everywhere, he wonders who spent the night with her. Seeing Chris look at the bed and back to her, there is no mistaking there is hurt in his eyes, walking over to the bed and sitting down her arms folded across her chest, daring him to ask her. Looking around the bed, she sees a condom in the sheets, relief at least they did something right. Not wanting Chris to see it she tries to pull the sheets up.

Looking up she sees Chris's eyes upon hers "I'm not stupid Kerry, was it some random guy you bought back here, and here I was thinking we had something special" "Glaring at him "so did I guess we were both wrong" Wondering who it was, "who was he Kerry?" Seeing her look at him the hurt and guilt showing in her blue eyes, getting no response "was it Lawson?" Her face now blank showing no emotion, she points to the door 'the door is that way, now get out"

Walking out of the room, he wants to turn around, he wants to stay and hold her, tell her he still wants her. Closing the door behind him, he leans against it, hearing things thrown, takes all his self control not to walk back in and wrap his arms around her, knowing he is the last person, she wants to see. She needs someone, someone she wouldn't sleep with, getting out his phone he makes a call.

Watching Chris walk out the door, the guilt of the night before, and the hurt of seeing Chris, and the fact that she is still suspended. Picking up an empty beer can, she throws it across the room, opening the fridge, seeing nothing in there, she slams it shut, walking out the door, down to the bar. Sitting at the bar, she looks at the barman, thankful it is a different one "Keep the drinks coming?"

Leaving the TR base, Leon makes his way to St Kilda. Walking into the bar, he looks around, seeing Kerry on the barstool, sipping on her drink. He was hoping Chris was wrong when he called him a while ago, but knowing how Kerry dealt with the death of the cyclist, he wasn't surprised.

Walking up to the counter, "a beer" before turning to Kerry "what are you drinking" Looking up Leon in surprise "what are you doing here" "Keeping an eye on you, your designated driver" Leon replies

"i don't need a driver considering this is my home or anyone watching out for me" Kerry replies glaring at Leon.

Used to his moods and outbursts "yes you do and I'm staying, so get used to it, remember what happened last time Kerry" Looking at Leon slightly confused "your bright idea of a tattoo" Trying not to smile at Leons caring nature she just nods "your buying the drinks, I like tattoos"

Stumbling out of the bar a few hours later, Kerry turns to Leon slurring "Lets head into ST Kilda or the city" "Why not just stay here, call it a night" Leon asks, knowing the answer

"You can, but I'm going out?" Kerry replies firmly, knowing he can't talk her out of it as tired as he is, he agrees to go with her. Wanting to call Lawson to help him, but remembering last time, when he called her and he wouldn't help he knew he was by himself.

Following Kerry into ST Kilda and the pubs, he tries not to drink the shots she gets him, trying to keep sober enough to help her was proving hard, when she kept buying him drinks. Walking out as the last pub closed In the early hours of the morning, Kerry seemed ready to pass out, helping her back to the hotel, was hard with her stumbling along "I have a great idea Leon, I want another tattoo" Rolling his eyes "tomorrow Kerry, I'll take you tomorrow"

Walking into the hotel, "Kerry what's your room number " not remembering she gets out her swipe card, giving it to Leon. Walking her into the room, he helps her over to the bed. Lying her down, he takes her shoes off. Sitting up on the bed, she stumbles to the bar fridge, opening it, she pours herself and Leon a scotch before sculling it.

Watching Kerry, Leon feels helpless, walking over to her "Kerry i think your had enough" Trying to help her over to her bed, he feels Kerry wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling his head down to hers, she kisses him hard on the lips,

Feeling Kerry's arms wrap around him and the feel of her lips against his, he knows he should pull away but this is what he's wanted for a long time he had tried to hide his feelings, but Kerry is his boss. Starting to pull away from her, she is making it hard, feeling her hands move down his back. Moving his face away from hers "Kerry, i don't think you really should do this"

Leaning back in "Oh shut up Leon, this will be the night of your life" before kissing him again.

Finding it hard to resist her, this is what he has wanted for so long, even turning up on her front door for her birthday, they had a few drinks and that was it. Closing his eyes, he feels her hands moving down and undoing his pants, "ohh" he whispers to himself. Part of him knows it is wrong, but a voice telling him, come morning Kerry won't remember anything about this night, like last time.

Moving her hands around Leon, she starts to walk over to the bed, still kissing him she puts him down on the bed. Giving into her, Leon responds to her kisses. Fumbling around in his pocket he pulls out a condom, putting it on he gives in, as he wraps his arms back around Kerry, "Show me the night of my life"

As he feels Kerry on top of him he starts to groan, he knows there is no turning back, now, will things be the same between them.

Waking up before dawn has broken, Leon sits on the edge of the bed, looking at Kerry sleeping "oohh" shaking his head, getting up quietly out of the bed, picking up his clothes off the bed, he tries to be as quiet as he can, without waking up Kerry.

Picking up his pillow he quickly gets dressed before creeping over to the lounge, getting a blanket, he tries to get some sleep.

Waking up, later on, Leon looks around, making sure there is nothing that indicated what happened. Seeing the condom on the floor he quickly picks it up, putting it in his bag.

Waking up, Kerry looks around, her head hurting again but hearing a noise. Sitting up in bed, she brings the sheets up looking next to her, there is no one, but looking around she sees Leon "oh shit oh god oh god oh shit" she keeps on saying.

Walking over close to the bed, Leon knew she have this reaction the same as last time. "Kerry nothing happened, we went out, you got drunk, you practically passed out, and i brought you back to the hotel. Nothing happened Kerry" Looking at Leon, she wonders if he is telling the truth, how come she has no clothes on then, oh shit what happened.

Pointing to the couch "I slept there, was too late to go home, and I was worried about you." then walking over to get his bag "I have to get to work"

Seeing Leon looking at her "what Leon?" shaking his head "Nothing, are you going to be ok, nothing happened Kerry" then crossing his fingers "I promise?". Walking out of the room, with a spring in his step, he couldn't believe the night he just had and with Kerry, she got one thing right, it was the night of his life, pity he doubts it would ever happen again.

Getting up a while later, and logging onto her computer, at least this wasn't taken by ESD, opening up the files, she looks at the names she has put together and the ones that she got yesterday. Grabbing her car keys she catches the lift down to the lobby.

Arriving at TR a short time later, she walks in looking around, man she misses this place, she has given up so much of her life to be here. Seeing Leon turn around in surprise "what are you doing here" Ignoring his question as she walks into her cubicle, gathering some information she puts it in her car, before walking back in again and getting her key turning to face him "You never saw me here."

Walking back towards her car she hears her name "Inspector Vincent?" Looking up seeing two men in suits getting used to this "yeah, who are you?" Detectives Baker and Hasham from homicide" Looking up at them surprise "homicide, whats this about?" "Inspector Vincent, we are arresting you for the murder of Damian Stroud?" Looking around her mouth wide open she follows them to the car


	15. Chapter 15  Loosing Control

Arriving at homicide a short while later, Kerry looks around, after hours of questioning, her finger prints taken. Being led out she hears her name called turning around she sees Lawson there. Walking towards her, he has a quick word to the officers facing her "what's this about Kerry, we'll get you the best lawyer" Trying to hide her emotions on her face "Just look after TR for me Lawson, I'll be fine"

Touching her softly on the arm "Talk to me Kerry, let me help you"

Looking up at him "you can't help me Lawson"

Watching her being lead away Lawson looks around, this is so wrong, feeling so helpless, why isn't she fighting this, he knows Kerry couldn't kill anyone any more than he could, despite what she is going through. Finding the detectives, Lawson walks over, after speaking to them he lets out a deep sigh, this is worse than he thought, what was she thinking, he actually doubts she is thinking lately.

Walking down the stairs, she is thrown into a cell, walking over to the seat, she sits down, putting her head in her hands, biting her lips. Looking up around the bleak dark cell, how did it all come to this.

After a sleepless night, the door is open early the next morning. Looking up she sees an officer staring at her "Get out" following him out and up to the front desk. Taking the cuffs off, the officer, roughly pushes her into a room. Looking up as the door opens she turns away, the last person she wants to see is Chris.

Walking over to her he sits down "Your free to go Kerry?" Looking up at him in surprise "Why, how?" Reaching out to hold her hand "I know your pissed off at me, but I gave you an albi, there is no way you killed Damian, when you were with me all night?"

Looking up at him in surprise "how did you know" then not letting Chris answer "bloody Lawson"

Nodding "Yep, but you should of told me Kerry"

Seeing her shake her head "I'm not dragging you into his Chris"

Still holding her hand "I'm going to be here with you Kerry, no matter how hard you try to push me away." Smiling up at him gratefully "thank you"

"You need to sign some forms then your out of here" Chris replies then looking at her in the eyes "your also back at TR"

Looking at him in surprise "how come" Smiling ruefully "Technicality only, once they found out I spent the night with you, I was grilled for a while about our relationship" interrupting him "what relationship"

"They are investigating but mean while you are free to go back to TR"

Leaving the station, they drive back to Kerry's house, walking inside everything looks the same still. Walking up stairs, she packs the remaining things she needs, before making her bed. Walking back down, she sees the dirty dishes, as she washes them up she sees Chris next to her drying them, as they last one is dried, Chris turns walking closer to Kerry, he pulls the hair away from her face and ears, before nibbling them, moving down her neck, pulling her towards him, she faces him, feeling his finger under her chin, tipping her face upwards, as he looks into her eyes, his lips meet hers.

Feeling his arms wrapped around her, she wraps her arms around him, before making there way to the lounge. As they start to kiss, Kerry pulls away from him, hearing a noise. Sitting up on the lounge, she hears a window smashing near the front. Feeling Chris in front of her, as he pushes her behind him, he grabs her hand as they run out the back, as they round near the front of the house, they see a car drive off. Getting out her mobile, she quickly calls Lawson, not even finishing the call, an explosion rings out. As they fall to the ground, Kerry turns around as she sees her house up in flames.

Hearing Lawson calling out on the other end of the phone "Lawson get the fires here"

Turning back to her house burning, she feels Chris hands reach for hers "Kerry we need to get away from here" as she follows him numbly, looking back at her house another explosion rocks its. Watching from a distance she feels helpless, nothing she can do to help to save the house.

Into her com "Leon I want an address for that car?" Hearing his voice "Its stolen Kerry, ive put a kaloff out on it, but there is no cameras around your streets, im trying to look for it on the main roads but nothing yet. .

Walking over to Chris's car she sits in the passenger seat, thumping the dashboard in frustration.

Arriving back at the hotel, as they walk into the room, Chris watches as Kerry walks over to the mini bar, taking out the small bottles of alcohol. Walking up to her he whispers in her ear "I can think of better things to do" Turning around to face him "want one". Putting the drink on the table, he wraps his arms around her waist, drawing her towards him, turning her around to face him, he leans down, as his lips meet hers before picking her up and carrying her to the bedroom.

**A few weeks later, TR has been busy, with drugs squad raiding houses and closing down labs, **

After another busy day Chris picks up Kerry, arriving back at the hotel, they walk into the restaurant for dinner, after finishing their meal, Chris reaches for Kerry's hand, walking along St Kilda pier, as they near the end, they walk over to the seat.

Turning to face Kerry "would you ever get married again?" Turning to Chris in surprise then looking out over the bay, the thought hadn't crossed her mind, the thought of losing him even after this short time had which scared her, and wanting to be with him, but marriage "maybe, I haven't even thought about it not the best track record of late, maybe with the right person and the right time"

Glancing at Kerry "Its never crossed your mind with us" then looking at Chris in the eyes "where did this come from, we have only been going out for a short period of time, things are going well between us, why ruin that"

Holding Kerry's gaze "Things are going well between us, and I don't want to loose you ever, and want to spend forever with you, I love you Kerry Vincent"

Giving his chin a quick rub before quickly kissing him "I don't want to loose you either and you won't, and I don't think marriage just yet is the answer, maybe one day" Feeling Chris's lips on her again quickly, as he reaches for her hand, and they walk away.

As they walk back towards the hotel "When the time is right ask me again"

The following day, late morning at TR, Leon into his com "Lawson have you heard from Kerry today" not waiting for a reply "you need to get to Novotel St Kilda, the manager there has just rung housekeeping went into Kerry's room and it is trashed, looks like a struggle"

Arriving a few minutes later, they arrive up at the room, Lawson turns to Stella "covering" as they open the door, looking around the room is in trashed.

Lawson into his com "Leon can you log into the security and hotel cameras, see what you can find out, see if Kerry's phone is turned on, and find out its location" then getting out his phone dials drug squad hanging up he sees Stella looking at him, shaking his head "Chris hasn't turned up for work either"

Hearing Leon's voice into his com a few minutes later "Lawson I'm sending you the details now, they were taken out via the garage, we're going through the cameras now, they turned left on St Kilda road about an hour ago, heading south."

Lawson into his com "have you got a location on Kerry's phone?"

Leon "still working on that"

Racing back to TR1, they take off, "Leon, we're heading south now, keep us updated."

Seeing Stella glancing at him "She'll be fine Lawson, she has got herself into situations before and always gotten out of them. You'll get a phone call from her shortly."

Looking straight ahead, he wishes he could be as confident as Stella, but he knows how dangerous these people are, and how determined they are to get to James and kill Kerry if they can't.

Getting out his phone, he dials Kerry's number, hearing it answered he calls out "Kerry?" not hearing anything "Kerry" then into his com "Leon, get a trace now, on Kerry's phone"

Hearing Leon's voice a few minutes later "Lawson they are at Hastings, the address on the screen now"

Arriving at Hastings about 25 minutes later, TR1 and TR2, surround the building, turning to Stella and Christian "Do a recki, find any entrance points?"

Getting the camera from the car, they put it under the door, seeing nothing. Hearing shots, they move around the building, nearing the side door, they put it under the door.

Turning back to his team "Josh, Michael, take the door down there, Shannon and Christian, the back, Stella you with me"

Breaking the doors down they storm into the place, "Police put the gun down"

Looking around the guy sees police everywhere not even looking at the police he glares at Kerry and Chris before, lowering the gun

As the guns are pointed on him, he kneels on the floor as Stella covers him, putting the ties on him.

Seeing TR storm in, Kerry calls out "medi kit, get an ambulance, get the medi kit."

Seeing Kerry tied up on a chair next to Chris, Lawson races over, untying Chris then her.

Stroking Chris's face "hang in there Chris, won't be long now" looking up at Lawson, trying to contain her emotions "where's the ambulance?"

Racing over with the medi kit, Stella applies pressure to the wound, looking at him, there is blood everywhere. Taking over from Stella, Kerry applies pressure leaning down "don't you dare die on me Chris, hear me." Seeing him trying to smile "Not going to get rid of me that easy Kerry"

Whispering to him "when we get out of this ask me again?" "Your going to marry me?" he whispers back.

Seeing him struggle to breath, Kerry calls out "Lawson where's the ambulance?"

Walking back to Kerry "about a minute away"

Nodding she turns to him "help me move him outside?"

Calling out to Josh, they move Chris outside, hearing the ambulance arrive.

Walking back inside Kerry walks up to Michael, "go outside?" Looking at Kerry and at the guy he hesitates "Michael go outside" she replies more forcefully.

Walking outside, Lawson walks over to him "Who's looking after the guy?" Glancing back inside before Michael answer "Kerry"

Racing inside, Lawson and Josh look around, seeing Kerry with the gun on the guy, Lawson races over "Kerry, you don't want to do this" Not even looking at him "Piss off both of you?"

Glancing at Josh who walks out, Lawson nods before walking closer to Kerry "Chris is going in the ambulance now, I think he would like you to go with him"

Not even looking at Lawson "is he still alive?"

Nodding "Just, if we leave now we can meet him at the hospital"

Glancing at Lawson "Piss off now Lawson, I'll meet him there soon"

Walking closer to Kerry "I'm not going anywhere Kerry, put the gun down, do you really think Chris wants you do this"

Seeing Kerry walk up to the guy, pointing the gun at his head "this scum deserves to die" Walking closer to her "Kerry, if you shoot him, you'll go to jail, think about what your doing, he isn't worth it"

Looking at Lawson then back to the guy her eyes dart around "Give me your phone" as he walks towards her, "throw it to me" tossing Kerry his phone she makes a phone call, hearing her ask about Chris she hangs up. Throwing the phone back to Lawson, she raises the gun. Before he can react a gun shot rings out in the shed, as Lawson screams out "No Kerry" .


	16. Chapter 16 So vunerable

Hearing shots in the shed, Josh and Stella race in seeing Kerry with the gun in her hand and the guy on the floor, walking over they glance at each other as they see Lawson walk over to Kerry before covering the guy.

Seeing the guy drop to the floor, Lawson runs to Kerry frozen on the spot the gun still in the hand. Reaching for her hand, he sees she is stunned as he takes the gun from her, opening it and emptying it. Seeing Josh and Stella go up and arrest the guy he puts his arms around Kerry as her legs give way to her.

Walking the guy out of the building, Josh and Stella turn around, seeing Kerry collapses on the ground, their faces etched with worry. Turning to Stella "Not a word of this to anyone".

Seeing the tears streaming down her face as she collapses onto the ground Lawson wraps his arms around her pulling her towards him. Feeling his shirt wet with his tears, he has no words for her.

Releasing herself from Lawson a short while later, she tries to compose herself her face hardening.

Looking at Kerry's tear stained face "Lets get you to the hospital, you need to be checked and we can check on Chris"

Not even looking at Lawson her voice without emotion of feeling "I don't need to go to hospital, no need to go anyway" Looking at Kerry he reaches for her arm, touching it, seeing her turn around "Chris died in the ambulance Lawson, and I wasn't there" Putting his arm around her waist he helps her out of the shed, as they near the exit, she brushes his arm away.

Walking outside the shed, she looks back and around, seeing blood on the ground, her knees buckle from her again, she feels Lawson's arms around her, walking her to TR. Arriving at the car, she glances around at the shed and the surrounds.

Putting the guy on the ground, waiting for GD's to arrive, Stella and Josh look up seeing, Kerry getting out of the car, before Lawson can stop her, walking over to him, kicking him across the chest before walking back and getting back in the car.

Leaving Kerry in the car Lawson walks over to Josh "Im taking Kerry back, get Shannon to pick up TR1 from her apartment" Pulling Lawson aside away from the others, Josh glances at Kerry before looking at Lawson "Hows Chris?" Looking back at Josh "he died on his way to hospital" Nodding at Lawson "I'm not surprised. Chris's injuries were horrific, he was tortured, looks like for hours, he had stab marks over his body, shot in the legs and more. He hardly stood a chance Lawson, he was lucky to survive as long as he did." Then glancing over at Kerry "How is she now, can't blame her for doing what she did, what she had to watch them do to him and feeling so helpless and not able to help him. You need to take her to counselling"

Looking at Kerry, sitting in the car trying to control herself "easier said than done" "You know she will just turn to the bottle" Josh replies. Nodding at him "I'll stay with her tonight, I'm going to take her to hospital to get looked over."

Leaving the others Stella walks over to Lawson "Is she going to be ok?" "She'll be fine Stel, she just had a rough night" Looking at Lawson thoughtfully 'Look after her, TR wouldn't be the same without her, never thought that the nut would crack open" "Stel" Lawson replies firmly  
>she went through a lot"<p>

Looking at Lawson "Im not saying she didn't, but she shot a guy Lawson, she lost it in there"

Looking around then back at Stella "I know, but not a word of this to anyone, I mean it Stella, this isn't to get out, Kerry would hate people seeing her like this at it is" Looking at Kerry sitting in the car Stella looks back at Lawson nodding "I won't"

Driving away, from the warehouse, Lawson heads towards the hospital, pulling up a while later, he goes to the passenger, door, seeing Kerry looking around "what are we doing here" Opening the door "to get you checked over" Staying in the car "Im fine Lawson, just get me back to the apartments" Seeing her not budging "Kerry, please just get yourself looked over, your in shock" Seeing her eyes glaring at him "Take me back, I don't need to see a doctor or anyone" Closing the door, he walks back to the drivers side, pulling out.

Driving back to the apartments the ride is silent, Kerry's head against the window looking out, gone is the tough nut, in her place the vunerablity that had been hidden. The toll of all these weeks the guilt all there.

Walking up to the apartment, she opens the door, looking around, she expects Chris to walk out, walking into the bedroom, she lies down on the bed. Opening the door next to the bed, she pulls out a small box, opening it, the tears fall down her face, grabbing the clock and other things on the bedside table, flinging them across the room

Running into the bedroom, Lawson sees Kerry her legs curled up under her, wondering what is in her hand, he walks up to him, sitting on the bed he looks at the box she is opening, his eyes widening, he didn't realise how serious they were. "I didn't know you were engaged" Shaking her head "he mentioned it last night, but I never knew he had even bought a ring"

Then looking up at him her face stained by tears "I killed him Lawson, it was because of me that he was there" "Kerry, its not your fault you didn't kill him, he knew you were in danger, and he wanted to protect you, no one could see this coming", Lawson softly to her. Looking around the room "He kept telling me what danger I was in, and I kept ignoring him, now its too late"

Watching Kerry get up off the bed, and walk over to the fridge, getting a bottle of wine and a glass before walking back to her bed. "Kerry I don't think you should be drinking " Not even looking at him "Piss off Lawson, go home to your girlfriend, who asked you to stay anyway" Ignoring her he walks over to her, picking up the bottle "Getting drunk isn't the way"

Looking up at him "what is then, talking" her voice rising "Nothing will bring Chris back Lawson, NOTHING, so give me back the bloody bottle of wine so I can have a drink" Looking at Kerry and the anger in her "Drinking won't bring him back either, all you well end up with a hangover" Snatching the bottle out of Lawson's hand "A hangover is better than the way I'm feeling at the moment so piss off Lawson"

Giving up and leaving her in the bedroom, he walks out, turning as he leaves "I'll just be out there, call out if you need anything"

Walking out into the lounge room, Lawson gets out his phone, "Leon" "How's Kerry going?". Leon asks worried, sitting in the coms room, he had seen it all unfold, the tears now gone from his eyes that had built up during it all. "I need you to get rid of all the footage from today, can you do that. No one is to see it" Nodding but realising Lawson couldn't see him "Onto it now, you want it destroyed?" "That's the idea make it disappear" Lawson replies, closing his eyes, he knows he is doing the right thing even though it goes against everything he believe in, but if anyone finds out about it, Kerry's career could be over.


	17. Chapter 17  Over the limit

A few days later…

Walking away from the cemetery, Lawson turns around, seeing Kerry still by the graveside of Chris, giving her time there, he hides in the background.

With no one around, the tears falling freely down her face "Im so sorry Chris, this is all because of me, I wish I could of saved you. I will get those responsible, they will pay for this. You shouldn't have died, it should have been me not you. I'm sorry I couldn't try to save you, I wanted to and tried, seeing what they did to you" Kneeling on the ground her face wet with tears. Not even hearing the footsteps coming up behind her, feeling an arm around her, leaning into it. Hearing Lawson whisper "Lets get you out of here"

Arriving at TR the following morning Lawson is surprised to see Kerry there, walking up to her "Sure you should be at work" Snapping at him "I'm fine" before walking away from him.

Walking over to Leon "Give me all the information you have, about the other day at the warehouse" Turning to look at Kerry "I can't" seeing her lean closer to him, trying to move away from her "What do you mean I can't I want those files and names"

Moving his chair away from her "I'm not allowed to Kerry, if they find out." Feeling her face and breath only inches from his "Do you want your job Leon?" Nodding unable to speak "then give me those files, or get out of here"

"I'll try to find them for you" he ends up saying, watching Kerry walk away he gets out his mobile quickly ringing Lawson.

Hanging up her phone a few minutes later, Kerry storms out into the coms room walking up to Leon "Pack you things and get out of here now" Walking back to her office and back to him a short time later, she hands him a piece of paper, looking at it then at Kerry "what is this"

Leaning down close to him "Your fired, your termination" before walking over to the head piece putting it on, "Shannon I need you back at base" before walking away.

Looking at Kerry in shock and the letter, he opens it up, sure enough there it is. Putting it back in the envelope, he quickly goes to the computer, googling what he needs and writing it down before, picking up his bag and leaving TR.

Walking into base a short while later, Shannon walks up to Kerry "You're the only one in the team with any idea of how to use the intel system, I need you to help out for a few days?" Looking at Kerry "where's Leon" walking away "Fired, I need a list and names of everyone at the warehouse the other day, phone numbers addresses, what ever you can get".

Looking at Kerry's retreating body "I only know how to do so much Kerry, I'm not an intel officer, where's Audrey" Not even looking at her "On rotation, Well learn quickly, I want the information asap"

Turing back to the computer "Maybe you shouldn't of fired Leon then" before adding "I'll see what I can do"

Walking in later that day, Stella laughs as she sees Shannon at the computer "Shut up Stel, or I'll get you in here" smiling sweetly at her friend "but Kerry likes me Shannon" before walking out.

Watching the team leave Kerry walks up to Shannon who is with Lawson later that day "Thanks, Shannon for filling in today" Seeing Lawson looking at her "Maybe you should get Leon back" , ignoring him she walks out of base.

Driving out of base, Kerry heads to Docklands, walking into the bar, she orders a drink, sculling it before ordering another one. Taking them over to a table, she sits over looking the bay, drowning one drink after another. Looking up she sees a shadow over the table "is this seat taken?" Looking up at the guy she turns around ignoring him. Hearing him sit down next to him she turns and glares at him "What do you want?" Looking into her blue eyes "to buy you a drink" staring back at him "gin and tonic then" Seeing the guy come back with a few drinks, she quickly sculls them.

A few hours later, feeling quite woozy and light headed she goes to stand up, grabbing the chair for support turning around she goes to walk out "Not going to say goodbye" Looking at the guy "Get lost" before sitting down again. Seeing her drink at the table, she finishes it off.

Walking out of the bar, in the early hours of the morning, Kerry heads back to where her car is, slightly grateful for the company next to her. Feeling very light headed she sits down over looking the bay. Feeling the guys arms around her, she turns her head to face him, feeling his lips upon her, she wants to fight him off, but her body ignoring her signals. Feeling his hands moving around her back and stomach, she feels them moving lower down her body.

Mumbling out loud "what are you doing" she feels the zipper of her pants undone. Her brain foggy, she tries to resist, as she feels the guy on top of her.

Summoning all of her strength a while later, she fights him off her, before quickly doing up her pants, picking up her bag and turning around. "I'm police you idiot" seeing the guy look at her, "OH shit, I didn't do anything wrong or you didn't want" before fleeing .

Finding a seat out of sight, she sits down, over looking the bay, her eyes filling up with tears, her brain foggy looking back at the bar, it would be so easy just to go back in there.

Staring out over the bay, she watches as the sun comes up before walking slowly back to her car. Sitting in the drivers seat, she bangs her head against the wheel before pulling out a while later.

Pulling into TR base a short time later, she hops out, seeing no one around, she heads to the showers, letting the water pour over her body.

Walking out into the coms room, she sees Leon sitting at the computer "What part of your fired, don't you understand Leon?"

Turning around to smile at Kerry "I have rights Kerry, the right to have my name spelt correctly, the right for the correct date, and I had no counselling or ESD". Walking over to him, no smile on her face "thanks for pointing that out Leon, I'll get them fixed and give it back to you"

Watching Kerry walk out, the smile slipped from his face, he was sure it was a joke and not true, but seems not. Turning back to the computer screen

Hearing Kerry come out a short time later "Where's Lawson?" Pointing to the screen "where do you think working" then thinking before looking at her "Would of thought all this time Kerry you would know Lawson works, and that dot on the screen with TR1 is him" Glaring at him "Do you like your balls where are Leon?"

Laughing at her "Kerry, there are three things you don't do in anger, drive a car, have sex or PUT IT IN WRITING"

Walking closer to him, she puts the head piece on "Lawson I'll get Leon to send you through an address meet me there" Turning to Leon, send Lawson this address. Looking at the address and name "How'd you get this Kerry?"

Raising her eyebrows at him "I don't need you here Leon, to get information" before walking out.

Arriving at the house a short time later, Kerry sees both TR cars there, walking towards Lawson, "Your call on this" Nodding at her, he notices her gun on her hip, looking at her face and her breath he pulls her aside "go back to base, we will take it from here"

Shaking her head, replying firmly "Im staying" leaning down to her "Kerry you need to be 0 here with a gun, you've been done for DUI before" Looking at Lawson "I'm fine"

Watching Lawson take control, standing back by her car, she watches as they go up to the house, hearing a nosie shortly later, she sees a car reversing down the driveway, into her com as she's running towards TR 1 parked closer "Lawson, driveway"

Watching Kerry run near the driveway and pull her gun from her hip as she takes aim at the car, hearing a shot he doesn't want to look.

Watching the car quickly go back into the garage, it isn't long before they see a motor cycle come out, with a gun in his hand, shooting randomly, tearing down the driveway Lawson and Stella fire back along with Christian who has come from around the back. Not looking ahead but at the two officers, he doesn't see TR car that Kerry had driven across the driveway. Looking up quickly as he tries to steer around it, he quickly looses his balance, falling on the ground.

Running quickly over to him, Stella covers Lawson, as he cuffs him. Dragging him up, Lawson watches as Kerry storms over to him "Give me names, I want all the names of the people you work for?" Shaking his head her stares at her, walking over to her car, she gets a tyre lever out, walking back to him, she swings it back before hitting him across the knee "Names" seeing him not answering her, she lifts her arm again, feeling Lawson's hand on hers, taking it off her "Don't Kerry, that is pretty stupid" seeing her glare at him.

Turning to his team "ESD are on there way down, since there was weapon discharge, they need a piss test." Seeing the worry in Kerry's eyes, he knows he was right about earlier on as she walks up to him "I'm going back to base, I'll give them one there".

Seeing Kerry walk away, Lawson goes after her "I'll let ESD know, there was no weapon fire from your gun"

Looking at Lawson "my gun will match the tryes, I'll be fine" before walking away from him.

Driving back to base, her mind everywhere but on the road, her thoughts wondering back to the previous night and what had happen, drifting back to Chris, Looking up her eyes wide open, as she approaches a corner too fast, trying to control the car, she feels it spinning out of control, before hearing a crunch, as it rests against a tree.

Opening her eyes a few minutes later, she looks around, getting out and surveying the damage "Oh shit" before hopping back in, putting the car in reverse, biting her lips, she feels the car moving away. Driving the last few kilometres back to base.

Getting out of the car, she quickly inspects it, how is she going to explain this to HQ. Leaning against the car, she knows she can't take it yet, they will definitely breath alyaser her. Walking inside to her desk she sits down taking deep breaths. Seeing Leon turn around "You ok" Not even replying she gets up, to get some water.

Walking back to her desk, she hears footsteps down the hallway, seeing Lawson come in "what happened to your car" Not even looking at him "doesn't matter" Looking at her in surprise "doesn't matter, Kerry, the car is smashed"

Looking up at him "what do you want Lawson?" Leaning down "Heads up, ESD will want a piss test from you, they will be here shortly"

The words just out of his mouth when Leon calls out "Kerry, ESD is here yet again for you?" Looking at Lawson trying to remain neutral, as she gets out of her chair.

Walking over to them, she follows them, coming back a short time later, with her sample then looking at them "That all" before walking back to her desk.

Hearing Leon call out her voice a short time later she looks up exasperated "What Leon, can't you do anything by yourself" as she gets out of her seat, looking up "Inspector Vincent" Looking up at him "Yeah who are you" Looking at her "Detective Steve Matthew, Can we talk somewhere?"

Following him out of the communications room she wonders what this is all about, handing her a breath alyaser "blow in here" Glancing up at him "What's this about" Looking around "I think you know, blow in there Inspector, that's your car out in the carpark"

"Theres a few cars out there, can you be more specific" before taking a deep breath she blows in it, before handing it back. Looking at it, Steve looks back at Kerry, "I don't think you need me to tell you that your over" Closing her eyes briefly before opening them, she looks at him, needing to know "What happens now?"


	18. Chapter 18  Can't loose her

Looking at the detective, as he closes the door, "Kerry, this is what we are going to do, your going to take 2 weeks off work to sort yourself out, the ESD piss test, is negative along with these results"

Looking at him in surprise "Why, why are you doing this?"

Sitting down close to her "I know about you and Detective Finch, Chris and I were close friends, I was one of the few he told about your relationship too, I know how much you meant to him, he loved you Kerry, Im not going to be the one to ruin your career, he would never forgive me for that."

Looking up at him in surprise "he didn't tell many people about the two of you, he kept a lot of stuff to himself, but he was so happy Kerry, so this is what we are going to do"

Biting her lips, she didn't like it, but if she didn't go through with it, it could mean the end of her career, looking up at him "Ok, I'll go away" then remembering "Oh shit, the car"

Smiling at her, he could see what Chris saw in her, she was beautiful/gorgeous even with her jeans, top and jacket, with sparkling blue eyes, beautiful smile, and spoke her mind, he was one lucky man. "Just take it in, we wills end through the paperwork for the PBT and all"

Nodding "two weeks that's all, no longer" Nodding at her "as long as you sort all of this shit out in 2 weeks Kerry" then looking closer, and seeing the sadness in her eyes "Chris was a great guy, you were both so lucky, don't do anything stupid and ruin your career"

Seeing her eyes narrow, he burst out laughing "Chris did say, that he loved you feistiness" giving him a small smile, she walks out of the room, turning at the door "thanks"

Walking to her desk, she sits down, putting her head on her hands, letting out her breath, she really didn't see that coming, at all. Looking around she can't lose TR.

Picking up her phone and dialling Lawson, she gets her stuff walking out of TR.

Sitting at the lounge later that night, with her laptop and glass of wine, she looks around, she misses Chris, he never should of died. Closing her eyes, will the pain of it all ever go away, with no work for 2 weeks, she won't even have that to keep her mind occupied.

Hearing a knock on the door she opens it up to find Lawson there "What are you doing?" Walking inside, he looks around seeing her laptop and bottle of wine.

Turning to face her "Pack you things" "I'm not going anywhere"

Closing her laptop his voice firmer "Pack a bag Kerry" then looking him in the eyes "I know what happened today, and I think 2 weeks off is a great idea, as long as you are away from Melbourne"

Glaring at him "Im fine here"

Shaking his head "Your not Kerry, your drinking too much, turning up to work drunk, and I bet that is only half of it"

Getting angry at him "Piss off Lawson"

Leaning down close to her his voice firm "No, I care about you Kerry, and im not going to let you self destruct, so go into the bedroom, and pack your bag, we're leaving with or without your bag packed in 20 minutes"

Glaring at Lawson, she knows he is right deep down, so gets up off the lounge "So where are we going, so I know what to pack"

Walking out 22 minutes later, with a bag packed "lets go"

Arriving a the airport a while, later, Lawson check her in, turning to face him "How did you pay for all of this" Looking at her "I had Qantas frequent flyer points, and a friend owes me a favour who owns the unit"

Giving him a half smile "You actually have friends, I thought you were friendless"

Walking to the boarding area a short time later she faces him "Look after TR for me" Looking at her "You know I will Kerry, now enjoy yourself" Walking away from him she turns around saying softly "Thanks"

**TWO MONTHS LATER**

Watching the screen and the calls coming in, Leon gets his mobile, calling Kerry's number, with not answer, into his com "Lawson, have you heard from Kerry this morning?" after getting a negative reply from him "get to Marribynong Street, Fitzroy, Kerry's car's been reported in an accident there"

Lawson into his com "Copy that Leon"

Arriving a short time later, they see the area cordoned off, walking over to the officer, Lawson looks around "Senior Sergeant Lawson Blake what happened?"

Looking at the accident then at the Senior Sergeant "no skid marks, witnesses said they heard an accident, looks like her car was rammed hit from behind, there is no sign of the other car, or the driver of this car, we're been searching the area"

Nodding and turning to Stella and Christian "Door knock the area, see what you can find" before walking over to her car, opening it up and looking inside she sees her bag and purse still there, looking around he can't see her mobile phone

Getting out his phone, he calls it, waiting for her to answer it, hanging up .

Into his com "Leon, get the traffic cameras in the area, see what happened, see if you can get a trace on her phone."

Seeing Stella coming back a short time later "Not much, people heard the sound of a car hitting another, some came out to have a look, and saw another car drive away, all they got was a silverfish 4WD"

Hearing Leon's voice into his com "Lawson, Mitsibishi Challenger, white reg Bravo Yankie Kilo 68 Mike, we are going through the traffic cameras now, it belongs to a Geoffery Cooper, ive put his address up on your screen"

Lawson "Find anything you can Leon, on him, Josh go around to his place, have you got a position on her phone yet Leon?"

Shaking head "working on it Lawson, the car was heading south out of Melbourne"

Hearing Leons voice a few minutes later "Looks like he own a boat at Hastings Marina "Daytripper Believer" on berth 3, he could be heading there, I'm trying to log into the camera's there"

Turning to Stella she glances at him "I know Hastings Marina?"

The drive taking forever, as they are about 5 minutes away, Lawson hears Leon's voice "I have a position on her hone, at the marina, that's all I can get, can't give an exact position"

Nearing the marina Lawson into his com "Josh, how far away are you?" "10 minutes?"

Arriving at the marina they get out of the car, running towards the berths, looking at the signs, Lawson heads towards Berth 3, running down the jetty, he hears a boat engine starting. Looking he sees a boat pulling out, looking for a name he sees the last few letters, running next to he boat, he quickly jumps in, before he can pull out his gun, he sees a guy swinging for him, loosing his balance momentarily, he quickly regains it, out of the corner of his eyes, he sees Christian boarding hearing his voice "Police drop the weapon" getting his gun out, he covers as Christian cuffs the guy. Motioning for Stella, they search the boat, opening each door downstairs with their guns raised it isn't long before they find Kerry. "Oh shit" before running over to her, kneeling down, he feels for a pulse, looking around he sees syringes, and plastic bags, seeing Stella just staring at him "medi kit now Stella" Nodding in shock before running off.

Trying to do CPR with the boat rolling about, Lawson quickly picks Kerry up, taking her up the stairs, before putting her on the jetty. Starting CPR again, he quickly into his com "Leon how far away is the ambulance?"

Seeing Stella staring at Kerry "Is she going to be ok"

Ignoring her question, he wants to know that too, she needs to be ok, she has to be, every part of his body, giving it his all, trying to breath life into her, his chest thumping loudly, continuing compressions and mouth to mouth.

Not even noticing Josh kneeling down next to him "Have a rest, I'll take over" shaking his head "No" he doesn't want anyone else to touch her, or try, what if they can't, she has to be alright, "cmon Kerry breath he whispers to her" wanting to shake her, do anything to get her to open her eyes and start breathing again, he cant even bear to think about what if he was too late, what if he can't bring her back, he just has to that's all there is to it.

Feeling a hand on him he quickly looks up seeing the ambulance officers there, moving aside he lets them take over. Standing up his eyes are glued to them, watching there every move. Seeing them give her an injection of adrenalin, he can't lose her, they've had there ups and downs but no. Feeling Shannon's hand reaching for his, her fingers entwining his, her touch feels cold giving him no comfort at all, he can't even squeeze it back. He can't even take his eyes off her, watching for the slightest moment of her chest rising on its own.

Closing his eyes briefly he quickly reopens them hoping it was all a nightmare. His chest tightening, full of knows and fear. The thought of never seeing her again, is too much to even complemtate. She had been part of his life for over 4 years now, annoying a lot of the time, wanting to get one up of him, but he cared about her deeply, a good friend, someone he now couldn't imagine in his life the guilt building up, he should of protected her, he should of done something about it. Pushing the thought of her dying from his mind

Quickly looking around the look on Stella's and Christian's faces, shock just staring at the scene before them, their boss, looking so weak and vunerable, just lying there dead as they watch the ambulance officers working on her.

The guilt there for him, he should of protected her, should of looked after her better. Running his hand through his hair, his eyes drawn back to Kerry, he just wants to walk over and shake her, tell her he wants her, that she can't leave him.

Looking around he sees Josh standing away from the others, walking over to Geoffery the anger of the whole situation building up inside of him, he grabs him by the arm "What did you give her?" Seeing him just look at him saying nothing, he gets his thumb, pressing it close to his ear "What was it?" Seeing him still ignore him, he hears Josh's voice "Don't Lawson"

Hearing Stella's voice coming through the coms "Lawson, they've got a pulse" Flicking the guy away from him, he walks back down. Seeing Kerry's eyes open, relief floods through him his heart starting to beat normally again. Looking around he sees Stella and Christian just staring.

Watching Kerry sit up looking around taking it all in, the concern and worry in everyone's eyes wondering what is going on, swatting away the hands of the paramedics "Go away I'm fine" then looking up at Lawson "What happened?" Leaning down "You overdosed?" Seing her eyebrows raised and doubt "Yeah right, seriously Lawson what happened?" Seeing the worry in his eyes "Your not joking?" Shaking his head "I'll tell you later?"

Seeing the ambulance bend down to her "We need to get you to hospital. Shaking her head "I don't need to go to hospital" seeing Lawson lean down "Please Kerry go and get checked out, they had to revive you" Looking up at him, the concern in his eyes "I won't hear the end of it otherwise" Giving her a half smile and nodding "Nope" Looking up at him "Fine i'll go, but Im fine"

Watching her go to the ambulance, his eyes glued to her, he wants to hop in the ambulance with her. Turning to hop in the ambulance, Kerry looks around, seeing Lawson's gaze on her, she gives him a half smile, so many questions going through her mind.

Arriving back at base later on, Lawson sees Leon walking towards him "How's Kerry?" "At hospital, she should be fine" the images of her just lying there, he can't get them out of his head or the thought of losing her too much to bear.

Feeling Shannon's hand in his again, and her touch, as he sits down "Want to get a pizza and DVD" Looking up at his girlfriend he shakes his head "Sorry Shan, some other time" getting up and walking out.

Arriving back at his place, Lawson looks around, why is he still thinking about her, why was he so scared at losing her and never seeing her again, there professional relationship had come such a long way since theyf first started out. The thoughts running through his head, why did it worry him so much today, why did it scare him so much, the feelings he was feeling in his head his heart, none of it made sense, why did he feel like he did, what did it mean, he had a girlfriend, he was in love with Shannon wasn't he, what did he have with Kerry was it anything, the tightness in his chest, he was scared, he wanted to touch her, pull her towards him.

Putting his shoes on, he goes out jogging to clear his head, with no set path of where to run, he just starts out, trying to revive her, just wanting to kiss her, willing her to breath again. So many thought going around in his head driving him crazy, what did they mean, what did any of this mean.

Hailing a taxi, he hops in, giving the taxi driver the address.

Arriving back at the hotel later that evening, Kerry goes over to the lounge, relaxing she hears the door bell ring, opening it she is surprised by who is at the door "What are you doing here?"

Seeing him staring at him "I don't know, Kerry I don't know"

Looking up into his eyes, she feels his lips upon hers.


	19. Chapter 19  Finding out

Feeling Lawson's arms wrap around hers she can't help but respond to his kisses kicking the door close as it becomes heavier. Moving over to the lounge, she feels herself being lowered down, before being covered by his mouth.

Moving her head backwards, she looks into his eyes, feeling his hands moving her hair away from her eyes, looking into her eyes, holding her gaze "Don't ever scare me like that again" Feeling his lips against her ears she gently pushes him away "What is going on here, why are you here and doing this?"

Looking her in the eyes "The thought of you dying and never seeing you again, it scared me, all I wanted to do was hop in the ambulance with you, hold you, never let you go. I don't know where these feeling came from, but the thought of you not in my life scared me, I just had to see you, try to see what it meant, and as soon as you opened the door, it did, I want you Kerry, I want to hold you, kiss you and make love to you, I just want to be with you"

The shock in what he was saying her eyes wide open looking around "What about Shannon?" Shaking his head "I don't know, all I do know Kerry is at the moment I just want to be with you, feel you next to me" before leaning down and kissing her feverently, feeling her respond, and wrapping her arms around his neck

Moving away slightly looking at her "sure your feeling up to this" Nodding whispering "Just kiss me Lawso" not finishing the question his lips find hers as they made their way quickly to the bedroom, leaving a trail of clothes behind them.

Seeing Kerry perched up on an elbow looking at him in the morning after the night of kissing, making love and just lying next to each other "What now Lawson, I'm not doing this, one night stands between us?"

Reaching for her hand, he shakes his head "I don't know Kerry" then gazing into her eyes "I think I want more, not just another one night stand?" Holding his gaze before looking down, there is nothing she wants more "It won't work out Lawson" then looking at him "what about Shannon?"

His eyes looking around before coming back to Kerry "I'm going to break up with her" Looking down "Don't do it on my account Lawson"

Holding her hand still "I want you Kerry" Looking down, and not at Lawson, knowing if she looks into his eyes, she will just agree with him "It won't work out Lawson, not working at the same place"

Holding Kerry's chin "Ill leave TR then, just give us a chance Kerry"

Her eyes darting sideways "don't Lawson, that is ridiculous you love TR,"

Stroking her face and holding her face to look him "Look me in the face and tell me you don't feel the same, and don't want to give us a try or want me?"

Her eyes still darting around she sees Lawson looking at her "you can't can you"

Shaking her head and looking up at him "Just give me some time Lawson, its all so soon, I need to think"

Leaning over to kiss her again "Thats fine I do want to be with you, that won't change"

Kissing her on top of her head "I have to get to work, will I see you tonight" before getting up and getting dressed

Smiling as he leaves, she knows what her heart is saying, she wants him always had since she first met him, now it is happening, there are so many questions to ask "Maybe, probably"

Pacing around the hotel room, Kerry gets out her laptop the only way to stop thinking was to do some work. Checking her emails she found her mind back wandering to the night before, it was a dream come true, it was no secret to herself that she had been in love with Lawson nearly since the moment he came, a brief encounter after Grace died. They had come so far professionally and also out of work. He was a friend she could rely on. Did she want to ruin that, could they work together as a couple, could they still work together if things didn't work out, what if she wasn't his boss. So many questions going through her head, she quickly puts on some trackies and heads down to the gym.

Running on the treadmill, and working out, deep in thought, filling up her water bottle she feels someone behind her, turning around she sees the gum instructor smiling at him she waits for him to move "Do you want to get a drink?" Looking up at him, part of her wants to, but what if she drinks now, "Sorry, I'm not, I can't" what can she really say. Seeing him looking at her still "Its only a drink?" Smiling at him, he is cute "Thanks" before picking up her water bottle and walking out.

Arriving back at her room, she gets out her phone, sending Lawson a text, taking a deep breath is she doing the right thing.

Driving around in TR1, the day dragging on, all Lawson wants is to get home, partially grateful for Kerry's rule of him and Shannon not riding in the same car, seeing his girlfriend his morning, the guilt eating away at him, he needs to talk to her but not now. Hearing his phone beep, he opens it up, smiling at the message, the day now a whole lot better.

Arriving at Lawson's later that night, Kerry pauses outside, waiting, can she knock on the door, what is she going to say, waiting for the door to open, she sees Lawson there as she feels his lips on hers, all thoughts leave her head.

Following Lawson inside his apartment, Kerry looks around, the nerves are there again, is she doing the right thing, she really has no idea. Feeling Lawson's lips upon hers she responds to them, before pulling away a short time later.

Moving inside she looks around, an aroma drifting from the kitchen, and the table set, looking at him in surprise "You cook" Smiling at her "for special occasions, this is one of them. Hope you haven't eaten  
>Shaking her head truth be told she wasn't able to eat, smiling at him, as he brings over the meal.<p>

Finishing the meal, Lawson looks into her eyes "I'm going to tell Shannon it's over Kerry" Looking at him "You need to be sure about his Lawson, don't do it for me, this mightn't work out, it might not even happen"

Reaching for her hand "I want you Kerry, I don't want to lose you, you're the one I want." Seeing her start to interrupt "give us a chance, it might work out this time, forget you're my boss"

Nodding as she sees him getting up, reaching for her hand, as he leads her towards the bedroom,

Driving to base, Lawson looks at his watch, cursing himself, he is running late a smile on his lips, it was worth it thought, spending the night again with Kerry, feeling her body against his, her lips against his making love throughout the night. He needs to speak to Shannon and tonight, he can't put it off any more, he can't see Kerry and lead her on, deep down he knows what is he is doing is wrong, and he should of broken up with Shannon first. The thought of hurting her, he hates it.

Arriving at base, he gets out of the car, hurrying towards the locker room, hoping to get on the road soon, so he doesn't have to speak to Shannon, he doesn't know he can face her. Feeling a tap upon his shoulder he turns around, into he eyes of his girlfriend, seeing her look at him "I've been calling you" Trying to smile "Sorry i didn't hear you"

Feeling her touch on his arm, he tries not to flinch "How's Kerry going, did you spend last night at her place too?" Glancing at Shannon, he can't look into her face, her words actually full of concern, nothing more "Yes, She's alright" Looking at Lawson "How's she's coping with it all?" Turning to face her before continuing on "How do you think Shan, someone tried to kill her the other day, she died, she can't see her son, all of this shit is happening to her what do you think?"

Walking up to him "what's up your arse, Lawson?" catching up to him, looking him in the eyes, she sees he can't hold her gaze but looks away, walking around to face him "Did something happen between you?" this time her words have accusation, not answering her, he doesn't want a scene "Did it, tell me Lawson?" Looking briefly at Shannon his eyes full of guilt "Not now Shan,"

Seeing her look him in the eye, seeing guilt there, before he looks down "It did, didn't it, tell me Lawson" Seeing him shake his head her words louder "Tell me?" This time looking her in the eye, wanting the truth out "What do you want me to say Shannon?"

Retaining his eye contact "The truth, you slept with her?" Closing his eyes he tries to shake his head instead he hears himself saying "I fucked her, Shannon" Seeing her walk away how he wanted to tell her, knowing Kerry will also kill him, seeing her turn around and face him "How many times?" then shaking her head walking away "I don't' want to know" feeling Lawson's hand on her arm she pushes it off her voice angry and loud "don't, don't touch me" before walking off.

Seeing the team all ready, Lawson looks around, seeing Shannon not even looking at him "Shannon, Stel and Christian in TR2, Josh, you and Michael with me" Seeing the look of surprise on Stella and Josh's face as they walk out to the cars

Driving around, Shannon looks out the window, her mind going in circles, how and why did it happen, why did Lawson cheat on her, why did Kerry her boss sleep with him, turning to Stella pull over, opening the door and running over to a corner, she throws up, rubbing her mouth afterwards and her eyes, trying to prevent the tears from forming.

Getting out of the car, Stella walks towards Shannon "are you ok" looking up at Stella, how she wants to lie and say yes, she ends up shaking her head "Lawson screwed Kerry" seeing the surprise on Stella's face, she says nothing, she knew they had something going, but thought Lawson loved her, she was sure he was "when, how long have you known". Looking up at Stella "he told me this morning, he had been staying at her place the past two nights" walking back to the car.

Walking to the locker room after their shift, Lawson looks up as he sees Shannon walking in "Shan" seeing her ignore him, he waits until the locker room is empty, seeing Shannon leave he calls out after her softly "Shan" following her out, seeing her turn around her face expressionless "What do you want Lawson?" Looking into her eyes "I'm so sorry Shan" Looking up into his eyes, her face blank "Is that all?"

Biting his lip, he nods "I never meant for this to happen Shan, I'm really sorry" Seeing her look at him, she wants to know one thing "Why did it happen then Lawson" Shrugging "It just did" then shaking his head "So much has happened recently with Kerry, her nearly dying the other day ….. I dunno".

Biting her lip trying to control herself and her emotions, the one thing she needs to know "How many times did you sleep with her?"

Looking down on the ground briefly before looking up into her eyes Shannon speaks first "that is all I need to know, it wasn't a one off?"

Shaking his head "I spent the weekend with her" Going to walk away she looks at him "Did you even think of me, the whole weekend" not letting him answer "I thought about you Lawson, I didn't expect you to spend your weekend screwing Kerry though" pushing him out of her way.

Turning the corner and wiping the tears from her eyes, she realises she left something in her locker, seeing Lawson drive off in his car, she walks into the locker room, sitting down on the table, wiping her eyes on her sleeve, how could he do it too her, either of them, maybe just the once she could of forgiven him, but to spend the whole weekend with her in bed.

Blinking away the tears in her eyes, she walks over to Lawson's locker pushing the locker onto the floor, before finding Kerry's locker, flinging that onto the floor.

Finishing her work for the day, Kerry smiles, walking to her car, despite trying to talk herself out of it, she can't wait to see Lawson tonight. Hearing noises coming from the locker room, she hurries towards it, walking inside she looks around seeing lockers tipped over and the mess, looking up at Shannon "Feeling better?" Looking around at the mess concern in her voice "What happened?" Looking up at Kerry hatred in her eyes "Don't worry I'll fix it"

Walking over to her, putting her hand on her arm, feeling her fling it away "don't" Slightly confused and worried "What happened Shannon, is it you and Lawson?"

Hearing Lawson's name from her lips she turns around to face her boss, wanting to hit her across the face, the two faced person, in front of her looking all concerned. Looking up at Kerry her voice full of venom and hatred "why would it have anything to do with Lawson" seeing relief on Kerry's face she continues "unless something happened between you and Lawson, like you screwing my boyfriend for the past two nights or would that be all weekend?"


	20. Chapter 20  Changes

_**Thanks for the reviews, actually feeling slightly sorry for Shannon too, for some unknown reason. Hope you enjoy this chapter too as much as I love writing them **_

Looking at Shannon trying to hide the shock on her face and surprise of what she said, trying to keep her face neutral not wanting to admit the face is true "I'm not sure what you mean Shannon"

Spinning around to face her boss her eyes hard "Want me to spell it out to you Kerry" seeing her face remaining calm and giving nothing away "I know what happened." Shaking her head at Shannon "I don't know what you think you know Shannon but"

Interrupting her lying boss "Don't deny it, Lawson told me, you spend the weekend together, you slept with my boyfriend" Blinking back the tears she looks up at Kerry "Was this the first time, was it the whole weekend?"

Looking at Shannon wondering what she wanted and why all the questions, what is she meant to say no, she slept with Lawson a few months ago, whilst they were going out "What does it matter?"

Narrowing her eyes at Kerry "You spend the weekend fucking my boyfriend, I deserve some answers"

Biting her lip, not wanting to give her private life away, not wanting the whole squad to find out, her eyes look around, she doesn't want to look at Shannon bringing her hands up to her face rubbing them over it.

Trying to keep the tears from forming the silence by Kerry speaking volumes, then looking up at her boss "You don't even have the guts to tell me the truth, why Kerry, is your own life so fucked up, you have to mess with others people"

Seeing the guilt in Kerry's eyes and her not wanting to look at her "It wasn't the first time was it, how many other times have you slept with my boyfriend?"

Kerry's eyes moving side to side "None" Looking at Kerry, who won't look at her "Bullshit, how many times?"

Closing her eyes briefly before opening, them, looking briefly at Shannon, her eyes down slightly "What does it matter, Shannon, its in the past, lets not go there"

Biting her lip before looking around, blinking back the tears that are forming, once maybe she could of forgiven Lawson "When did it start?"

Sitting down on the table, fiddling with her hands Kerry looks up at Shannon "3 nights ago, when I came home from hospital"

Looking at Shannon, trying not to feel guilty about what she did, her eyes darting around before settling on her "I'm sorry Shannon" Looking back at her boss "You think that's all right, you say your sorry and that's it, you think that's all it takes"

Seeing Kerry shaking her head "Of course not, Shannon it just happened" then looking her in the eye "Please don't tell the team about this?"

Glaring at Kerry the hatred in her eyes her voice dripping with venom and anger "What do I owe you or Lawson for that matter"

Looking at Shannon, and biting her lip her voice soft "Nothing" going to walk out "Just clean up this before you leave"

Looking up at her boss, her eyes full of anger and more as she watches Kerry walk out, banging her hand against one of the standing lockers.

Hopping in her car Kerry bangs the steering wheel, damm Lawson, why didn't he tell her, Shannon had found out, the whole squad will be next, rubbing her eyes she felt for Shannon, pulling out of TR, she heads to the pub.

Picking up the lockers, Shannon looks around, sitting on the table letting the tears form, it hurt so much, the betrayal not only of her boyfriend or ex, but her boss too she didn't know which was worse. Putting her head in her hand, closing her eyes, she opens them soon after, the images of the two of them together going through her mind. Cleaning up the locker room she heads home.

Arriving at her hotel room later that night, Kerry opens the door to see Lawson there, her eyes looking at him her question simple "Why?" Looking at her confused "why what?" Looking at him "why tell Shannon, why not let me know she knew but why tell her?"

Walking over to Kerry and looking her in the eye "I'm sorry, but she cornered me this morning, and it came out" then nodding "I should of told you, but was going to tell you tonight"

Looking him in the eye "Lawson this isn't going to work out, the whole squad will know now" then shaking her head "I cant do it" before turning away from him

Walking over to her, turning her to face him "We can work this out Kerry, don't give up on us" Looking up at him "I don't see we have any other choice Lawson"

Feeling Lawson's eyes upon her, she looks away from him, feeling his hand on her chin, gently pulling her face around to face him "Look me in the eyes Kerry, and tell me you don't want me, or want a relationship with me"

Her eyes darting around before looking him in the eyes briefly "I don't"

Shaking his head "You can't do it can you?

Looking into Lawson's face "It makes no difference Lawson, if I want to be with you or not, or if I love you, it won't work out between us, there's too many obstacles, the major one we both work in the same squad and I'm your boss. Go back to Shannon, and have the relationship you deserve"

Holding Kerry's gaze "We can work through them, just give us a chance, I'll leave TR, if that is what it takes" "No" the words firm "that would be silly Lawson, don't give it up because of me, you love TR." Holding her gaze "I love you too Kerry," shaking her head "no you don't"

Seeing Lawson look at her "why turn up at my place last night" Looking at him her eyes slightly down "it was a mistake Lawson, it never should of happened". Watching Kerry "You know as well as I do it wasn't a mistake, and we both wanted it to happen"

Shrugging "maybe but it makes no difference now, it just won't work out between us" turning away from him, walking towards the bedroom "I'm tired, i'll see you tomorrow at work" closing the door behind her.

Hearing the front door close, she opens the bedroom door slightly, looking around there is no sign of Lawson, getting a glass of wine, she sits on the lounge, blinking back the tears that are threatening to form, damm Lawson, if only she wasn't head of TR, she would go out with him have a relationship, it is what she has wanted for years now, and here she is kicking him out of the hotel room. She was an idiot to think anything could happen or to have let something happen

Arriving at TR the following morning, Kerry looks around seeing both cars there, as tempting as it was to arrive later, no she is here now. Walking inside she sees Shannon walking out of the locker room, followed by Stella, glancing quickly that way she looks for Lawson, before turning away, seeing the glare from Shannon. Seeing Stella walk in front of Shannon, Kerry looks back at her.

Seeing Kerry walk into TR, Stella looks at Shannon, seeing the glare on her face, giving her friend a half smile, before looking back at Kerry, she used to like her boss, even if she was a hard arse, but now, she can't understand how or why Kerry did what she did, walking ahead of Shannon, Stella stares at Kerry, wanting to ask, to know what is happening between them. Seeing Kerry turn around again, Stella bites her lips her mouth moving around.

Seeing Stella watching her, "What Stella, I know you want to say something so just come out and say it" Looking at Kerry, could she say what she thought, usually she has no problem but that is with Lawson or someone, seeing Kerry raising her eyebrows at her, she shakes her head "nothing". Her eyes wide open "get out there then, your in TR 2 so stop standing around"

Watching Kerry walk away, like nothing happened, Stella calls out "There is something" seeing Kerry turn around her eyes on her "Why did you do it," seeing Kerry eyes open further and look past her, she continues "Why did you sleep with Lawson, when he is with Shannon and your their boss" Seeing Kerry walk closer to her she hold her position "Do you like working here?" Nodding at her, and holding her gaze yeah of course" as Kerry continues her voice low and firm "Then, If you want to stay in TR Stella, stay out of other peoples business, especially mine, and don't piss me off or you will find yourself looking for another job, or writing parking tickets at Moe" before turning away. Watching her walk away, Stella turns around, seeing the rest of TR standing there looking around no doubt hearing what she just said, with Lawson's glare upon her as he says "Stella" and a slight smile on Shannon's face as she watches her follow Lawson.

Following Lawson away from the others he turns around facing Stella "What" Lawson looking at Stella "I think you know..., what you did then was wrong" Glaring back at him raising her eyes " what you did wasn't?" Raising his eyes slightly at Stella "it's none if your business. You think the while squad knowing is the way to go. Kerry is your boss." Stella with a smirk "didn't stop you though. What you both did was wrong and she deserved to know. Not my problem if the whole team finds out about you both, ashamed of it are you"

Leaning closer to her "just think about what you do and say, Kerry doesn't want the whole team knowing" Looking at Lawson with a sly smile ""Too bad, did you think about what you were doing. Did you think no one would find out, I wonder if you thought at all"

Shannon walking up to them both "leave her alone Lawson she's not the one that's in the wrong" Glancing at his ex girlfriend "Shan leave, this is between Stel and me" Standing her ground her voice firm "no its between you and me and Stella being a friend. She didn't do anything wrong" then turning to Stel "go" then facing Lawson "your not punishing her or make her feel bad for what you and Kerry did." Looking at Shannon and the lack of expression towards him "that's not what this is about, if your such a good friend then make sure Stella, doesn't say anything she will regret to Kerry" Glaring at her ex "it wouldn't be anything Kerry didn't deserve" before walking off.

Watching Kerry walking into the communications room, Leon looks up at her, wondering if the rumours are true "What?" Shaking his head "Nothing, bad night" Turning away she walks into her office.

Walking out of TR later that day, as both TR cars come back, seeing Lawson glance her way, with a glare from Shannon and Stella the others turning away. Walking towards her car, she looks up as a car drives in, seeing two men in suits getting out, out of the corner of her eye, she sees Lawson walking closer to her, showing a badge to her "Inspector Vincent" Nodding she looks up at them, one of them David, the deputy commissioner, "what's this about?" "Is there somewhere we can talk" Nodding she locks her car walking away, feeling the eyes of her team following her, not the only one wondering what this is about.

Following them up the stairs, her mind wondering what was going on. Walking into the room, she looks around, it has been ages since she has been here, the room where she first met Lawson their meeting quite firey. Looking up at David she doesn't have to wait long.

Are hearing what he has to say, finishing with "This is a huge promotion for you so what do you say " Looking at David and Superintendent Fordham he eyes wide open, never expecting this not really needing to think "I'll take it" Nodding and smiling at her "good, you will start immediately, and Senior Sergeant Charlie Lewis, will join Tactical Response to take over" Shaking her head "no no no, Im very happy with my Senior Sergeant Lawson Blake, I don't need or want anyone else to take over" Looking at her in the eyes "That one is non negotiable Kerry, he's coming into the squad" Shaking her head her words firm "Im not taking a promotion for someone else to come in"

Walking towards Kerry, David looks her in the eyes "Kerry, the choice is simple here, take the promotion, or your under house arrest then witness protection" Seeing her mouth and eyes wide open at what he is saying "After what happened to Detective Finch and the recent events happening to you, this is the options for you"

Glaring at them "I really don't have much of a choice here then" feeling David's eyes upon her "you'll need to start in two days time" then walking towards the door "You can find your own way out" before walking downstairs. Heading to the locker room, she pauses a distance away, seeing Lawson there talking to Josh, closing her eyes briefly, knowing how Lawson will feel about it, the helpless she is feeling at not being able to do anything about it, hating not being in control

Walking into the locker room, Kerry sees Lawson, looking up at her, "Do you mind Josh" watching him walk out. Standing near Lawson leaning against the metal wall before walking over and sitting on the table she looks at him, knowing how hard it is to say this "I've been offered a promotion" seeing the surprise in his eyes, but not letting him say anything "I mightn't be here at the office as much or out on the road" then looking down slightly "They have appointed someone else to take over" before looking up at Lawson. His eyes focused on her "Your kidding"

Looking at Lawson "Lets just see what's he's like" her voice trying not to betray how she's feeling about it., "Is he in charge of TR" her eyes slightly down but still looking at him "he will be working here at base with you" Looking at her "That's not what I asked, do I answer to him, does he replace me or what" Looking up at Lawson seeing him looking at her, trying to show his emotions either "Not exactly" Looking at Kerry, not believing what he is hearing after everything they have gone through with TR "Do I report to him or not?"

Staring at Lawson, the question is simple and the answer is there, but she can't seem to say it, she doesn't want to say it or admit it, she wants him still in charge. Feeling Lawson's intense gaze upon her as he speaks "Its a simple question Kerry, but i get the answer" Nodding without saying anything she looks up at him as he continues his voice rising slightly "You get offered a great massive promotion, and the first thing you do, the first decision is to slot some new guy above me, do you even know who he is or anything about him"

All she can do is nod and whisper "No" how she wished she could tell him the truth, the only reason she said yes, that she wants him in charge of Tactical Response instead all she can do is nod as he continues "Do you want me to quit, do you hate me what's the deal here"

Shaking her head, this time she can answer "No, that would be ridiculous, Lawson please work with me here" wishing he did know her, that she wouldn't do this out of spite or anything, she wanted him in this squad more than anything, she would fight to have him stay, she would miss seeing him every day. Seeing him look at her "I have to think about it" Nodding as she moves from her spot, rubbing his arm "Please don't do anything you'll regret, work with me here, I want you to stay" looking at him before she walks out

Hopping in the car, she bangs the wheel closing her eyes briefly, knowing Lawson would be hurt by it all, and there is nothing she can do about it. Arriving back at the hotel, she gets out the bottles of wine, pouring herself one drink after another walking out onto the balcony looking out over the city and the Yarra River, how she wished she just could turn back time.

Walking into TR the following morning Kerry takes a deep breath, not getting much sleep and drinking way too much last night. Walking into the communications room, she sees Leon, turn around looking at her raising her eyes at him, she motions for him to join her as she walks towards the locker room.

Seeing everyone getting ready, she walks in, the glare from Shannon still there, and not much better from Lawson, walking to the table she sits down "I don't know if Lawson has told you this" seeing Lawson shake his head she continues "I've been offered a promotion" seeing the surprise on their faces, and hope on Shannon's, he eyes fixed on a point avoiding Lawson as she continues "Senior Sergeant Charlie Lewis will be coming into the squad to take over from me" Looking at Stella as she hears her voice "When" Looking at her "tomorrow?"

Feeling Josh's intense gaze upon her "Why have someone else come in, why not Lawson take over?" Looking at Josh, she would love to tell the team the truth, she was pushed into the promotion, feel some excitement over it, why couldn't Lawson take over, instead she replies "Just give him a chance, lets see what he's like"

Getting up off the table "my last day will as Inspector here, will be Friday, I will still be overseeing TR, but not running it" looking around she gets up walking out.

Walking back towards the coms room, she hears Josh calling out, turning around in no mood to answer his questions "Was it your choice to slot some new guy in above Lawson, for him to take over from you?" Closing her eyes very briefly, she nods "yes" Feeling Josh's intense gaze upon her as she leans in close to her "After everything he's done for you, all the work he's put into TR, you get a massive promotion, and you go and appoint some new guy into TR" Staring at Josh her face void of emotion "Is that it?"

Shaking his head at her "Is this payback to Lawson or something?" before he can continue her voice full of anger and loud "Josh piss off, get out of here now" walking away, hearing Josh's voice call out "if you want Lawson to leave TR, then your going the right way, I never thought you'd be like this" trying to ignore him she turns around her eyes flashing in anger her voice loud "Piss off Josh, or you'll find yourself out of TR, do you ever think there is more to it" walking away glaring at Leon who is looking at her "what" as she walks towards her desk,

Out on the road the following day, Stella glances at Lawson deep in thought, even though she was still angry and mad at him, she felt sorry for him, looking at him, she thought he and Kerry were going out, maybe they were and this was her payback. Looking at him "Did you know about his?" Shaking his head, still staring straight ahead "I found out yesterday"

"So does this mean you and Kerry aren't going out?" Glaring at her not answering her question "Just drive Stel"

A short time later, Stella glances at Lawson again "Why do we need someone new, why can't you take over, we pretty much do everything ourselves, why bring in some new guy, we managed without Kerry before she came, we can manage now" the same thoughts crossed Lawson's mind, he wish he knew what was going on, but Kerry was tight mouthed about it, saying nothing. "I dunno Stella, i don't know what is going on" Hearing Christians voice from the back seat "Do you know anything about this new guy, where's he from" Shaking his head, his reply short "No, i don't know anything, as i said Kerry hasn't told me much"

Looking straight ahead Stella can't help herself "Maybe it is payback with Kerry, did you dump her after screwing her" Glaring at Stella talking through gritted teeth "Drive, it was a one night stand" shaking his head "its none of your business what happened, so piss off" Smiling at him not backing down "I'd say it was more a two night one" seeing the anger building up in him "ok, i won't say anything else" glancing at Christian in the rear view mirror whose trying not to laugh.

Walking out of TR after the shift, Lawson bumps into Josh who looks at him "Pub" nodding "yep, got no where else to go, no girlfriend, and a boss who seems to want me out of TR"

Getting their beers and walking over to a table, Lawson looks at Josh "Don't you have somewhere else you'd rather be" Shaking his head "Nah, Tash is working late this week"

Finishing quite a few drinks, Lawson looks at Josh "Maybe screwing Kerry wasn't such a good idea after all" Looking at Lawson, "You don't say" Looking around the pub before looking at Josh again "Who is this Senior Sergeant Lewis anyway, what does Kerry want me to do, throw a hissy fit and resign, I'm not going to give her the pleasure" Glancing at Lawson "Maybe she had no say in it" Thinking about what Josh said "Kerry has never held back in what she thinks, I think I have to do something to make it up to Shannon" Giving a short laugh at Lawson "No shit"

Seeing a guy walk into TR the following morning Stella looks at him "So your the new guy?" Glancing the attractive female talking to him, with attitude "Yeah thats me, Senior Sergeant Lewis" Seeing the glare in her eye "We don't need you here, so why don't you piss off" Smiling at her fiery attitude "and you are" Looking at him "someone who doesn't want you here, we don't need you" as she walks off to the locker room.


	21. Chapter 21  He is out

Storming into the locker room, Stella looks up "Just met Senior Sergeant Charlie Lewis, tell me why do we need someone, especially someone like him". Hearing footsteps into the locker room, they look up seeing Kerry there "guys meeting in 5" before walking out.

Walking back towards the communications room, Kerry bumps into Charlie again whose walking towards the locker room "Settling in ok" nodding at Kerry he had heard a bit about her, not all good either "After the meeting I want to talk to you and Lawson" before walking away.

Meeting the team for the first time, Charlie looks around, seeing Stella with a bored look on her face. Seeing Lawson standing next to him, he looks at him "You can move away" seeing him shake his head. Facing the team "I'm Senior Sergeant Lewis, I am now in charge of Tactical Response, Lawson will still be in charge of operational matters and on the road, but all decisions go through me now" Hearing a voice, he knows it is Stella "so you won't be out on the road then?"

Looking at her "I will still be out on the road, when need be, but not all the time, TR will be on call now, whatever comes through Kerry, we need to respond too straight away" Hearing Stella's voice again "That's what we do Charlie" Ignoring Stella's outburst "there will be a board put up each day, with whose in each car"

Finishing the meeting, Charlie turns to Lawson "Lawson" seeing him look at him "No relationships within my team, leads to problems, especially as a Senior Sergeant" Looking at Charlie giving a half laugh, wondering what he has heard "You and Shannon" Shaking his head at Charlie "Think you have your facts wrong, I'm not going out with Shannon" His eyes on Lawson, wondering if the rumours he had heard were true then, "You were" Rolling his eyes at Charlie "That's none of your business"

Walking down the corridor, Kerry sees Charlie with Lawson, walking up to them "take it you two have now talked" Lawson nods before turning to Charlie "Need to get your facts right" as he is about to walk away "What about you and Kerry then, I heard you two were fucking?" Rolling her eyes at him "I think you need to stop listening to things you hear Charlie, and get your facts right, especially if you want to stay in this team"

Looking at both Kerry and Lawson "I'm sure my facts and information is right" then looking at Lawson "with Lawson going out with Shannon and whatever with you, there is inter team relationships" then looking at both of them "whilst I'm here and in charge of TR they stop"

Taking a deep breath, Kerry walks up to Charlie her voice firm "Lets get some facts right Charlie, you are NOT in charge of TR, I still am, you are running the admin and here in the office more, any changes or anything to TR, do NOT happen by you, they get passed and run by me first" then looking him in the eye "Got it"

Looking at Kerry's face he nods before adding "I'm the one now running TR, not you Kerry"

Turning to face Charlie her eyes narrowing she shakes her head her voice controlling her anger "Charlie you are really starting to piss me off and you've just started" before walking away.

Watching Kerry walk away, pissed off, Lawson glances back at Charlie, now totally confused, if her outbursts and Charlie then, Lawson wonders how he got her, obvious that Kerry doesn't want him. Only one way to find out, he needs to speak to her, and soon.

Seeing Kerry go into her office and pick up her bag, before walking out, Leon calls out "You going out?" turning towards him "I'm on my phone" turning to face Kerry "where are you going" Determination in her voice "to get rid of Charlie, I don't need him or want him in our team" before storming out of TR.

Trying to contain a smile on his face Leon sees Lawson walking towards him "Kerry around?" shaking his head "No". Turning to walk back out "let me know when she's back?" Calling out after him "Don't you want to know where she's gone" facing Leon in no mood for his games "Not really", seeing the smile on his face "Are you sure about that". Walking back towards the intel officer "Just tell me what you want to Leon"

Looking up at Lawson "Kerry's going to have a fight with someone", seeing Lawson raise his eyes in slight surprise "want me to spell it out, Kerry is going to get rid of Charlie Lewis from TR", seeing the surprise on Lawson's face as he looks at him before walking out to TR, seems his suspicions were right, she didn't want him here, but why is he. Seeing Charlie, walk up to him "Lawson, we need to talk" Looking at Charlie again "What this time Charlie, I need to get out on the road".

Looking at the Senior Sergeant if he was Lawson he would be pissed off too "I meant what I said before your still in charge of TR out on the road, operations" Nodding "so you said" as Charlie continues "I want us to work together as a team" Looking at Charlie "Obviously, Have you done the training" Seeing Charlie nod, before walking away.

Walking away after the meeting Stella turns to the team "Who picked a jerk like that we don't need him in our team. Things were fine without him" Looking at Charlie's retreating back, Lawson agrees with her, wondering why on earth Kerry choose him to be in TR and what was going on with her.

Storming into the Deputy commissioners office, David looks up at Kerry "I want Charlie Lewis out of my squad, I'm not going to lose my most valuable team member"

Looking at Kerry slightly amused "I take it you mean Senior Sergeant Lawson Blake"

Nodding at David "Charlie is... he is the most arrogant piece of"

Hearing Kerry rant, David tries to keep the smile from his face "I seem to recall you saying that about another Senior Sergeant, your getting on better then"

Leaning down towards David's face "Lawson is still arrogant and a smart ***, I'm not going to loose him from my team"

Looking up at Kerry, amused at her outburst, he sees the glare on her face. "You've changed your tune about Lawson then from what I remember you had some very choice words about him too, so you probably will with Charlie too"

Glaring at David her words firm and slightly fierce "I want Charlie out" looking at Kerry, her blue eyes sparkling, her eyes narrowing even when she's angry she is quite cute and beautiful "He's out of my team, I'm not loosing my most Senior officer"

Hearing a voice coming from the door, Kerry turns to see Inspector Fordham standing there "Lose him" Turning to face him, her voice filling with anger and slightly rising shaking her head "You can not just bring some new guy into my team, this isn't about me, you have no idea" Interruping her "We have followed procedures Kerry, Charlie.." Interrupting the inspector, her voice full of fire and anger "Procedure, you want to talk about procedures, stuff that, what about teamwork, working together, you have no idea of that, you are tearing my team apart, losing my officers" then facing him closeer pointing her hands at him "that is not going to happen"

Ignoring her outburst "You know the deal Kerry, he stays or your out, but either way he stays"

Facing both of them her voice rising with more and more anger and frustration "One step out of line one wrong move, and he is out of my squad and writing parking tickets at Alice Springs" slamming the door behind her on her way out. Hearing footsteps behind her she swings around, seeing David there calling after her softly "Kerry" seeing the glare on her face "Do you want to get a drink and a bite to eat later" Looking at him in surprise, she didn't know what to say, shaking her head "I don't think so".

Looking at her standing before him, he had liked her, since the drinks with the commissioner all those years ago, when she knocked him back then, when he was only superintendent, "Kerry its only a drink" Looking at David "I know, its, I've just got a lot on now" Nodding at her "I'm not Lawson" Looking up at him "what?"

Looking her in the eyes that have the edge to it again "I've heard the rumours that you and Lawson…"

Running her hands over her face her voice with an edge to it "I'm not with Lawson and that really is no ones business and really pissing me off" then her voice softer, "that's not the reason. I'm just not interested"

Looking into her eyes "Its just a drink Kerry nothing else" Holding his gaze "Going to get Charlie Lewis out of my squad then?" Shaking his head "I wish I could Kerry, but my hands are tied, I wish I could but I can't"

Nodding and biting her lip "Meet me at Docklands at 6.30" before walking out.

Driving around in TR1 with Stella and Christian, Lawson is brought out of his thoughts by Stella's voice "Is Charlie here to stay, can't Kerry get rid of him" Glancing at her "She's having a brawl with someone now to get rid of him" Glancing quickly at Lawson "hope she can, we don't need someone else or new in TR, we're find by ourselves." Nodding, he can't help but agree with Stella, wondering if Kerry did get her way, her powers of persuasion were pretty good along with talking her way out of most things, wondering if he got it all wrong, maybe it wasn't her doing or anything, there was only one way to find out.

Arriving back at base later that afternoon, Lawson walks towards the communications room, seeing Leon at the screen and Charlie near by "where's Kerry" seeing Leon point to her office, Lawson turns away not before hearing Charlie's voice "what do you need Kerry for, she's not running TR anymore" ignoring him, walking towards her office he knocks on the door before entering seeing her look up at him in surprise "What's the deal here Kerry, what's going on?"

Looking up at Lawson, bursting into her office as he closes the door behind her "Talk to me Kerry, what's going on here, you don't want Charlie here anymore than the rest of us. So who put him in charge of TR"

Looking up at Lawson, how she wants to tell him the truth, and Charlie's outburst today, didn't help matters either, she wishes she could explain even partly to him "he's here to stay Lawson, just give it a chance?"

Sitting down opposite her, looking into her blue eyes "I know you don't want him here either Kerry, so why is he staying" Looking back at him, trying not to give in to him "He just is Lawson, there is more going on here" then shaking her head as she's said too much ,

Looking into her eyes "it's to do with this promotion you got" Her eyes darting around her office before looking briefly at Lawson "What ever you think you might know, forget it, don't try to work it out" then more gently "Just don't do anything you'll regret" reaching out for his arm "I want you here"

Walking out of her office later that afternoon she calls out to Leon "I'll be on my mobile if you need me" Arriving at Docklands, David looks around, seeing Kerry walk towards him a smile on her face, he can't help but smile back at her, he doubt she realises what an affect she has on guys especially him, when she smiles her whole face lighting up, how he wishes he could put his arms around her, his lips on hers, she had already knocked him back years ago at the commissioners drinks. He knew that her and Detective Finch were going out, until he was killed, and she was there. He knew she was hard to work for, but fierce and loyal to her team. Looking up he sees her nearly there, walking side by side in silence, until they get to the bar. Ordering a drink, before walking over to the table overlooking the bay.

Seeing David looking at her, she raises her eyes at him, sipping her drink slowly, maybe she should of said dinner instead, she doesn't need him or anyone else knowing that she has a drinking problem, that alcohol is her solution to most things, and that Lawson especially thinks she drinks too much. Finishing her drink, she orders a bottle of wine, the taste of the alcohol in her, helping her nerves slightly. Looking at David "whose idea was it to have Charlie in my team?" Looking back at her "He can't be that bad" seeing her raise her eyebrows at him "no he's worse, you couldn't of picked a more arrogant, self obsessed person if you tried" Giving her a short laugh "Given the fact your partner Detective Finch was killed, James in witness protection, the attempts on your life, they decided that action had to be taken" Leaning closer to David "Who" Shaking his head "It doesn't matter who Kerry, the facts are the same, you can count yourself lucky they are still letting you work atTR"

Rolling her eyes at him "Sometimes I wonder"

Watching her finish her drinks quickly, David doesn't say anything, he had heard rumours about her drinking, especially after she hit the cyclist and had forced leave for a few days . Finishing the bottle of wine a couple of hours later, she stands up, looking at David "Thanks for the drinks" Watching her stand up, concern on his face "Your not driving" Staring at his face her words firm "I'm fine" Standing up "Let me drive you back to your hotel?" Shaking her head "David, I'm fine, I'll see you later" then looking at him "Just get rid of Charlie for me"

Watching her walk out of the bar, he is amazed she can walk in a straight line, after drinking the bottle of wine within 1 ½ hours, despite her insisting she was fine, he can't help but worry, running after her, he reaches for her arm "Kerry let me drive you home" Spinning around "David I'm fine, I don't need you to drive me home or to do anything for me, you've done enough already". Her last few words her voice more fierce he can't help but feel helpless, seeing her drop her car keys he picks them up seeing her reach out for them her voice with an edge to it "David give me my keys" Shaking her head "I can't Kerry, I'll walk you back to the hotel"

Pushing him away from her "I don't need you to walk ot anything from you" Putting his hands on her shoulders he spins her around to face her "Kerry stop being so stubborn, and stupid, your not driving or walking by yourself, so shut up and walk"

Turning away from him, she starts to walk back to the hotel, stopping at the doorway she turns to David "You've walked me home, so give me my bloody keys back" Shaking his head "I'll come and pick you up in the morning and give you them back them" seeing her look up at him he moves his lips down to meet hers, feeling her lips upon his briefly before she pushes him away "What are you doing?"

Looking her in the eyes "What does it look like, Kerry I like you, I can't help how I feel I want to kiss you and more" seeing the surprise and shock in her eyes and face.

Hearing the words our of David's mouth, Kerry is surprised she wondered why he wanted to go out with her. Looking at David quickly, she isn't interested in him that way, if she was honest she still wanted and loved Lawson, wondering if she could use it to her advantage, seeing her look back at him a small smile on her face as she leans back up and kisses him.

Taking his hand, as they move away from the reception/foyer area, they hop in the lift going up to her room. Taking a deep breath, she looks into his eyes, feeling his arms wrap around her, drawing her towards him, as she feels his lips upon hers, taking all of her effort to kiss him back as they move over to the lounge.

Feeling his arms and hands move around her body, and under her top, she tries not to flinch, looking him in the eye "If I have sex with you, will you get rid of Charlie for me out of my squad?"


	22. Chapter 22  Things aren't done

_**Thanks for the reviews not many chapters left now, so hope you enjoy the remaining ones as much as I love writing them**_

…

Pulling away from Kerry and looking at her "Is that why your doing this, to use me to get rid of Charlie" Her blue eyes looking sideways before looking back at him leaning back down to kiss him, the feeling of being wanted and liked outweighing the fact that she doesn't like him or want to be with him, wrapping her arms around him, pulling him towards her "What does it matter why I'm doing this, your not complaining" as she starts to unbutton his shirt.

Feeling her lips against his, and her hands around his chest, trying to listen to his head. Undoing her shirt, and taking it off her, he takes a deep breath trying to control his breathing as he sees her naked body. Moving her over to the bed, he gently lowers her down, feeling him on top of her, as he makes love to her.

Feeling David making love to her, her eyes closed she can't do this, not even if she got rid of Charlie, it isn't her, its not who she is, not even at her lowest moments in the past had she done this, using someone for her own benefits, yes she had used people, but not like this, not cheapening herself and feeling dirty. Not wanting to go to a place like she was with Boyd, being in a place she felt she had no choice felt she owed him something, nothing is worth that again not even the thought of getting Charlie at what price, with images of Lawson in her head, what if he found out. Pushing him away from her she sees him looking down at her "I can't do this David" then her voice soft more to herself "not even if you got rid of Charlie" her voice louder again, "I'm just not interested" Moving off her did he hear her right "That's what this is all about, you thought if you had sex with me, I would get Charlie out of your squad" then shaking his head "Your not the person I thought you were Kerry"

Getting off the bed and walking over to the fridge, getting a drink, she looks at David feeling slightly guilty shaking her head "That's not the reason, You're a nice guy, I thought I could do it, and I can't, I feel dirty already"

Looking up at him watching him get off her bed, and put his clothes on, her voice firm "David just leave", before turning way to get her clothes

After finishing getting dressed David glances at Kerry, her back to him, the way she is acting is more like a child than the person she is, despite what she said, he doesn't believe that is really her, but wondering how much he does know her, their encounters brief and not often. Turning around to face her, he sees her watch him walk towards the door, no smile on her face, but neutral.

Seeing him walk out of the door, she looks around. Sitting down on the couch, she brings her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them, trying to get her breathing under control, getting up and walking to the shower, as the water runs over her body, leaning against the wall, as the tears fall down, how has her life become such a mess, what has she just done, trying to wash the night away, she slides down to the floor as the water runs over her body.

Getting out of the shower, walking over to the fridge, getting a bottle of wine out, walking out to the balcony looking over the river, not even bothering with a glass, the liquid refreshing down her throat, just what she needed.

Hearing a knock on the door the following morning, Kerry quickly gets up, looking at the clock "oh shit" she had forgot to set the alarm, opening the door she sees David standing there. Seeing him standing there, slight memories of the night before coming back, looking at him "what are you doing here"

Holding up her car keys "I forgot to leave these here, after all?" Looking at him wondering if he is telling the truth and why he had come back "so where's my car?" Seeing him raise his eyes at her comment "have a bit too much to drink last night" Her head not the best and in no mood "Shit David, just tell me where my car is?" Looking at her wondering if her words are meant for him directly or just the way she is feeling or just her "Get dressed Kerry, and I'll take you, I'll meet you downstairs in 20 minutes, even so you'll be late for work"

Nodding and trying to roll her eyes again as he walks out, "Its at a carpark at Docklands I think, I don't need you to take me." As she walks away, "I don't have any hours to keep now office hours now, and Senior Sergeant dickhead Lewis, can see how well he can handle TR."

Watching her walk away he calls out "I'm still taking you Kerry, your not walking around by yourself"

Calling out to him "I've done it all my life, and I will continue too, I'm not scared of some gutless person, who has no balls" Shaking his head at her comment, he wonders what it will take to get through to her.

Looking up David sees Kerry get out of the lift, he would love just to stare at her, he would love just to be with her, despite last night, she really is beautiful, even in her leather jacket and jeans. Seeing her next to him her breath still smelling of alcohol "Ready, sure your able to drive" Glaring slightly at him "I'm fine, Just tell me where my car is" Turning to face her "Kerry, I wouldn't be doing my job properly or looking after my officers, if I didn't ask or if something happened. I don't think you should be driving"

Looking at him back her face determined "David I'm fine, just take me to my car, or I will walk there, I'm driving to work I'm not drunk or hungover" Before adding ":its not like I get to go out or even handle a gun now" following him out.

Hearing Kerry's last sentence, he can't help but feel sorry for her, all of this taking its toll on her, her son in witness protection, her partner killed whilst she watched everything and part of her job now taken away from her "I'm sorry Kerry, if there was any other way or if I could get rid of Charlie I would you know" Looking up at him, giving him a smile, "I could just shoot him"

Arriving at TR a short while afterwards, she walks in, feeling dreadful, heading to her office, seeing Charlie "your late?" Rolling her eyes at him "piss off" before walking away from him. Trying to hide a smile, Leon turns back to the computer typing away, hearing Charlie "She really doesn't want me here" as he hears Leon laugh "you catch on really quick" Looking at the office "she will just have to get used to it"

**ONE MONTH LATER**

Watching Stella walk out of TR, Charlie is intrigued by her, part of him, would love to ask her out he had never felt like that about any officer before always thinking it lead to more trouble working together, but the one thing he has found out, is she doesn't really go out with guys. Despite that, he wants to find out more about her, calling out "Stella, want to go to the pub?"

Seeing her turn around in surprise "with you" Looking at her "Who else?" Seeing her look at him suspiciously "Why me" Taking a deep breath "Don't turn this more than what it is, I just want a drink, and I know you like drinking" Smiling at him "you got that right, as long as you buy the drinks, your on"

Seeing Shannon alone in the locker room with no one around, Lawson walks up to her "Shan, want to get a drink" Not even looking at him "Get our of my way Lawson" Touching her arm "Please Shannon, I hate the way it is between us" Looking up at him "You should of thought of that before you slept with Kerry"

Looking at his ex girlfriend "Just a drink" looking at Lawson "one here at base" Nodding and smiling at his ex girlfriend, he picks up his bag walking out.

Sitting at the table, he looks at Shannon "How have you been" Shrugging at him "fine, I've moved Lawson, I'm still angry at you and Kerry, and don't understand how either of you could do that, but I'm not going to dwell on it, and I'm not leaving TR."

Wanting to touch Shannon "I'm sorry, and I don't know what more I can say Shan, I'm not with Kerry, it was a mistake" even as those words came out he knew it wasn't the truth, it was far from a mistake and if things had worked out he would be with Kerry. The guilt her felt about the way he treated Shannon though was there. "Maybe one day we can be friends again" Smiling at Lawson, she wanted that, but at the moment the hurt was still there "I need time Lawson, you and Kerry hurt me a lot, maybe if it was only once I could of forgiven you and worked things out, but it wasn't just one night or once, it was a few times, or more" Looking at Shannon and seeing the hurt in her eyes "I still love you Shan" Staring back at Lawson "the sad thing is I still love you too Lawson" then shaking her head "but it isn't enough not at the moment" then finishing her drink, she gets up, touching him on the arm "who knows what the future holds, see you tomorrow"

…

A few weeks later…..Putting the phone down, Charlie looks around, even over a month later, and they still are not that welcoming of him, there loyalty to Kerry and Lawson so obvious.

Putting on the headphone set "Lawson, Michael and Shannon, come back to base"

Walking out to them a while later, as they arrive back to base, he walks with them "need you to get to 21 Holtz Street, Moonee Ponds, you need casual clothes with your vest, camera and coms still"

Lawson Looks at Charlie waiting for more information "Is that all we're given, we need more details than that Charlie"

Looking around at the team "You will get briefed more when you arrive, it's a safe house, take the unmarked car, silent approach"

Shaking his head at Charlie, as they get ready, walking out a few minutes later.

Arriving at the address 10 minutes later Lawson looks around, walking up to the front door, knocking on it, they are ushered in.

Walking inside, Lawson stops in his tracks as he sees a guy walking out of the bedroom, closing his eyes and opening them again "James?" Looking up at his name mentioned Lawson can see the toll this is taking on him "Lawson" then walking over to him, finally someone who can answer what he needs to know "How's mum?"

Knowing Kerry wouldn't want James to worry or to know "She's coping and fine" Looking at Lawson in the eyes "this is tearing her apart isn't it, how's she going with that guy she was seeing being killed?" Looking at James in surprise at what he knew "I over heard them talking and found out and asked?"

Nodding "she's getting there, she worries about you?" His eyes down "I wish this had never happened, I never wanted to put her through any of this"

Walking away from James, towards one of the under covers "Lawson, we're moving James to another safe house we need to get him out of Melbourne"

Nodding "wouldn't it be better to do in the middle of the night?" Shaking his head "we think it's been compromised and need to get him out this evening as soon as we can, we need cameras set up outside and around the house" After checking with Leon, all the cameras are up and in position.

A couple of hours later, Lawson turns to Shannon and Michael to ensure it is safe to leave, watching the undercover cop Lisa and Andrew walk out the front, while Shannon and Michael go out the back, hearing gun shots, Lawson turns to speak to James before getting his gun, walking out the back door he looks around, into his com "Shan Michael" walking around to the side of the house "Leon, get the" walking out he looks down on the ground he feels a gun to his head unable to finish the sentence

Back at base, Leon is watching the camera, then into his com "Shannon, Lawson Michael" after repeating their name a few times, he calls out to Charlie turning to him "I can't get onto TR1, Lawson started now nothing" Looking at the screen "anyone, get the cameras up"

Not even looking at Charlie "already getting them up" seeing Charlie looking at them "get Josh and Stella there now, I'll meet them there" before racing out to TR.

Walking out of the office seeing Charlie running out of TR "What's up Charlie" not even looking at Kerry "Not now Kerry" looking at the screen "whose cameras are those" not even looking at Kerry "Shannon, Michael" looking closer at the screen "where's Lawson then?" not wanting to look at Kerry to answer the question as the no input comes up on the screen "OH shit, where are they?"

Taking a deep breath before answering the question "At a safe house" leaning down closer to Leon even asking the question she knew the answer "whose safe house?" Not even looking at her his voice soft "James" her voice loud and filled with fear "Where is he?"

Arriving at the address about 5 minutes later, Stella and Josh, see Charlie pull up "uniforms are on there way" Walking inside the yard, Stella sees the two under covers on the ground, leaning down, she feels for a pulse, shaking her head, before walking towards the side of the house.

Seeing the GD's arrive, Charlie motions for two to follow him inside, with one staying out the front, the other with Stella and Josh.

Back at TR, Leon looks up at Kerry, the fear and shock on her face with the headset on she can see Shannon and Michael lying on the driveway, both still and Charlie walking around inside "Where's Lawson?" then into her com trying to keep the fear from her voice "Charlie, is James there"

Walking down the driveway towards the back near the steps Stella runs forwards, seeing Michael and Shannon on the ground into her com "Officers down, officers down, Leon we need ambulances now?"

Looking around, Charlie dreads the words he has to tell Kerry "there not here?"


	23. Chapter 23  Day to forget

Looking up at Kerry's face, Leon sees the fear and shock filter across her face briefly.

Hearing the words from Charlie, it is what she dreaded, how could it happen, how can two of her officers be shot, and one officer missing and her son missing, what the hell happened, how did it all turn to shit, seeing Leon looking at her, her eyes fixed on the camera, her mouth still open. Watching Stella kneel down to Michael and Shannon

…..

Looking up at Josh, Stella kneels down feeling for a pulse on Shannon "I've got a faint pulse" before running over to Josh with Michael, looking up at Stella "I can't feel a pulse, get the medi kit"

Looking down at Michael, she sees Josh looking up at her, his voice louder and firmer bringing her back to the present "Stel, the medi kit"

Racing out to the car going into over drive, her thoughts back to Michael, how could all of this happen, not Michael and not Shannon, Stella into her com "how far away is the ambulance Leon?" Racing back to Michael, she kneels down, taking out the bandages, and supporting his neck, and trying to stop the blood flowing before whispering "Breathe Michael, c'mon Breathe, don't you dare die on me" Closing her eyes, praying and hoping that he will be ok.

….

Watching it all on screen, her eyes glued to the screen, hearing every word the whispers of Stella, her hands brought up to her face, running over her mouth, the shock still on her face, feeling so helpless, turning to Leon "I'll be on my phone"

Watching Kerry leave, Leon calls out "Where are you going" not even looking at him "where do you think". Shaking his head and calling out to her "You can't go out there Kerry", not even turning around "I like to see them stop me" before tearing off in her car. Smiling at the computer Leon watches as Kerry tears out of the car park, he would like to see someone stop or say no to her, see if anyone would dare do it, without having their head bitten off or coming out in one piece.

…..

Hearing the ambulance arrive Stella looks up as she sees the paramedics come down to the back path, moving away, she watches as they get to work on Michael, kneeling next to Shannon, feeling her pulse still very weak into her com "Leon, where's the other ambulance" before leaning down to her friend "c'mon Shan, hang in there, it won't be long now" Seeing Shannon smiling weakly at Stella as she tries to open her eyes. Feeling Stella's hand upon her trying to stem the blood, her eyes looking around trying to focus as she whispers "how's Michael" Trying to hold back the tears in her eyes she looks down at her friend "Shh don't try to talk, save your energy"

Looking up at Stella "Stel…." Trying to smile "you'll both be fine", hoping her words are true.

Looking up seeing Charlie come out from inside he looks around then into his com "Kerry?" not getting an answer "Kerry?" hearing Leon's voice come through "Kerry's not here, she's on her way out there".

Shaking his head, he gets out his phone, dialling Kerry's number, hearing it go straight to message bank.

Looking down seeing Shannon lying there and the paramedics working on Michael he wonders how all of this happened, and where Lawson and James are.

Turning to Josh and Stella "either of them conscious?" Seeing them shake their head as Josh talks "Shannon just has a pulse and is going in and out of consciousness, Michael doesn't" Nodding before going "I need answers, I need to know where Lawson is and James, and what the fuck happened here."

Looking up from Shannon and glaring at Charlie, Stella doesn't control her voice "I'm sure there sorry they can't answer you Charlie, why not look at yourself as TR leader"

Hearing the ambulance arrives, Stella looks up as the paramedics hurry down the path, moving away she watches as they both work on Shannon and Michael

…

Pulling up at the address, Kerry gets out of the car, looking around, she sees police officers everywhere, walking inside the front gate, she sees the two bodies of the undercover officers, covered up, Hearing her name she looks up as she sees Superintendant Mills walking over "Kerry what are you doing here, you know your not meant to leave base" Her eyes glaring and anger in them "oh shit Damian, my son Is missing, two officers shot, one officer missing, you really think I will seat back at base, I'm not going anywhere" before walking off.

Walking after her, he puts his arms on her shoulder "Kerry just be careful, we have no idea what happened here" then looking at her clothing "Shit Kerry, you don't even have a vest on" Looking up at him "What will that say to people, that I am scared" Leaning closer to her "Look around you Kerry, look what's happened, Get a bullet proof vest on now or I will have you escorted back to base" Looking up into his eyes about to say something, she walks back to the car, if truth be told, she should of put one on, but just forgot.

Walking around the back, she sees the paramedics working on Michael, walking over to Charlie "what happened?" Shaking his head "Still trying to work it out, no sign of Lawson or James"

Walking over to Josh, she taps on his shoulder "How are they?"

Seeing Stella turn around her voice full of anger "What do you expect Kerry, this is all your fault, if it wasn't for your druggie of a son, they wouldn't be here, none of this would of happened, Michael wouldn't be fighting for his life"

Hearing Stella have a go at Kerry, Charlie walks over to her "That's enough Stel, if you can't cope with this, go to the car?" Glaring at Charlie and Kerry, her words firm "I'm staying"

Looking at Stella, Kerry is lost for words, she does feel like this is her fault, all of this is happening because of her, looking down at her two officers lying there, she hears one of them call out "we've got a pulse" then looking up at them "we're transporting them to hospital now". Not even looking at her superiors, Stella looks at Michael "I'm going with him" before hopping in the ambulance with Michael.

Looking at the officers working on Shannon, Kerry waits to hear what they say "she has a faint pulse, and we have controlled the bleeding so far, we need to get her to hospital straight away."

Walking away from them Kerry into her com "I want all the footage, from the place, go through it all, every camera, I want to find out how did this, number plates on cars. Let me know as soon as you find out. Get onto the hospitals to see if they have turned up there." Turning to Christian and Charlie "Cordon off the area, and door knock on every house, someone must have heard something" before walking inside.

Walking throughout the house, Kerry looks around, any sign, nothing, walking into the bedroom, she sees James clothes lying around, picking up a top she brings it up to her nose, the closest she had come to her son for months now, and now she didn't have a clue where he was, picking up his shoes, she tosses them across the room, the frustration, fear and anger at it all, the uncertainity of it all.

Hearing Leon's voice come through the coms a short time later "I'm sending through the information to the cars"

Walking away from it all, Kerry into her com her voice firm "Leon, what have you found out"

Wondering what he should say, should he give the information to Kerry, knowing what she might do with it, should he tell her what he knew. Hearing her voice getting louder "Leon"

Hearing Christian's voice through the com "Leon, I need a reg check on a Subaru, red reg Bravo Yanakie, Whiskey 687"

Walking up to Charlie, Christians sees Kerry walking out of the house coming towards them "People saw a red they think Subaru driving away at speed maybe an hour or so ago, they didn't get a look but heard gun shots and saw the car speed away." Seeing Kerry next to him "Did they see anyone being forced into the car" shaking his head at his boss "no, they were too scared to come outside, they heard the tyres, no one really got a good look"

Hearing Leon's voice into the com's "Josh, Charlie, the car belongs to a Joe Carnigie, off 88 Rosedale Street, Seddon, the camera around the place I've matched the images, one of them to Joe Carnigie, the other two are Pete Clements, and Brett Machandore, I'll send through all the details now"

Seeing Kerry hurrying away after receiving the last piece of information, Josh quickly hurries after her, opening the passenger side door, getting in as the car is taking off. Turning to face her "Kerry don't do it" Her eyes firmly on the road ahead ignoring Josh in the seat opposite her "Kerry don't do something stupid again, think about what your going to do"

Pulling up at the house a short time later, taking the gun from her hip, she walks up to the front door, knocking on the door she sees a female answering it, pushing her way in "Police".

Finding out the females name from Leon she turns to her "Where's Joe?" Shaking her head "I don't know" Leaning down closer to her "Bullshit" her voice firmer "where's Joe" seeing her mobile on the table she walks over to it, picking it up hearing a voice "Hey you can't do that, that's my phone"

Into her phone "Leon, I want a trace on the number I'm about to ring 0437 114 257" Ringing the number on the phone, it isn't long before the phone is answered, after hearing the males voice "Its not Kristy, Its Superintendent Vincent, I've got your girlfriend her" Hearing Joe's voice on the phone "If you hurt Kristy…." Interrupting him "Give me back my son and my officer"

"Leave Kristy our of this, if you want to see either of them again….." Joe starts. Walking out of the house towards her car she moves the phone to the other ear "What is Kristy your wife, your girlfriend…" before walking back inside again lifting up her arm with the tyre lever she hears Kristy scream and yell out "Joe, just do what they want you to do"

Putting it down on the floor and seeing Josh quickly get it "Now give me back my son and officer, if you want to see your girlfriend again"

Turning to Josh "Search the house" seeing Josh look at her, her voice firm "Now". Turning around Josh is hesitant to leave Kerry there with Kristy.

Hearing Leon's voice come through "Kerry, I got a trace on the phone", she calls out to Josh, before getting Kristy and walking back to the car. Hearing Josh's voice in his com "Christian meet us there"

Hopping in the back seat with Kristy, Josh sees Kerry's eyes and face via the rear view mirror, as much as he wants his best mate back and to see the others in hospital, he knows the toll its taking on Kerry, and her trying to be in control and so tough.

Pulling up a short time later, Kerry sees TR2, along with Charlie there, seeing a red Subaru in the driveway, Kerry closes her eyes, walking over to the passenger seat, opening the door she grabs Kristy out of the car, turning to face her "Not a word, and don't try anything" before walking closer to the house.

…

Back at TR, Leon hears a noise, getting out of his seat, he walks towards the entry, looking around he can't see anyone, sure that someone was there, he is getting nervous, after everything has happened, with them all out of the road, he had already been shot at once ages ago with Audrey, walking back to his chair, slightly on edge, hearing the noise again. He goes to pick up the phone, when the noise is coming from Kerry's office. Looking around, for something to hit them with, the nerves there, he can't call Kerry or anyone. Taking a deep breath he goes to open the door to Kerry's office.


	24. Chapter 24  Finding Lawson

_**Thank you for the reviews **_

Watching from a small distance away, as the few remaining of her team storm the house, taking a deep breath, if Lawson isn't here, she has no idea what she will do or James. Watching as the front door is answered with a gun her eyes fixed on the scene before her, her grip tightening on Kristy. The sounds of "Put the gun down, police" fill the air around her. Walking slightly closer she hears Joe voice as he looks around "you shoot me, you will never find your senior Sergeant"

Hearing Kerry's voice into his com "Charlie, do not shoot him, get him out of the house some other way"

Rolling his eyes at Kerry, sure that it would be different if he was the one that had been kidnapped "We'll try our best" as soon as the words are out of his mouth, Kerry's voice firm "You'll do more than try if you want to stay in this squad"

Hearing Charlie's voice through her com "Josh see if you can get around the back, see what's there, put up some eyes around the place and be careful"

Walking closer Kerry watches Josh go around the back, turning to Kristy "If you know anything, you need to tell us now, Joe is in serious trouble here, kidnapping an officer and a kid of a police officer, is there any place that Joe likes going to, anywhere" Seeing Kristy shake her head "I don't know, Joe doesn't tell me much about this" Giving a short laugh "You know nothing about what he does" her voice rising "shit Kristy, my officer and son are missing, two team members shot, and another two officers killed, things are not looking good for your boyfriend, and if you have any part of it" Looking at the officer in front of her, Kristy wishes she could help her, but Joe isn't a guy to be crossed or talk much, she shakes her head at Kerry "I wish I could help you but I can't".

Hearing Josh's voice come through her com "got the eyes up, Leon, do you have a vision, there is nothing out the back"

Charlie into his com "Josh come back the front"

Seeing Kerry with a girl, Charlie walks towards her, nodding "who's this" "Kristy, Joe's girlfriend" Looking at Kerry then at Kristy a plan forms in his mind, as Josh walks up to him "Get the smoke bomb out of TR, then take some GD's out the back with you" then facing Kerry and Kristy "if that doesn't work you coming with me"

Walking quietly around the back of the house Josh into his com "In place" throwing it through the window, he sees the gas coming out of the ball as they have their guns raised.

Hearing a noise, as the back door opens, Josh moves forward with his gun poised "Get down on the ground" seeing Joe ignore him, he walks over, pushing him to the ground, into his com "we're got him." Pulling him up roughly the urge to thump the guy is there, to get where Lawson is, he would do anything.

Walking around the front, Kerry walks up to Joe "Your in deep shit here, where is Senior Sergeant Blake and James" seeing his lips tight, into her com "Charlie bring Kristy over" seeing his girlfriend walk over his eyes glaring at Kerry as Kristy looks into his eyes whispering "shit Joe, why did you have to do this, just tell them what they want" Looking at Kristy he remains silent as Kerry speaks "Kristy will be charged to an accessory to all of this" Smirking at Kerry "those charges won't stick with her" Seeing Kerry's gaze unwavering upon him "want to take a chance, kidnapping an officer and a police officers son, serious offences, they won't give up, you will be charged, there's footage Joe, you were caught at the scene you car left the scene, all the evidence points to you" then moving forward "You won't get away with it"

Shoving Kristy roughly back to Josh, she turns to Charlie "search the house" as she walks to the car, picking up the tyre lever, all rational thoughts going from her mind she looks at Joe and the lever, looking around, there is no other officers around. The only thing on her mind, finding Lawson the sense of right and wrong, gone from her mind, crossing the line not even a thought. Picking it up from her car, she walks the few steps back to Joe, not caring at the moment, of any consequences, not knowing what is right "One more chance, where is my son" Shaking his head "I don't know" giving one quick look around, she looks around lifting up her arm "where is my son and Lawson".

Watching Kerry walk back with the tyre lever, Josh calls out "Kerry don't" too late as her arms comes swinging down towards his knee" grabbing the tyre lever off her, he quickly puts it back in her car, shaking his head whispering to her "Kerry that was stupid" as she pulls Joe up from the ground "Get up" Glaring at Josh "You would of and have done the same thing" Shaking his head "No, and I'm not the boss of TR Kerry, this could be your career, if they find out"

….

Opening the door into Kerry's office, Leon looks up in surprise closing his eyes and opening them again "James?" Looking up at Leon staring at him in surprise "Is mum here?" Shaking his head he wonders how much James knows "what are you doing here?"

Looking up at Leon "Long story is mum around?" seeing Leon shaking his head "I'll let her know your ok"

…..

Hearing her phone ring, she sees Leon's name on it, walking away from answering it "yeah Leon" hearing what Leon said her eyes open in surprise as she closes her eyes in relief "I'll be there soon" hanging up her phone she stares at it, wondering why she didn't do it before then into her com "Leon, I'm going to call Lawson's phone, see if you can get a trace on it"

Walking inside the house Charlie turns to Christian and the GD's, "search everywhere, upstairs, downstairs, cupboards, anything."

Walking around, Christian hears a phone ringing turning to Charlie who nods as he hears Leon's voice coming through the coms "the phone is at the house where your at, I can't give you a better location, that is all its telling me"

Hearing Charlie's voice come through "can you ring it again Leon, keep ringing it, we can hear it inside here"

Following the ringing of the phone, Christian turns to Charlie "Its coming below, there has to be a cellar or something"

Pulling away the rugs and the furniture Christian calls out "Found it". Lifting the door of the floor, they shine the torch down leaning down and looking around into his com "there's no ladder, looks about a 2 and half metre maybe 3 metre drop"

Hearing Kerry's voice come through "do you see Lawson, Leon get an ambulance on standby"

Handing Kristy and Joe over to the GD's, before racing inside seeing Christian lying on the floor leaning down.

Shining the torch around she hears him yell out "I see someone down there, they're not moving"

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she can't loose Lawson, if it wasn't for James he wouldn't even been in this situation.

Getting up off the spot he turns to Charlie "I'm going down" hearing Charlie object he shakes his head, looking up he sees Josh walk in with is gear "I'm going down" not even waiting for Charlie to say anything, he jumps down. Racing over, he kneels down then into his com "I've got a pulse, weak Leon we need an ambulance urgently" walking away from Lawson he looks quickly around "Leon any plans on this house, we can't bring him out the way we got in, he's in a bad way"

Charlie looks at Kerry hearing the last words from Josh, the colour draining from her face then into his com "any sign of James" hearing the negative reply come through, he sees Kerry shake her head "James is safe, just concentrate on Lawson"

….

Seeing Lawson being brought out a short time later, Kerry looks at him, pale, trying to keep it together, just looking at him, his head, and face bruised, bones no doubt broken, his chest/ribs broken, he has to pull through. Needing to get away from it all she turns to her team "I'll meet you all at the hospital later on"

Hearing Josh's voice "Any word on Michael or Shannon yet?" Shaking her head "both still in surgery, Michael is in a pretty bad way" before walking out.

Driving back to base her thoughts back to Lawson, she needs to get to the hospital she needs to be with her team, part of her didn't even want to see her son, was he the cause of all of this.

Walking into base she walks into her office, seeing James standing there, relief flooding through her, she wants to walk over, pull him towards her, hug him, instead she stand there, her cop instincts taking over "shit James, what happened?"

Looking up at her mother "nice to see you too mum?". Walking over to him, she pulls him towards him, "James you need to tell me what happened, I have three of my team members in hospital, and another two police are dead" Staring at his mum "Katie and Andrew are dead?" Nodding at James as he continues "this is all my fault" looking up at his mother.

Hearing those words come out of his mouth, Kerry can't help but feel that is true, her team is in hospital, seriously injured, another two dead, Lawson just found, Lawson injured, all of this caused the person she loved so much and pushed away to she can't even bear to think of what is going to happen. Looking at James "I have to get to the hospital, stay here for the time being" before walking out.

…..

Walking into the hospital a short time later, she sees the remaining team members sitting down there "Any news Yet?" Seeing Josh shake his head, the glare on Stella upon her "Nice of you to finally turn up Kerry" Seeing Josh glare at her "Don't Stella, not now,…" as they see Tash enter the room.

Looking around at the TR team there, "Michael is out of theatre, the new isn't good, the bleeding was intensive, one of the gun shots, got a major artery, another gun shot was to his head. I'm sorry but Michael died."


	25. Chapter 25  Goodbye Michael

Looking around at the faces before her, Tash looked closely at Josh, she knew how close her boyfriend was to Michael, and he would take it hard, wanting to walk over to him, draw him towards her. Seeing the emotion on everyones faces in the room, Kerry she knew was a tough nut and hard, but now looking at her face, and seeing her trying to keep her composure her eyes welling up with tears, the shock on there faces. Looking at Stella's face, tear stained, she had been sitting here for ages, waiting for news, how she wished she could of brought better news.

"Shannon, is out of surgery too, they have stabilised her, they got the bullet out of her, it just missed major arteries, she should pull through."

Nodding at the news Tash gave off Shannon, relief on her face briefly, at least one of her team will pull through, trying to control her emotions. Closing her eyes briefly, Kerry looks up at Tash, she needs to know the one person she cares about so much, he can't die, she can't loose him, coming out as a whisper "Lawson"

Looking at Kerry, the worry evident on her face, "he is badly injured, he has swelling on the brain, until that goes down, we don't know if he has sustained any brain injuries, he is badly bruised, broken ribs, and bones. He had been bashed badly. He is in an induced coma, and will remain that way for a while. At the moment he is critical, we have stabilised him for the time being, but only time will tell, I wish I had better news for you" Looking around at the TR team, Tash can see how much this has affected them, all, the news of Lawson and Michael, she can see tears in Kerry's eyes that she is trying to hide and the raw emotion of Josh's face.

Hearing Stella's voice "I want to see Michael" looking at Josh as she hears his voice "Me too, and Lawson". Looking at both of them "Only one at a time, I think his parents are still with him, he is still on a ventilator, that is breathing for him, his parents are going to be turning it off shortly"

Seeing Stella stand up and wipe the tears off her eyes with her arms, as she follows Tash out of the room.

Standing up, Kerry looks around blinking back the tears, she walks out of the room, walking into Lawson's room, seeing him lying there tubes coming out of him, his face swollen, machines breathing for him, she sits on the chair, leaning against the bed, reaching for his hand, holding it gently "I'm so sorry Lawson, I'm so sorry all of this happened" before leaning down, letting the tears fall.

…

Getting up off the chair, Josh walks towards Michael's room, hearing his name called he stops briefly, feeling Tash's hand upon his arm "Josh, don't do this, its not your fault" Not even looking at his girlfriend, feeling tears in his eyes, knowing he wasn't there but not knowing what even happened. "I need to see Michael" then looking into her eyes "How bad is Lawson?" reaching for his hand "I'm not going to lie to you, he is pretty bad, I don't know if he will pull through or not, he was beaten pretty badly and then the fall also.", pulling his hand away he walks out of the room, nothing Tash or anyone can say will make this better or go away. The fact is Michael is dead and his best mate is fighting for his life and he couldn't and still can't do anything about it. He will find out who is responsible.

….

Walking out of the lounge, Stella heads towards Michael's room, her eyes wide in shock, her friend can't be dead, not Michael, what is she going to do without him around, he is her best friend, someone she can count on. Standing at the door, of his room, she looks in, he looks so peaceful lying there, the tubes surround him and the machine's beeping, seeing his parents look up at her, their face echoing her sadness, such a waste, why did it have to happen, why didn't Kerry prevent it, so many thoughts going through her mind.

Walking slowly towards his bed, she sits down holding his hand, stroking it, it still feels warm, his eyes closed but looking so peaceful, how she wished he would just wake up, say something to him, how she would love to hear his voice again, stroking his hand "its ok, its ok Michael" how can she tell him, its too late now, she loved Michael, loved him more than a friend, she will never have the chance to tell him.

…..

Feeling a hand on her shoulder, Kerry looks up seeing Tash standing there, "Did you want to see Michael, his parents have decided to turn off the machines now"

Seeing Kerry looking at her, her eyes red from crying "How did all of this happen, Michael, Lawson, Shannon, Michael is so young"

Walking towards Michael's room each footstep feeling so heavy, how many times has she walked down this hallway, Grace a few years ago, Dom nearly dying, Michael a while ago and now Michael dead and Lawson she can't even bear the though of anything happening to Lawson. Standing near Michael's room, close to it, seeing Josh there and Stella inside, holding Michael's hand.

Watching as the nurse walks over to the machine, removing the tubes from Michael and the machine, seeing the lines go flat, after a few minutes. Kerry's eyes fixed on Michael, he was her responsibility, he was her team member, she was in charge of it all and James was her son. It all pointed back to her, damm James, why did he come back, why did he do drugs, how she wants to blame James, blame anyone. She wasn't going to loose Lawson, walking away from Michael's room, she heads towards Shannon's room, she needs answers, even if she isn't Shannon's favourite person.

Hearing footsteps in her room, Shannon opens her eyes, feeling groggy from the anaesthetic and pain killers, what on earth happened. Trying to focus she sees Kerry walking inside the room, worry etched on her face, her eyes look red. Seeing her walk towards her, trying to smile at her, pulling out a chair to sit next to her.

Looking at Kerry, there is no hiding it, her eyes are red, like she's been crying a lot "How's Michael?"

Biting her lips looking down at Shannon, should she tell her the truth "what happened out there?"

Closing her eyes briefly trying to think back, "I don't recall much, it all happened so quickly, we went outside to look around, there were gunshots out the front I think, I don't even recall seeing them, they came from no where" then looking at Kerry "Michael's dead isn't he" seeing Kerry nod her head "he didn't make it through surgery" fiddling with her hands "what about Lawson?" seeing Kerry looking down at her hands and the floor trying to control her emotions she figures the news isn't good "is isn't good there either, he is alive but very critical, he has serious injuries, they don't know if he will make it or not, sorry Shannon".

Looking up at her boss, this is Kerry's fault or part of it, this all happened helping her son, the whole lot, she is in hospital now in pain, pointing to the door "Hope your happy now Kerry, Just leave Kerry" nodding "I'm sorry Shannon" looking at Kerry "saying sorry doesn't make all of this right or better" before turning away from her.

…..

Back at TR base, Charlie walks out, seeing James sitting there, waiting for Kerry, feeling so alone and helpless, the guilt written on his face. Walking over to him "Kerry will still be awhile, she's at the hospital?" Looking up at this guy in the TR uniform, he didn't even know who he was "have they caught the guy who did it?" Nodding his head "one of them is in custody now" Giving a brief smile, "I knew she would, she is a great cop, have they found Lawson", nodding "he's at the hospital along with Shannon" Looking up at James, the sadness evident on his face, the words talking about his mum, more the words he didn't say "Do you know how long she will be?"

Shaking his head, walking closer "grab your things," Looking up "why" "your coming with me I'll let Kerry know" Smiling gratefully at him "you know my name, but I have no idea of yours" Giving a short laugh "Charlie,"

Walking out of base, Charlie turns to Leon "I'm on my mobile, I'm taking James with me" Calling out after him "Kerry won't be happy with you" Turning around to face Leon, "is she here, Leon, James has been here all day, she can deal with it" before walking out.

Picking up the phone, it isn't long before he calls Kerry, not wanting to be Charlie now.

Hanging up the phone after speaking to Leon, it isn't long before Charlie answers "If anything happens to my son Charlie, I will hold you personally responsible"

Rolling his eyes, used to her outbursts by now "You can't leave him sitting here at base by himself all night Kerry, he's been through a lot too, and you're his mother and your not even here with him. Its better than sitting at base all night"

The tiredness catching up with her, not wanting to admit that yes she is a shit mother again, here her son has been through a lot and she's a copper still at the hospital with her team "At least he is safe there, why are you doing this" Hearing the weariness and emotion in her voice "Kerry, you don't need to worry about James, just stay at the hospital, how is everyone"

Hearing her trying to regain herself "They just turned off the machines on Michael, he didn't make it, Shannon should pull through and" taking a deep breath before continuing "Lawson is critical, and in a bad way"

Hearing the emotion in Kerry's voice "I'll make sure James is OK, just do what you have to do, He can stay at my place for the time being and I won't let anything happen to him"

…..

Walking back to Lawson's room, Kerry pulls out a seat, reaching for his hand, stroking it, leaning down, and pushing the hair away from his eyes, kissing his lips whispering "Lawson, please wake up, you've got to pull through of this, TR needs you, I need you" feeling the tears falling from her eyes dripping onto the bed, wiping away with the back of her hand "Lawson, you better not die on me" then coming out soft whisper "I love you Lawson"

Walking into Lawson's room, Josh sees Kerry there, hearing the last few words, a small smile creeps on his face, seeing Kerry look up at him, wiping her eyes with her arm. Getting another chair he pulls it over "Lawson is strong, he'll pull through this" How she wishes that would be true shaking her head "his injuries are pretty bad Josh", seeing Josh look down she realises she is still holding and stroking his head, pulling it away "don't do that, he needs to know we're here"

Getting up off the chair, all of it, getting too much for her, the constant beeping of machine, the reminder of how serious it all is, looking up at the door she sees Stella there, walking into the room, looking at Lawson and Kerry "This is all your fault Kerry, my two best friends, one dead the other one, injured and Lawson here. They were helping your son Kerry when all of this happened. How can you just stand there, as if everything is fine, how can you even be here."

Looking at Stella and at Lawson "The guy who shot Lawson and the others, this is his fault, James has no part of this Stella, maybe if they followed procedures, none of this would of happened" before walking out of the room.

…

Walking into TR the following morning, after spending the night at the bar, drinking shots and gin and tonic, walking out at daylight, yet to go back to her apartment, looking around, everything still looks the same, looking at the TR cars there, TR1. Walking into the communications room, getting a drink of water she sees Leon looking up at her "Your beginning to look like me" Taking a sip "A big night" then shaking her head "why am I explaining myself to you" starting to walk away "How's Lawson?" shrugging she doesn't want to think about that.

Walking towards the shower she sees Charlie looking at her "What" Shaking his head "Have you forgotten, you know we have to be at Head Office, in an hour", not even looking at him "Yeah, give me 30 and I'll meet you here" Looking at her "sure you only need 30" Glaring at him "I'm fine",

Walking off, she hears Charlie's voice behind her "James' is fine, if you want to know" Turning around and glaring at him "Just keep it that way then"

Seeing Josh, Stella and Christian walk out, to TR, Josh looking at her "this is bullshit Kerry, we shouldn't have to work today" Giving him a short smile "It'll take your mind of things" then looking at Stella, she calls out "Stel", seeing her walk over to her "You fine to work today", nodding at Kerry, seeing the concern on her face "I want to work, I want to keep my mind occupied" nodding "Ok, just let me know, if you want time off" then looking at Josh "Just do a few hours, then head off to the hospital"

….

Arriving at HQ, walking up to the meeting rooms, they walk in, seeing David there, Kerry takes a deep breath, looking around the room at the other officers there. Going through all the paperwork and footage, her head starting to throb from it all, she doesn't want to go over it, she only wants to find out all those responsible and make them all pay for this.

Walking out a few hours later, she feels a tap on her shoulder turning around she sees David there, motioning for her to follow her "What David?" Seeing him look around "you ok….we had a complaint from Joe yesterday" seeing her raise her eyebrows but say nothing "he alleged you attacked him Kerry"

Looking at David her face neutral "You believe that piece of shit, look at the size of him?" Shaking his head "No…..but Kerry he does want to take it further" Seeing her eyes narrow "Let him take it further, he killed two undercover officers, he killed my team member, he shot another, and Lawson is lying in hospital seriously injured, that piece of shit deserves everything that he gets" her voice rising the toll of yesterday taking effect.

Looking at Kerry "Just be careful Kerry, he wants it looked into further"

Looking at David in surprise "You can't be serious, you can not be taking this seriously, he held a gun at my team when we went to his place" shaking his head "I shouldn't even have to explain all of this to you" then glaring at him "do what you have to, I'm going to the hospital"

Watching her walk away, even angry she looks beautiful calling out "Kerry just listen for once" seeing her turn around to face him as she walks closer "I'm not going to investigate the matter" seeing a flicker of relief go across her face "If he takes it further, someone else might so make sure you have your facts right, even with what he has done, unfortunately he still has some rights but at the moment it is not going anywhere". Giving David a small smile "Your not too bad" as she walks out.

….

Arriving at the hospital a short time later, Kerry walks into Lawson's room looking at the bed, it is made with no one in there, her eyes open with shock and fear, he can't of died, surely someone would of told her, not even looking around the room, she quickly walks out to the desk, taking a deep breath, turning around as she hears Tash call out her name, looking at her face, she closes her eyes briefly before opening them looking at Tash.


	26. Chapter 26  No Way

Seeing Kerry walking towards her eyes open, looking tired and exhausted, before she can even speak "Lawson was taken to theatre again, he has internal bleeding" Seeing her close her eyes and taking deep breathes, she reaches out, for her arm, guiding her towards the lounge, sitting her down, she offers her a cup of coffee, seeing her smiling gratefully at her "I'm fine" shaking her head "No your not, Kerry I'm used to people bull shitting about how they feel, your not fine" seeing the dark lines under her eyes, how tired she is. "when is the last time you got a decent nights sleep" seeing her shrug "its all part of the job, I'll be fine". Seeing her rub her hand across her eyes "You need to look after yourself too, you'll be no good to your team otherwise" getting up off the seat "I'll let you know as soon as I hear anything about Lawson"

Getting out her mobile, Kerry sends Josh a text and Leon. Getting up off the chair a short while later, pacing around.

Looking up a while later, Kerry sees Josh walk in "Josh, your meant to be out on the road" Shaking his head "How's Lawson?, not even looking up at him "Still in theatre" looking around "Where's Stella and Christian" Sitting down next to Kerry "Out on the road, Stel wants to keep busy."

Seeing Kerry look down at her hands "Its not your fault Kerry, you can't control everything"

Hearing footsteps they both look up, seeing Tash sit down next to them "Lawson is out of surgery, he had ruptured his spleen, they have controlled the bleeding, the swelling on his brain is going down too. These are all good signs"

Closing her eyes Kerry takes a deep breath "When can we see him?" Smiling at both of them "he is in recovery now so give it half an hour" Reaching out and touching Josh's arm, Tash sits down "Are you coming home tonight, you need to look after yourself Josh" Looking down at Tash he sees the concern in his eyes "I know"

….

Walking towards Shannon's room, before going to Lawson, Kerry hesitantly walks in seeing Shannon sitting up on the bed. Getting a chair she pulls it over to her bed "Your looking better" looking at Kerry, Shannon slightly admires the way she doesn't care what people think of her, even after the way she has treated her, she still comes back to her room. "Might even be out of her in a couple of days"

Nodding Kerry looks at Shannon "Just take it easy, don't overdo it." Giving Kerry a slight smile "It will be a while still before I'm allowed back to work" Nodding at her "Just come back when ever your ready, there's no rush"

Looking at Kerry, her eyes red and tired "How's Lawson going?" Not looking at her "He's just come out of theatre, he had some internal bleeding, Tash said the swelling is going down, and the signs are looking better. But he's still in a bad way" Looking at Kerry who's fiddling with her hands "Is he allowed visitors?" Nodding "for short periods of time at the moment", then getting up off her chair "Just take it easy ok" before walking out.

…

Walking into ICU a short time later, Kerry walks over to Lawson's bed, sitting down she reaches for his hand again, stroking his head, if only she had talk him, she loved him, she would go out with him, if they had worked something out, then maybe none of this would of happen, she wouldn't be feeling like she is now. Even she didn't realise how deep her feelings for Lawson were, how much she actually loved him, she couldn't imagine him not in TR or annoying her in her life.

Hearing a noise Kerry looks up seeing Stella walk in, the shock on her face evident, getting up off the chair, Kerry walks out leaving her there.

…..

Walking into base a while later, Kerry walks up to Leon "where's James" before walking away, seeing James in the makeshift lounge area she stands at the door looking at him, despite him being her son and she would do anything to protect him, the blame is there, she can't help but feel this is James fault.

Hearing a noise James turns around seeing his mum standing there looking at him, he is used to her being a cop first and being a shit mum, still doesn't mean it doesn't hurt that through it all, the past day, his mum hasn't been there for him, but at the hospital, not even seeing how he is, he always known she was a shit mum. Seeing her walk over to him, giving him a short smile, looking at her, she looks tired and older. Sitting down next to him "There found you another safe house, someone will be here soon, to pick you up." Looking at Kerry "Are you going to tell me what happened?"

Glancing down at her hands she wants to tell him a lot, find out what happened "do you have any idea how they found where you are what happened?"

Looking at Kerry he shakes his head "Mum, I'm not a child any more, just tell me what happened. They were after me still, so I'm not safe anywhere?"

Suddenly remembering Kerry looks at James "If your so grown up, you should know what happened. How did you escape, and come back here?"

Giving his mum a brief smile, he wondered how long it would take her to realise "Lawson pulled me inside, when he heard the gunshots, he quickly tried to lock the doors, he didn't even have time to get some back up, he pushed me towards the bedroom, and told me to escape, and to go to base, not back to your place as it wasn't there anymore. I heard the door give in, as I climbed out the side window, and went through the backyards, and continued until I got here. Lawson did everything he could to protect me, he is going to be ok"

Drawing him towards her briefly she closes his eyes "I hope so, did you get a look at them?" Shaking his head "Lawson made sure they didn't see me, I'm not safe anywhere am I mum?"

Looking at James her eyes intense, she wants to say yes, but truth be told, she wonders if anyone is safe now, "They are trying their best, and taking you somewhere else"

Looking around TR even if his mum is super cop, she can't protect him "what if I don't testify mum, this is all because I'm testifying against them, what if I say I won't anymore"

Looking at James wanting to shake him "That won't stop them, you know who they are, how dangerous they are, they will stop at nothing. The charges just can't be dropped" then putting her hand on his shoulders "Listen to me James, I know you're scared, but I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Not testifying your just going to make things much worse for yourself."

Getting up off the chair "they will be here shortly for you" seeing James look at her "I love you mum"

Looking at James quickly, she gives him a quick smile before walking out.

Hearing a car pull up a short time later, Kerry looks up, seeing two officers walking up, she watches at Leon points out. Getting up off her chair she watches as they walk towards her showing there ID to her "Superintendent Vincent" nodding she watches as they close the door, walking towards the desk she looks at them "This is about James?"

Shaking there heads "Partly, but also you" hearing a knock on the door she looks up as David walks in "What's this about?"

Watching them sit down on the chairs before speaking "With the recent events, towards your officers and son, we believe that for your safety and the welfare of your team, we need to get you into a safe house", feeling her mouth open and close "You've got to be joking" seeing the serious look on their face before continuing "A little late," then shaking her head "No, I'm not leaving at the moment"

Seeing the officers look at her "You do realise the severity of the situation Superintendent, we need to get you into a safe house as soon as possible"

Looking at them "one team member is already dead and another in hospital fighting for his life, yeah I think I do, the answer is still no" then getting up "leon, will show you were James is"

Seeing David turn to the others as they leave the room with him staying turning to her "Kerry, stop being so stubborn, what will it take, another attempt on your life, maybe they will succeed next time, your team members are dead, what about Lawson" seeing the defiant look on her face "what about him, he'll be fine" leaning down closer to her "Just think about it please, don't make a decision yet" watching her walk out.

Walking towards the garage, she sees them, putting James in the car, watching him look so vunerable and scared, seeing him look up at her, her feet glued to the spot, watching the door close, as they walk around to hop in, moving quickly "Wait" before opening the door, seeing James get out and walk over to her "I'm so sorry I've put you through this. You lost your partner, and team members all because of this"

Looking at James briefly she gives him a small smile, seeing the sadness, and scared little boy, she pulls him towards her "I'm sorry too James I love you too sweetheart"

Watching him get in the car, her heart heavy, wondering when the next time she would see him, biting her lip.

Walking away from the communications room, Leon sees Kerry standing watching the car pull away, seeing her turn around her eyes filling up with tears as she walks towards her cubicle, opening her drawer, as she gets a bottle of wine out, filling up her glass.

….

Walking into the locker room the next day Charlie looks around "Where's Stella", seeing both of them ignoring him "Either of you know where Stella is?" Hearing a noise he looks up seeing Stella walk in "Your late" Shrugging at him "and…you need me here Charlie, unless you want to go out and do some work for a change on the road"

Looking at Stella "Loose the attitude Stel" Not even looking up at him "Get stuffed Charlie"

Trying not to smile at her "big night then" Seeing her look at him "I'm here Charlie, what more do you want, so lay off"

Looking around "Ok Josh and Christian your in TR2" seeing Stella look up "Stel, your with me in TR1" seeing her look at him in surprise "Your joking?" Smiling at her "Didn't you just say I need to get out and do some work, what a better day for it" Shaking her head "I knew it was going to be one of those days, I'd be better off going to bed than coming to work., Give me 5"

Walking towards TR1, Stella looks at Charlie "going to drive too, or is that too much for you", opening the passenger seat "Just drive Stel"

Pulling out of TR, Stella pulls up at the takeaway shop, seeing Charlie look at her "I need a coke and susuage roll" Watching her come back and eat it, concern on his face "You right to work Stella" Rolling his eyes at him "I'm fine Charlie stop worrying and being a nanna". Trying to hide a smile from her words "big night", not even looking at him "always"

Driving around with Stella, Charlie glances at her out of the corner of his eye, something about her, that he wants her in the squad, she is different to any cop he knows, actually nearly any female he knows, spending the day with her, hopefully won't be as bad as no doubt she thinks.

Seeing Charlie glancing at her, every now and then "why did you come out today?", smiling at her "You're the one who said I need to get out and see how TR works, so here I am. It won't be that bad" "Yeah right, for you maybe, but for me it will be"

…

Walking into the hospital later that day, Kerry walks into Lawson's room, her eyes and mouth open as she walks into ICU, closing her eyes and opening again to make sure, when she opens her eyes again it is still there.


	27. Chapter 27  Second chance

Looking into the room, Kerry hesitantly walks in seeing Lawson awake, walking over to the bed she sits down smiling at him "About time you woke up" seeing him wince as he looks at her. Her eyes wide open with concern, trying not to let her feelings for him show, as she sits down "There are better ways to get time off work you know, then trying to get yourself killed"

Looking up at his boss he tries to smile, his body aching all over still, his memory vague "what happened" Leaning down towards him her "do you remember anything?" His eyes on her, trying to remember he tries to shake his head "only bits and pieces but not much"

Looking at Lawson, relief in her eyes "don't think about it, it will come when your ready"

Hearing footsteps towards his bed, Kerry looks up to see Tash walking towards them "the swelling on your head and brain have gone down, there will still be some memory loss, which might come back in time. They're moving you out of ICU shortly up to the ward."

Getting off the chair, Kerry follows Tash out there is one thing she needs to know,, "Will he be able to work in TR again" Walking away from his bed, Tash touches her arm "I don't know Kerry, Only time will tell" Glancing at Lawson before turning back to Tash trying to control her voice "Just tell me the truth, stop bullshitting me"

Moving Kerry away so Lawson can't hear "The only thing I can say he probably will have a long road ahead of him, he will probably need some rehab, it all depends, only time will tell Kerry, his injuries are pretty bad and there wasn't only a few of them, he had a lot" Nodding at what Tash said, the though of Lawson not in TR. Sitting on the bed watching Lawson, the words of David going through her mind, was he so badly beaten because of her, would all of this stop if she went to a safe house, looking at Lawson lying there, his face showing the pain, the guilt on her face. Seeing him sleeping there, she reaches out for his hand stroking it, as she gets up, she leans over the bed, kissing him on the cheek "I love you Lawson" before walking out of the room.

…

Walking into Lawson's room the first time since the shooting, Shannon pulls a chair over sitting down, watching Lawson sleep, relief that he is ok, she had a glimpse whilst he was in ICU but wasn't allowed to stay. Reaching for his hand, she doesn't know what to say, the one thing, she has realised though "Life is too short Lawson, you need to grab it with both hands. Seeing you here I still love you, I still want you Lawson, even after everything that has happened, I haven't stopped loving you."

Hearing a voice speaking to him, Lawson knows that voice, a voice that has spoken to him throughout it all. Then listening again, no it was a different voice, opening his eyes he looks at the person there "Shan" seeing her smile at him "Hey"

Looking at her closely he sees her in hospital gowns too with bandages on her arms and in a wheelchair "What happened?" Frowning slightly at him "You don't remember what happened" Trying to smile "bits, I know slightly what happened to me, what about you?"

Shaking her head "I'm fine, just a gun shot wound to my arm and leg, I got off lightly, compared to you" then softly trying to hold back the tears "and Michael" Hearing her voice "what happened to Michael"

Looking into his eyes her voice soft and with emotion "he died Lawson, he got shot in the neck, arms and leg he died the day it all happened."

Looking at Shannon his eyes wide "Kerry never said anything" Looking down "I shouldn't have either, it….was just…it should never had happened"

….

**ONE WEEK LATER**

Sitting in the bar drinking shots and one drink after the other, Stella looks around, seeing guys playing pool she walks up to them, putting her money on the table, after loosing her money on two games, she sees the guys walk away, slamming her fist on the table "another game" seeing them laugh at her, she pulls out her gun putting it on the table glaring at them "I said another game" seeing them back away as Cleo comes over to her "I think your had enough" then looking at the guys "She's a cop" seeing them put the money back on the table walking away quickly.

Ushering Stella over to a table she sits down with her "what time does the funeral start". Seeing the sadness in Stella's eyes as she slams her fists down "I'm not going, Michael is dead, and nothing will bring him back. I don't see what going to his funeral will do, it won't make Michael appear, or any of this not happening. It won't stop that Kerry's son James is still alive and being protected, whilst Michael died because of him"

Putting her hand on Stella's arm "want me to go with you, you need to go Stella, you need to say goodbye to him, you'll regret it if you don't go."

Arriving at the church, Kerry sees Michael's parents near by, walking up to them, she wonders if they will blame her, giving them a quick half smile "I'm sorry". Nodding at Michael's boss, seeing the sorrow in her eyes "Michael loved his job, he knew the risks, but he loved working for TR"

Walking away, she looks around, she shouldn't be here, none of them should, looking up she sees Josh and Tash walking over to her. Looking around she sees Shannon arriving but no sign of Stella, seeing Shannon walking over to them "Where's Stel?" seeing the others shake their head, getting out her phone, hearing it go to message bank.

Seeing the hurst arrive with the police procession, before entering the church, closing her eyes, Kerry blinks back the tears, its all so real, watching the coffin come out of the car her face neutral, looking around there is still no sign of Stella.

Arriving at the cemetery a while later, looking up just as it is about to start Shannon sees Stella walking up, her eyes bloodshot, giving her a wave.

Walking up to the TR team, Stella takes a deep breath, they shouldn't be here saying goodbye to her best friend, he shouldn't be in the coffin, she didn't want to come, but sitting in the bar drinking, she realised that Cleo was right, she needed to be here. Michael was dead but she needed to be here to say goodbye to her best friend.

Watching the coffin, being lowered into the ground, Kerry's tries to keep in control to stop the tears from forming in her eyes, its all so final. Looking at Kerry, Leon sees her trying to stay in control, looking at her face, the guilt is over it, her mouth open, picking up a handful of dirt as she throws it on the coffin.

Stella watches the coffin, being lowered into the ground trying to stay strong, but the though of him in there, her legs collapse as she starts to fall to the ground. Kneeling on the ground, she feels Shannon's arms around her, as the tears fall freely from her eyes.

Walking away to her car Kerry hears Leon's voice "coming to the pub?" Shaking her head "You all go, I'll see you in the morning" Feeling Leon's hand on her arm "Kerry don't go back to the hotel by yourself, you need to be with people we all do, its been a hard day and week, just come and join us."

Smiling up at the intel officer "When did you come so wise?" Giving Kerry a soft laugh "I've always been wise, your only just realising it"

Arriving at the pub a short time later, the memories and talk of Michael Leon looks at both Kerry and Stella, both dealing with the grief all of it by one drink after the other. Raising there glasses Josh speaks up "To Senior Constable Michael Sandrelli, he will be sadly missed in TR, to muppet".

Seeing Stella, leave her glass on the table, before slamming her fist down "he shouldn't have died, this is my best friend" then looking at Kerry her face closer to her "he shouldn't have died, it should …..not Michael, he…" seeing Kerry lean forward "Just say it Stella, you wished it was James that died, that its his fault, its my fault, its anyone faults. We are police officers Stella, we all know the risks that come with the job, when you sign up. Do you think that I wanted this to happen, that I knew this would happen, I wish it didn't happen Stella" her voice rising more and more "I wish more than anything James never came back, what I did wrong, that none of this happened, all this is happening because of me, that's what you want to say isn't it." picking up her drink and sculling it before walking away from t he table.

Watching Kerry get up, Josh turns to Stella "Happy now Stel, you think you're the only one suffering, that none of us will miss Michael, this is affecting all of us, not just you. Your hurting I get that, but so are we all, especially Kerry, she is feeling the guilt probably more than most of us"

Glaring at Josh, not wanting to admit that there is any truth in that "She doesn't act like it, no matter what it is her fault"

Leon looks at Stella, "You have no idea what she is going through Stella, shes been through more than anyone should the past few months, don't forget she lost her boyfriend because of this."

Biting her lip as Stella sculls her drink, she had forgotten about Chris "Who wants more drinks"

**THREE WEEKS LATER **

Walking into Lawson's room, Kerry sees Lawson sitting in the chair as he looks up at her "About time" Rolling her eyes at him "Should of let you catch a taxi home. See your feeling better and even looking better, not that it wouldn't be hard." Laughing at Kerry's comment, seeing her blue eyes sparkle again he gets up off the chair

Seeing Lawson get up "so your ready?" Watching him walk over and pick up a bag "Been waiting here for ages, so get me out of here"

Picking up his bag, she watches as he gets his crutches, before leaving the room "Glad to be out of here" Smiling at him, relief flooding through her, so is she, seeing him lying there so helpless, she never wants to go through that again.

Walking out to her car out the front, Kerry helps her into her car. Arriving back at Lawson's place, Kerry helps him inside "I'll be on crutches for a while though" then his voice serious "I will be back in TR and out on the road. Smiling at Lawson "I want you back, I need you in TR"

Looking into Kerry's eyes, he sees something there, not sure what, there has been concern in her face and eyes, but there is more to her words. "Your not getting rid of me that easily"

Sitting on the lounge a while later, Kerry glances at Lawson before looking around, before looking at Lawson "I might get going" Feeling his hand on her arm "Stay", feeling his touch on her arm, she can't look at him whispering "that mightn't be the best idea". "Just stay with me Kerry, I'll order something in, you don't want me to eat alone on my first night alone" Turning to look at him a smile on her face "can't have that"

Hearing Lawson's phone ring a short time later, Kerry looks around, seeing his phone and Lawson not around she picks it up "Lawson's phone" hearing the dial tone.

Getting up a short time later, Kerry turns to Lawson "I better be going, don't over do it." Turning to face him feeling his eyes upon hers, staring into each others eyes, looking away from him "I can't do this Lawson" before walking out of the apartment.

Watching Kerry walk out of the apartment, Lawson slams his crutch on the floor, he was sure, that Kerry's feelings had changed. Picking up his phone, he looks at the calls, seeing Shannon's name there he calls her back.

….

Driving away from Lawson's, thoughts go through Kerry's mind, his eyes upon her, lying in hospital, the thoughts of loosing him unbearable.

Opening the door a short time later, Lawson sees Kerry standing there, a half smile on her face. Hope filling his eyes as he opens the door "what are you doing here?" Seeing her eyes look at him her voice soft "I don't know, but the thought I had lost you and would never see you again, I don't know if it would work out or anything, the only thing I know is I love you Lawson" her eyes upon his as his lips reach down to find hers, wrapping his arms around her as they move inside.

Waking up the following morning, Kerry feels Lawson's arms wrapped around her with her arm draped across his body, lying there in his arms, with the outside world and TR another world away. Feeling his lips upon her, all thought leave her mind, as she responds to her kisses "I love you too Kerry"

Walking into Lawson's house after her shift at TR, it feels so natural, as much as her head is telling her it is wrong and won't work out, Kerry is following her heart.

Feeling Lawson's arms around her after dinner, as he pushes the hair away from her face "We will make it work this time, no one needs to know or find out. I want to be with you Kerry, I love you" Looking up into his eyes "I want you too Lawson" as she feels his lips upon her.

Hearing a knock on his door, Lawson pulls away from Kerry "hold that thought"

….

Taking a deep breath, Shannon knocks on Lawson's door, wondering what was taking him so long she was about to knock again, hearing footsteps, the door opens. Trying to hide his surprise at seeing Shannon there, he suddenly remembers his phone call with Shannon last night after Kerry left "shit, sorry Shannon, I fell asleep not feeling that great, do you mind if we do it another night, I'll cook you a dinner or go out somewhere"

Looking at Lawson, she wonders if he is telling the truth, he didn't look too bad "Sure your ok, want me to stay to make sure" Shaking his head "Just need some sleep" Nodding "Mind if I use your bathroom though"

Opening the door, his voice slightly louder "Yeah you know where it is" walking up the stairs.

Walking out of the bathroom, Shannon quickly glances at Lawson "Take care, I'll see you tomorrow"

Looking around after Shannon leaves, Lawson heads to his bedroom, opening the door, he calls out "Kerry" seeing her lying on the bed her eyes upon him "sorry" seeing her look at him he leans down finding her lips "Shannon called last night, I forgot I invited her around tonight" seeing her blue eyes upon him "Is it over between you and Shannon?". Looking into her eyes "its you I want Kerry not Shannon, you're the one I want to be with no one else" before covering her with kisses

….

Driving away from Lawson's Shannon deep in thought, her mind going back to her conversation with Lawson, her eyes wide open, walking out of the bathroom, on his table were two glasses of wine and cushions on the floor. She is sure it was Kerry answering his phone yesterday, when she hung up, she knows her voice anywhere, as much as she wish she didn't. What an idiot she is, thinking Lawson and her had a chance again. Taking a deep breathe, turning the car around, driving quickly back to Lawson's place. Fiddling in her bag she finds what she needs, the key he gave her, opening the door softly, she walks up the stairs, opening the bedroom door, her eyes wide in horror and shock, even though she was half expecting it and not wanting to believe that Lawson had done it again, feeling foolish and stupid that she wanted Lawson back, she stands there.

Seeing Kerry in bed with Lawson again with Lawson kissing her passionately his hands moving around her body, glued to the spot, she wants to move, but her feet won't her eyes upon the scene in front of her. Slamming the door shut, she sees them look up at her, the shock on their faces "I just had to see for myself"


	28. Chapter 28  Good news

Hearing a noise Lawson moves away from Kerry looking up seeing Shannon's shocked face in the bedroom, seeing Kerry pulling the sheet up around her looking at Shannon and back at Lawson. Turning to face Kerry "don't move I'll be back shortly" quickly putting on some shorts, before hurrying out of the room.

Seeing Shannon standing in the family room, her face red with anger, he storms over to her 'shit Shannon, what are you doing here, how did you get in, what the fuck where you doing standing in the doorway of my bedroom"

Glaring at Lawson "I just had to see for myself Lawson, yet again you lied to me, here you are in bed with Kerry"

Looking at Shannon's face slightly confused "How, did I lie to you" then softer "I'm not cheating on you this time Shan, we're not going out anymore" Glaring at Lawson still "I thought you wanted to get back together, inviting me over to your place tonight"

His eyes slightly guilty that he forgot that "I invited you over, as I wanted to still be friends with you Shan, I'm sorry if you thought it was anything else, it never will be"

Looking up at Lawson "Kerry, Lawson" seeing him nod "Yes I want to be with Kerry" his eyes looking back at the room and the scene that just occurred "How did you get inside?" Holding Lawson's gaze "With the key you gave me?", seeing him hold out his hand "I want it back Shannon, I didn't mind before, but tonight, the trust I had in you, you abused that, what happens in my house, is my life and private, nothing to do with you anymore. I can invite who ever I want back here Shannon, and that is Kerry"

Giving Lawson back his key trying not to show the hurt inside of her "You know it won't work out with Kerry she's our boss and that isn't going to change, I'm over giving you any more chances" Looking at Shannon, and seeing the hurt in her eyes "It will and if I have to leave TR for that to happen, then I will, I was willing to leave TR for you and I Shan, if we got married, which at one stage I thought we would one day."

Looking at Lawson confused "you have a bloody funny way of showing that Lawson". Wanting to reach out and touch her "There were many things leading up to that Shannon, we are both to blame for it, I should of handled things differently" hearing Shannon's voice scarcastic "Really, like not sleeping with her" not replying to her outburst, "but the way you were about Kerry and everything, I couldn't even talk to you about anything about her, she was having a hard time…."

Looking at Lawson slightly in disbelief her voice rising slightly "This is not my fault Lawson, Don't you dare blame me for you CHEATING on me, you went running when ever she needed you, I felt you cared more about her than me" then her voice soft "didn't matter if I ever needed you"

His eyes filled with remorse and guilt "I'm sorry Shan, I really am, but I thought she needed me, and I was walking away from her, and I wish you would of understood that."

Looking away from Lawson before looking back at him "You never stopped loving her, from before did you. You went out with her before I joined the squad, that's no secret?"

Looking at Shannon, wondering how she found out, Stella, before glancing back at the bedroom "Shannon, my feelings for Kerry, or our history have nothing to do with you or anyone else in TR" starting to walk towards the room, he turns to face her "Shan, DON'T tell anyone in TR about this" seeing the look on her face "I mean it Shannon, you came into my house uninvited, looking for I don't know what or why you did, I don't want the TR team finding out about this, for Kerry's sake"

Glaring at Lawson "You really are a dickhead Lawson, you two both deserve each other" before slamming the door behind her.

Walking back into the bedroom, Lawson sees Kerry still in the bed with the sheets around her, moving back on the bed, towards her, he finds her lips "sorry" seeing her pull slightly away looking him in the eyes "You do know by morning the whole squad will find out?"

Seeing him shake his head "No they won't, no one will find out lets just enjoy the rest of the night" finding her lips and nibbling around her ears and neck. Seeing her pull away and look him in the eyes "Is Shannon OK", smiling at her "That is one reason I want you, you care about your team" then softly "even if though don't deserve it"

Moving his lips to hers again "Don't think about what will happen, life's too short to worry about tomorrow, we're here and now and I want you Kerry" before lowering his lips to hers and kissing her hard and passionate. Feeling her starting to succumb to his kisses as she turns her face to stare into his eyes "Just as well as I love you Senior Sergeant Blake" holding her gaze he answers her with a passionate kiss

…

Sitting in her car, Shannon looks towards Lawson's apartment, anger filling every part of her body. How did she get it so wrong, she thought she knew Lawson and his signals, thumping the steering wheel, damm Kerry.

Arriving at the bar a short time later, Shannon looks around, it isn't long before she sees Stella, grateful her friend answered the phone and is still awake. Getting a drink she walks over to the table, sitting down, seeing Stella's eyes already blood shot, sculling the shots and drinks. Her state of mind, really not taking in Stella's state or anything about her friend.

Looking at Shannon sitting on the chair, Stella looks at her friend, part of her wondering what is wrong with her, why she is here with her tonight. Unlike her who has been going to the bar every night getting drunk, Shannon isn't like her, seeing her friends eyes red her "Spill Shan"

Giving Stella a small smile "is it that obvious", looking at her friend "your joining me in a bar at 1 am, which I you hardly ever do, your eyes are red, you call me, so you obviously want to talk about Lawson"

Biting her lip, and taking a sip Shannon looks at Stella "I need to talk to someone, but you can't tell anyone, otherwise Lawson will kill me, or Kerry probably both". Her eyes glazed from too much alcohol "I doubt I will even remember in the morning Shan" then seeing the look on her face "Ok I wont, but I know now what it is about, Lawson and Kerry are together"

Glaring at Stella and wondering why she is even bothering "It's a joke to you Stel isn't it". Trying to look serious "I'm here Shan, talk". Fiddling with her hands, "They are together, I saw them at Kerry's place, Lawson admitted that they are together and she is the one he wants to be with"

Finishing her drink Stella looks at Shannon "why are you surprised" then her eyes wide open "How together did you see them, and how?". Screwing up her face at Stella's question "Doesn't matter" then seeing Stella lean forward "Cmon Shan, spill, what did you see"

Glaring slightly at Stella "Now your interested in that bit, what about the fact that yet again Lawson lied to me and is with Kerry". Sipping her drink "Shan, I thought you had broken up anyway, he's always had a think for Kerry, but after Grace died, and they acted on it, but there has always been something between them" seeing the look on her friends face "He loved you Shannon, if you want him back then do something about it" Biting her lip " it is like she has him dangling on a fishing line and all she has to do is reel him in and he will do what ever she wants." Looking at Shannon "shit Shan just do something about it, he isn't dead you know. If it didn't work out once, then it probably wont' again" Staring at her friend, she doesn't know what to say, the hurt there about Michael dying, then hearing her voice louder "Glad Kerry is moving on with her life, at least she has someone to root and sleep with" then looking up and seeing Shannon's face her eyes widen "that's how you found out" bursting out laughing as she says "How".

Glaring at her friend laughing "Shut up Ste, I walked in on them together, I need many more drinks to block out that image" hearing Stella's laugh getting louder.

….

**ONE WEEK LATER **

Walking inside her apartment after another big night, Stella lies down on the bed, looking at the clock, she can get a couple of hours sleep if that, and be late again. Hearing her phone ring in her pocket, she brings it out, not even looking at the id her voice slightly slurred and loud "hello", hearing the voice on the other line "Charlie"

Hearing Stella's voice Charlie wonders if he is doing the right thing, he wants to check out some information and needs someone to go with him, but after hearing Stella's voice he wonders if she is up to it "Are you able to meet me in 20 minutes"

Rolling her eyes even though he can't see her as she bursts out laughing "Yeah guess so" Hearing his voice coming louder through "Stel are you drunk, sure your up to it." Nodding then realising he can't see her "Just get me a coke and sausage roll and I'll be fine and dandy, then pick me up beep the horn or knock on the door, I'm sure you know my address" before collapsing back on the bed.

Knocking on Stella's door a short while later, Charlie takes a deep breath, he wondered what her place looked like, he also wondered what it was like inside, lying next to her in bed. Shaking his head it isn't long before Stella answers it as he hands her a bag, smiling to himself as she takes a big bite out of the sausage roll"

Driving along Stella looks at Charlie "where are we going?" glancing at Stella "Just following up a lead, before I hand over the information to Kerry" feeling Stella's gaze upon him "Why choose me then?" shaking his head "I need someone to come with me, can you really see Josh coming" seeing Stella still looking at him "Your reading too much into this Stel, I need to find out about this before, I give it to Kerry, I don't want to get her hopes up for nothing. Don't you like spending time alone with me?"

Rolling her eyes at him "Know better ways to spend my time than alone with you, all I get is no sleep and a sausage roll and coke" then a cheeky grin on her face "Unlike you, did the phone cal interrupt you" seeing him glare at her "You smell like sex" Glancing to look at Stella "Stel, its just my cologne" seeing her shake her head "No way, I Know what the smell is" not even looking at Stella "Please Stel",

Smiling widely at Charlie and his discomfort "next time a bourbon and coke would be better" seeing Charlie glancing at her raising his eyebrows "Next time, that sounds more like a date or going out then work", rolling her eyes at him "After work idiot, you're the one who said date not me"

Stopping the car at the destination he turns to look at her "so you want a next time" giving a short laugh "Only if your buying my drinks all night?"

Taking the binoculars off Charlie, Stella looks on in amusement as Charlie leans over putting his hand under her seat "You right", bringing out the camera as he takes photos. Seeing a car pull up a short time later as people get out, he clicks away, satisfied putting the camera away. Pulling away he sees Stella looking at him "Going to tell me what that is about?"

Driving ahead "we think they are the people behind it all, the ones who organised everything, Chris being killed, the attempt of Kerry's life, the shootings", looking at Charlie "Michael's death" nodding "Yep, before I wanted to get Kerry's hopes up, I needed to be sure"

Looking at Charlie as he is driving "Are you sure now?" Nodding "Pretty sure, just need to check out all the photos"

Her voice with determination "then we raid the place", "pretty much"

…..

Arriving at TR early on, Charlie walks up to Leon handing him the camera "See if these match and who the others are?" before walking away.

Walking into TR the following morning, Kerry looks around slightly thankful that Shannon is still off work. Seeing Leon at work on the computer with a face on the screen "who's that" as he changes screen looking up at Kerry "Just stuff, Charlie is getting me to work on." Leaning down whispering into his ear "Such as", moving away from her "Its just stuff Kerry, that Charlie wants"

Walking towards the communications room from the locker room, Charlie sees Kerry talking to Leon, before turning to look at him "Talk to me Charlie, what's going on here, you look like a dog who found out he can lick his own balls?"

Smiling at Kerry's choice of words "Your going to like this, we have found out the guy behind the shootings, Chris's death and your attempt". Seeing the look or shock and her mouth wide open, speechless for a change "Never thought I'd see you speechless or loss for words" Closing her mouth as she looks at both of them "How, and who is it?"

Nodding to Leon, as he put the photo up on the screen "Col Rainey, you have to heard of the Raineys, illegal shipping of guns, drugs, you practically name it. They were bringing in drugs from overseas in small amounts via the drug runners, before shipping in the bigger amounts, We have put surveillance on them now, then we'll get them Kerry"

A million thoughts going through her mind, yes she had heard of them, but never thought they were behind it all she didn't think it was someone this big behind it all, looking at both of them "How did you find this out?" Shrugging at Kerry Charlie's reply simple "Just police work and digging away", smiling at him gratefully "thanks" before heading towards her office.

Watching Kerry walk away, Leon looks up at Charlie "You actually got a thanks out of her, you should feel privileged"

Watching Kerry walk out of her office a short time later, towards him, Leon looks up at him "You owe Charlie a huge thanks, he did more than just police work he spend hours working on this, going through all the phone calls the various people made, matching phone numbers." Patting Leon on the back and smiling at him "Sounds like you did a lot of work on it too" before walking out back to her desk, for the first time in ages, actually hopefully that maybe something will be done.

…

Eating breakfast at Lawson's the following morning a huge smile on her face, not believing it has been over a week now, since they first got together, forgetting any complications enjoying the relationship, spending the nights together waking up next to each other. Finishing up she hears the alarm on her car going off, looking quickly at Lawson she races down stairs, looking around she sees no one and but hears a car speeding off in the distance. Walking up to her car, she sees bullets on the windscreen and inside the car, picking one up gently before placing it down. Hearing a noise she looks up seeing Lawson there and the grim look on his face as he reads the bullets "Kerry your dead"

Shaking her head she looks up at him "You can't stay here Lawson, not now they know that I'm spending time here", seeing him walk over to her, pulling her towards him "I'll be fine, we'll be fine" looking up at him her voice firm "No"

Waiting for the detectives to arrive, they walk back inside, turning to Lawson "Your not safe here, nor me, come back to the hotel, stay there with me" reaching for her chin, looking into her eyes "are you sure?" Nodding her face serious "Yes, you can't stay here now"

Looking around the car with the detectives for a while, with Lawson, Kerry looks up as she sees a car she is so familiar with driving down the street pulling up outside Lawson's place, closing her eyes briefly hoping this nightmare couldn't get any worse, she opens them, no there the car is, and out gets Josh, and Stella. Seeing the look on their face, and the smirk on Stella's face as they walk towards them, turning to Josh, Stella whispers "Wonder how she is going to explain this one", grinning at Stella, Josh wonders the same thing, and not going to let either of them get away with it.

Striding towards Kerry "Car problems Kerry", Nodding "What are you two doing here, this isn't a TR job?" Looking around the car, Josh looks up at Kerry "Heard about the call" looking at them both, trying not give anything away "You just had to come" seeing both of them nod "When we heard it was Lawson's, so whats your excuse?" Biting her lip, noticing the look on both of their faces "Thought I would just seeing how Lawson is on my way to work", trying to keep his face serious "At 6 am in the morning. Isn't that a bit early to be visiting Lawson, funny how they knew that your car was here and you would be visiting him, he isn't really dressed for visitors", laughing as they both glare at him.

Seeing Kerry ready to kill both of them, neither of them ready to give up, as Stella looks at both of them "This is a better start to the day than I could of hoped, who would of thought Kerry rooting Lawson again"

Pulling Josh aside "You sly dog, you and Kerry, kept that one quiet" seeing Lawson look at Stella "Pity it won't stay quiet for much longer?" Looking at his mate "You know Stel, she'll keep it quiet, what about Shan?"

Looking at Josh, memories of how Shannon found out "She knows" seeing Josh raise his eyebrows "she found out the day it happened, a long story", nodding at his mate "What about you coming back to TR and Kerry, the rules of TR" shrugging his shoulders "we'll deal with that when it happens, at the moment, I'm happy and enjoying the beginning of a new relationship"

Walking back to Kerry, Josh turns to Stella "c'mon Stel?", seeing Lawson put his arm protectively around Kerry's waist drawing her towards him, Josh turns to them "Your secret is safe" then hearing Stella call out "with me it comes at a price", seeing Kerry glaring at her "your job", turning around she hops in the drivers seat, turning to Josh "I can still use this against them, it's a dog eat dog world" Shaking his head at Stella, he knows deep down, that she will keep it quiet, considering who is involved, she better keep it quiet.


	29. Chapter 29  Pushing Boundaries

_**One section of this, is taken partly from one of my favourite scenes in Rush season 4 ep 11, the acting was amazing by Nicole and a very powerful scene the follow up will be in the next part **_

Driving away from Lawson's Stella can't contain the smile on her face, looking at Josh "Lawson didn't tell you?" Glancing at Stella, realising how juicy this information is to her "Shannon didn't tell you". Nodding her head "Yeah she did, but I think I'd had too much to drink that night, cause something like that I normally wouldn't of forgotten, or maybe I thought she was wrong". Then looking at Josh a huge grin on her face "This is too good, Lawson will never her the end of this" Shaking his head at Stella, he can't help but feel slightly sorry for Lawson.

Arriving back at base at the end of the shift, Stella walks into the coms room, seeing Leon there and no Charlie or Kerry. Hearing Stella walking over to him, Leon turns around in his chair, he wants to know the gossip and if his eyes were deceiving him this morning. Seeing Stella sitting down near by, putting her legs up, he knows there is something she wants to say. "is it true?" Seeing a grin on Stella's face "What true?" Getting closer to her "what I saw this morning on the cameras, you and Josh went to Lawson's place….because the call out was for Kerry early in this morning…..SCANDEL"

Leaning back on the chair, with her hands behind her head, Stella grins wider her eyes wide "I can't confirm that, or deny it". Moving his chair closer to hers his voice in a whisper "so they are going out", seeing Stella nod "Looks like it" his face in a smile like Stella "Wow are you sure" seeing Stella nod before moving back to his desk

Walking into the coms room, Charlie looks around, seeing Stella relaxing in a chair "Stel, what are you doing?, not moving and looking at Charlie "Chill out Charlie, I've finished work". Looking at Leon "You might but Leon is still working, this isn't a socialisation room Stel, but the communications room". Looking back at Charlie, maintaining his contact "I'm not disturbing you" then looking at Leon "I'm not disturbing you or taking you away from you job", shaking his head "No", then looking back at Charlie with a slightly smug look "see", seeing Charlie glaring at her, pointing his voice firm "Out Stel now"

Walking out of her office, towards the computers, Kerry looks at Charlie and Stella "what's going on here, and Stella what are you doing here?" seeing Stella looking up at her a slightly smirk and grin on her face "I'm finished and waiting for Leon". Pointing to the door "Then wait for him elsewhere, this isn't a socialisation point"

Looking back at Kerry "Really I thought it was a meeting point, no isn't it a pi." Hearing Kerry's voice firm and low pointing her finger towards her "Stella, a word NOW", leaning back in the chair looking at Kerry defiantly "I'm not annoying Leon, or anything, I'm just watching what he is doing", watching Kerry walk over to her, as she leans down, whispering firmly in her ear "Now Stella if you want to keep your job"

Looking up into Kerry's eyes, seeing them boring into hers, she realises what Leon means sometimes, getting up off her seat she feels Charlie and Leon's eyes upon her as she follows Kerry out of the communications room. Seeing her turn around her voice low "What was that about" then into a lower imitating voice "As if I didn't know". Looking at her boss "I was only keeping Leon company I wasn't disturbing ask him, I didn't know anything wrong Kerry", seeing Kerry raise her eyebrows at her "Really, are you an intel officer" pointing to the communications room then to the other part "That's your part Stella, now get out of this room". Staring hard at Stella still standing there looking at her, slight worry appearing in Kerry's eyes there is more than just her being defiant and catching her with Lawson "C'mon Kerry, I was only having some fun, you know what that is don't you…oh yeah you have fun with Lawson". Looking at Stella slightly worried "What is this about?" seeing Stella remain silent glaring at her, her voice rises "What is wrong with you Stella".

Seeing Stella's eyes fire up "you want to know" seeing Kerry nod slightly her voice loud "How can you just stand there, you get on with your life, you move on, you root Lawson" not even seeing Kerry closing her eyes her mouth set in a straight line as she doesn't draw breath or the gasp coming from the communications room "your able to move on, start a relationship, doesn't even matter that one of your team members was going out with him, and you cheated on him, doesn't matter to you, that I'll never get that chance with Michael, Michael is dead because of or your son, and here you are playing happy families with Lawson"

Listening to Stella's rant, Kerry hears the gasp coming from the communications room, she knows Stella is hurting and angry, despite it all, she has blurted out the one thing she wanted to remain a secret, one thing that was private to her.

Reaching out to touch Stella, even though she is furious at her, she feels Stella flick her hand away "Don't touch me". Seeing Stella turn to walk away "We need to talk Stella", not even looking at Kerry she shakes her head "I don't want to talk to you". Taking a deep breath and sighing "Whether you want to talk to me or not Stella, you will be and NOW"

Following Kerry into her office, Stella bites her lips, she shouldn't of said some of what she said, but she never really did think before she spoke. Seeing Kerry sitting down on the chair opposite her she feels Kerry's eyes boring into hers "Talk to me Stel, I know you are hurting but lashing out like that, saying things about my personal life for everyone to hear, its not on Stella.", seeing Stella sitting there expressionless "You need to see a counsellor still, talk to someone about this, take some time off sort yourself out,". Looking at Kerry she shakes her head "I don't want time off, I want to work, I'll be here tomorrow"

Seeing Kerry fiddling with her hands whilst looking at her still deep in thought "I'm not going to force you to have time off…..Yet, but more of today, I will Stella", nodding at Kerry her voice soft "I need to work Kerry, I need to keep my mind occupied"

Giving her a short small smile "I'm here if you need to talk Stella, you do need to talk to someone Stella, drinking all the time, it isn't the way to go believe me"

Nodding at Kerry her voice low and soft "I'm sorry", seeing Kerry look at her "Really, you need to mean it Stella", looking at Kerry in the eye "I do, is that all?" seeing Kerry nod, she gets up to walk out of the room.

Watching Stella walk out, Kerry wonders if she's done the right thing, maybe she should of forced Stella to see a counsellor. Hearing a noise she looks up, seeing Charlie standing at the door, "We need to talk" rolling her eyes at him, as she sees him walk in "I'm busy Charlie, what's this about, can it wait?". Seeing him walk into her office "No, I think you know what this is about.". Raising her eyebrows at him as she shakes her head, she has a feeling what this is about, but no way is she going to make this easy for him "you and Lawson, is it true?"

Putting her arms on the desk staring into Charlie's eyes "What do you think?", holding her gaze "I think yes it is, relationships especially amongst higher team members only lead to complications, I don't have it in my team, so cut it out"

Seeing Kerry's blue eyes bore into his, slightly unsettling him "I'm not in your team Charlie, I'm higher up than you, and over rule you" then leaning closer to him in a whisper "Is this all because Stella's said no to you, admit it, you want to root her, I've seen you follow her around with those big puppy dog eyes, looking at her wishfully"

Pushing back the chair and getting up, slightly flustered at Kerry getting to him turning to face her "If your relationship starts to affect the team it is over", seeing Kerry smiling at him "Do what you want Charlie, there is no relationship between me and Lawson" before starting to laugh as he quickly backs out of her office.

Watching Charlie quickly get out of her office, Kerry start stop laughing at him, his reaction only confirming what she thought she already knew

….

**A FEW DAYS LATER**

Seeing Shannon walk back into the locker room, Stella hugs her friend, glad to have her back, it had been weird without her or Michael around. Not even looking up from talking to Shannon as Charlie enters the room. Ignoring Charlie's gaze upon her until she hears his name "Stella you listening" shaking her head "not really, no welcome back Shannon". Looking at Stella, then Shannon he nods before turning to the team quickly briefing them.

Leaving the communications room a short time later, Stella races to TR1, hopping in the drivers seat, waiting for Shannon to appear. Leaning back in the drivers seat she closes her eyes, hearing the door open, not even watching who entered "About time, how long does it take?" Hearing Charlie's voice "Not long," smiling as Stella's eyes quickly open "What are you doing in here, I thought you were Shannon "The smile on Charlie's face "obviously, if you didn't close your eyes, you would of seen the difference"

Arriving at Southbank a short time later, Stella is quickly out of the car, entering the building they hear Leon's voice coming through the com "he's on the third floor, coming down the eastern stairwell", pushing past the others, Stella opens the door to the fire stairs, racing down, pushing past the others, determination on her face going faster and faster, hearing Leon's voice coming through the coms as to where the guy is, this is what she has wanted and waited for so long, to get the guy who killed Michael.

Opening the door to outside of the building leading onto Southbank, Stella sees him, she knew what he looked like from going to his house with Charlie, no mistakening him, seeing him getting away, she pushes her body to run faster, aiming her gun, she calls out, with only a few metres between them now. She isn't going to let him get away with it, he is going to pay for getting her best friend killed, shooting Shannon and nearly killing Lawson, moving over to him, she gets the gun putting it to his head. Not noticing the crowd forming around her, only one thing on her mind.

Running out the door, trying to keep up with Stella, Shannon is having difficulty, seeing Christian near by her, hearing two gun shots they look around for Stella, both of their eyes wide open in shock, not believing what they are seeing before her, her voice in the com "Charlie, Josh get out here now?"

Hearing Shannon's worried voice filled with slight fear coming through the com Charlie, quickly races outside with Josh.

Back at base, Kerry walks into the communications room, watching what is happening before her, standing behind Leon, she hears Shannon's voice as she looks at the screen "Where's Stella, get the cameras outside?"

Going to the cameras on esplanade at Southbank he sees Stella as he hears Kerry "Oh shit"

Racing out of the building Charlie stops briefly on the spot staring at the scene in front of him, the whole team watching as Stella has the gun to the guys head, her eyes firmly on the guy determination on her face.


	30. Chapter 30  Stella

_**This part also was inspired by Ep 4.10 and parts of it taken from it. Also what I thought could of gone through each characters mind whilst it was unfolding before them**_

Shannon staring at Stella her face worried, how has her friend got this far "She's not responding" then into her com "Stel", standing watching Stella just standing there with a gun to the guys head, glancing around seeing people gathering around. Staring at her friend, how did she not notice, how did it get this far, was she that caught up with Lawson and her own problems she neglected Stella. How could she not see it at the pub the other night, thinking Stella didn't care about her problems, the sentence she used of Michael is dead, Lawson isn't, should of rung bells.

How could she not see it, was she so caught up in her own problems that she ignored her friends pleads for help, the all nighters at the pub, now it could be too late, here she is with a gun to a guys head, how could you not see how bad she was. Stella was there to comfort you when Lawson cheated on you, coming to your place, spending time with you, when she needed you most you were not there for her, you pushed her away, the other not getting annoyed at her for not taking you seriously or listening to you when all along you should of listened to her. Looking at her friend now, she wants to help her, will Stella forgive her, for not being there, not helping her, is it too late to help her .

Looking around she sees people gathering around then Charlie walking closer to Stella, as he starts to talk to her, hoping that he can get through to her, how well does he know her, and he hasn't really shown a soft side or an understanding one either.

Arriving outside the building at Southbank, Charlie stands on the spot, seeing Stella holding a gun to the guys head, pausing for only a moment before walking forward, his face worried, he is the newest team member, can he talk her out of this, he never thought he would really hope that Lawson was around, but this one moment in time, boy he wished he was, would she listen to him, can he get through to her, without anymore time to even think "Stella….Stel talk to me"

Not even looking at Charlie her face remaining on the guy "No Charlie, just leave its better if you all leave" His eyes not leaving Stella as he inches slightly forward "No, No we're not going to do that Stel"

Her voice with sobs in it, her eyes still on the guy not even looking at Charlie "Please", hearing the sobs in her voice as she speaks, Charlie feels worried, what state is her mind in, he doubts she is even thinking of what she is doing "Stel" waiting for her to respond he pauses, before continuing "just tell me what's going on" pausing again, she still says nothing "Stel you don't need to do this"

Her eyes still fixed on the guy this time replying, her voice still filled with sobs but firm "Yeah I think I do"

Wondering how to get through to her, Charlie looks around, he wishes again Lawson was here, someone who knows Stella someone who can talk to her, get through to her, know what to say to her, looking at Shannon her face in shock at her friend would she be able to, talk her friend down, before looking at Josh. Seeing a crowd forming he's not happy, he doesn't need people to see this, he doesn't want anyone to see this, it should never be happening in the first place.

…

Back at base, Kerry and Leon's eyes fixed on the screen, how did it come to his, how did she not see the signs, how could she have ignored them, why didn't she force her to see a counsellor, how did it get this far or out of control. She was in charge of TR still, she should of noticed, the blaming of her, having a go at her all the time, the drinking everything, she should of seen the signs. She should of helped her, but no you let her deal with it by herself, you did notice the signs the coming to work drunk and hungover, not hard not too notice, when you do it yourself, hoping no one will really notice or maybe you want them to, so they will help you or talk some sense into you, but no you didn't even do that. You had already lost 3 team members in the 4 years you had been with Tactical Response, lately you were too caught up with all the other problems, and the new relationship with Lawson. What kind of person am I now sleeping with another team members boyfriend, even if it was Lawson. The fact is, I noticed what was happening and choose to ignore it, to let it be, and now it has all come to this, James keeps telling you your a great cop and shit mum, maybe your not even that now, the one thing you can help her now or at least try.

Seeing Charlie not getting anywhere with Stella, Kerry looks at Leon "Can you put Lawson's phone through to the coms?", nodding at Kerry "I can patch it through"

Nodding "what about my computer, can you put through the lapel cameras and the cameras from southbank through to it", not even looking at Kerry "I can probably put through the lapel cameras, but the others one, it would take time"

Biting her lips "we don't have time, just put through the lapel cameras then", looking up at Kerry "Give me a minute, your computer" Nodding "Yes my computer"

Typing away, then glancing at her "Lawson has your computer", her voice firm her eyes not moving from the screen in front of her "Leon, just do it"

Turning to look at Kerry "Password?" walking over typing it in, he can't help himself "Does Lawson know the password", this time her voice louder "Leon" then seeing the screen open she dials Lawson's number

….

Watching her friend with a gun to the guys head, not listening to anyone, Shannon feels useless, she can't even bring herself to say anything to Stella, what does she say, sorry she's been a shit friend, for not seeing what is happening, seeing Stella talk in between her sobs, how did it get this bad, wondering again how did she not notice, would Stella even forgive her, vowing to help her friend, but would it be too late.

After what seems like an eternity, the wait long Charlie looks back to Josh as she hears Kerry's voice coming through "Charlie, we're patching Lawson through to the coms, and phones", nodding, hoping that she will listen to Lawson "Ok". Looking back at Stella "Stel, Josh or Lawson don't want you to do this do you?"

Watching it all unfold, Josh watches Stella, he can't help but feel he would of done the same thing, wanting pay back for Michael's death and Lawson, seeing Stella look at him, waiting to see his reaction to see what he will say all he says is "No", he hates seeing Stella like this, the pesky little sister. Seeing Stella look up at him quickly before looking back her voice wavering "what about….what, Kerry would understand, look what he did to Lawson, she nearly lost Lawson"

Watching the scene unfold at base, Kerry and Leon are glued to the screen, waiting to patch Lawson through their faces serious, mouth in a straight line.

Charlie looking straight at Stella his voice now firm "Stella put the weapon down NOW" seeing no response from her "Lawson, Kerry"

Ignoring Charlie and everyone around her, her eyes still fixed on the guy, it would be so easy to pull the gun, why should he live if Michael didn't, you know you shouldn't be doing this, but you can't help it, deep down you know they worry about you, and you really shouldn't let them see you do this, but this is Michael's killer, all rational thoughts leaving your mind hearing Lawson's voice coming through the com "Stel, think hey, think about what your doing. You can't have it both ways" shaking her head, trying to get Lawson's voice out of her ear, he didn't really care about her, he was to caught up with Kerry now, "No, Lawson you don't care about me"

Hearing Stella's reply, it was true party but he was also at home recovering, he should of realised how much Michael meant to Stella and what his death would do to her, but no instead you go running back to your boss, and end up sleeping with her forgetting anything else that happens, hurting team members you care along the way.

Hearing his voice again which seems full of concern and caring "Stel, that's not true, I wouldn't be talking to you now if I didn't care about you I want to help you" that was so true he would do anything now to help her, make sure she is ok"

Not taking her eyes away from the guy, no he was too preoccupied with Kerry to care about her, he had helped her previously and been there but no one was here no when she needed them, "I what about what he did to you"

Watching it on Kerry's screen unfold, he needs to get through to her, he wishes he was there to talk to her, he wished he had seen this coming, that he wasn't stuck away from TR, he should of known what Stella was like, partying "Stel, this is about you not me, the best way now is to make the arrest, you and Josh, Now Josh is going to come to you now and your going to make the arrest"

Seeing Josh walk over to her, she looks up to him, crying her voice soft, she is confused, wouldn't Josh do this "Josh" Looking straight back at her "Im with ya"

The team watching her with baited breath, Kerry, Leon and Lawson on the screen watching what Stella will do, seeing the gun still wavering at the guy, not lowering, her eyes on Josh.

Looking at Josh opposite her, and hearing Lawson's voice coming through the com, can she do it, can she just make the arrest, can she put her gun down, seeing Josh look at her, she starts to back away slightly, crying she lowers the gun, as she sees Josh coming up to the guy, lifting up her leg, she kicks him hard and swiftly across the face/chest, watching him fall backwards.

Watching Stella collapse on the ground sobbing, her hands fall on the ground, letting go of the gun, Shannon walks over to her, finally maybe being able to do something instead of feeling totally helpless, even with the guilt eating away at her now, she needs to comfort her friend, let her know it is ok, its going to be ok, she will be there from now on to help her, to be there whenever she needs it.. Kneeling down to her, she puts her arms around her friend, drawing her towards her, as her arms wrapped firmly around her, holding her tight and secure, feeling her body wracked with sobs, and her vest getting wet as the tears fall freely from her eyes whispering "its ok, its going to be ok", it is going to be ok, she will be there for her best friend no matter what, just like Stella has been for her through it all.

Feeling Shannon's arms around her, finally your friend cared, all those time you wanted someone to hear you, and they didn't, feeling like she didn't care, feeling her arms around you, I let the tears come freely, feeling her comfort you, the grief that had been bottled up for so long, is all coming out finally.

Walking over and picking up Stella's gun, Charlie looks at her against Shannon's chest, the whole situation, he felt out of his control, he had never seen Stella like this, always as a strong independent woman, someone who wasn't afraid to speak her mind not afraid of much, never would he of thought she would of done this. Not wanting his emotions to show, he looks at Stella and around, the situation should never have happened, again he shouldn't of been put in that position, in a public place where a crowd had gathered, they all should of noticed what was happening, he saw Stella turning up drunk to work, staying out all night, and he turned a blind eye to it, why because he bloody well liked her.

Looking at the screen Leon wipes tears away from his eyes, he had never seen Stella like that, he is used to her being so strong and independent, looking up at Kerry she sees him grabbing her car keys "where are you going" Not even looking at him "to southbank". Looking at Kerry "You were told to back off going places", looking at Leon "what are they going to do, think we're past protocol here" hopping in her car.

…

Arriving at Southbank a short while later, Kerry sees Stella sitting on a chair, looking slightly like a lost forlorn child. Seeing Stella look up at her, smiling at her weakly she gives her a half smile back, maybe if it wasn't Stella it would be different, but this happened to Stella, falling apart in front of everyone, with no support from the people higher up than her. .

Seeing Kerry arrive, Charlie walks up to her "she needs a break, I reckon she's suffering from Post Traumatic Stress." Looking over at Stella and back at Charlie, not that she would admit to Charlie that yes she is suffering "maybe that is something you should of picked up as her senior officer" wanting to roll his eyes at Kerry "right, and Lawson too".

Taking a deep breath, how easy it is to blame someone other than herself, but truth be told she should of picked it up, she was in charge of TR, she knew Stella, the guilt eating away at her, she can't blame Stella for this, it was her job she should of watched out, knowing how close she and Michael were, you left Stella to cope by herself, even though all the signs were there, she now needs to defend Stella, she can't lose anymore team members "Charlie the fact is she did her job and made the arrest" shaking his head at Kerry "with a bit of coaching"

"We all need a hand/help sometime Charlie" glancing at Stella then back to Charlie, except she needed the hand/help before now, not believing Kerry taking it so lightly "She needs to be accessed, you are sounding so much like Lawson", sighing at Charlie trying not to smile, maybe some of him is rubbing off on her, normally she would in a way agree with her, not defend her actions but the truth be told you feel partly responsible, you didn't do your job properly

Looking at Stella sitting with Shannon on the seat, the fact is she did notice though, and you didn't act, you didn't do anything about it, you ignored her, too wrapped up in your own life, you didn't act on what you should, yeah you noticed it, but didn't take it further, you choose to ignore her outburst defending YOUR actions instead of looking out for your team, this time you will help Stella you will not just ignore it, she won't let Charlie make her feel worse "Fine, but do you really think any human being could do all of this without occasionally flipping out. The fact she's feeling these things means she's ok, she might need some help, but taking her off work, isn't the way to go. This job is hard Charlie, and you need to be strong, but sometimes, your feelings come out, she's been through a lot, seeing the guy who killed Michael, arresting him, is what she needed"

Walking away from Kerry "Don't dismiss this", looking at Stella sitting with there meekly, she knows this time she won't, she will do something about it "I'm not, I think time off, is the last thing she needs, she needs to work through it, I will access it, if after this I feel she's not coping and do the right thing by her", glancing at Stella and back at Kerry "its obvious she's been hitting the grog pretty hard lately" seeing Kerry nod "since Michael died, I had noticed" and yes it was one thing she did notice, considering the fact she hits the grog hard too, to her that was the first cry of help she choose to ignore.

Hearing her phone ring, she gets it out seeing Lawson's number, walking away from everyone "We got him, we got Col Rainey." Hearing Lawson's voice "How's Stel coping?", glancing at her, "She'll be fine" and she will be as she will never let this happen again, because in future you will act, you will not lose another team member because you choose to do nothing, because you didn't act or do what you knew you should, hearing Lawson's voice again "What's going to happen to her, she ended up doing the job, your not giving her time off" rolling her eyes at her boyfriend "I'll see you tonight". Smiling at Kerry's subtle way of not answering his question he can't wait to see her, whispering " I love you babe" hearing her reply "Me too" before hanging up, looking around even after everything said and done looking at Stella if she didn't notice or care she probably wouldn't of let her stay on or let her get away with so much lately.

Watching Kerry walk away, why didn't she say something to you, your sure this is the reason she came here, she saw you with a gun to the pricks head, your face, you wanted to pull the trigger, you wanted him to die. You had waited for this moment for so long, and now it was here, you wanted him to pay, you lost your best friend, when it counted at the end, yeah your friends and team did care and were there for you, maybe I won't be on my own now. .

Watching Kerry walk back to her car, Charlie sees Stella sitting by herself looking over Southbank, walking over to her, he sits down, seeing her look up at him "c'mon I'm finished for the day" smiling gratefully at him, she follows him to his car.

….

Dropping Stella back at her place, Charlie looks at her, should he leave her alone tonight, watching her get out of the car. Hearing a noise behind her, Stella looks around, seeing Charlie out of the car behind her "I'm fine now Charlie" and she meant it, and had accepted what had happened, the day was long. Smiling at her "Are you?" Looking at Charlie, "what type of question is that, I know I screwed up today Charlie"

Looking at Stella he shakes his head "No you didn't, you gave into your emotions, you thought no one cared about you, that no one was there for you, I didn't notice Stella, I didn't notice you falling apart when I should of, I'm not going to do that now"

Staring at Charlie and his words she did think he didn't give a fuck about her, opening the door to her apartment he lets her in, if truth be told she had been scared to come home, to go to sleep, she wanted to stay out all night, drink to forget everything, she didn't think anyone had noticed that they were too caught up in their own worlds to notice her. Here was Charlie now and apologising to her.

Looking around the apartment, it is tiny and not much out of place, walking over to the fridge he opens it to get them something, seeing nothing really in there he looks at Stella "Not home much lately", nodding he wondered when the last time she had a decent sleep, didn't spend all night out drinking partying. Seeing Charlie look down on the table she sees small packets of drugs there "this is who I am Charlie"

"I like who you are Stella, your one of a kind", feeling Charlie's eyes staring into hers as he slowly leans towards her, as his lips find hers, she can't help but to respond .

Feeling him pull away a short time later, looking at her "I'm so sorry Stella, I shouldn't of done that, after today, the thought of you ruining your job, everything"

Smiling at Charlie's awkardness "I want you too" surprising herself, because at the moment in time she did want Charlie to hold her and kiss her, not caring about tomorrow, living for today as she feels his lips upon hers.


	31. Chapter 31  Want to come back

_**Thanks for the great reviews, glad that your enjoying it not many chapters left now.**_

_**I liked Stella and Charlie together, I thought there was something between them but it was left open ended. **_

_**The answer to the question about Kerry and Lawson is here too, **_

Feeling Stella's lips upon his Charlie starts kissing her before pulling back slightly "Stel, you don't want his" feeling her arms around him still "Don't I, you want this too Charlie" before leaning back in to kiss him.

Lying on the couch, their kissing gets hotter, hearing a knock on the door Stella ignores it, hearing the knocker getting louder she hears Shannon's voice calling out "Stel are you in there" feeling Charlie pulling away from her, quickly trying to button up his shirt "You need to get that" seeing her lying there on top of him, not moving staring at him "Do I, what if I want to do this instead" leaning down straddling and kissing him as the knocking on the door "Stel, you home?". Pushing Charlie back down on the lounge she puts her fingers to her lips whispering "I'm not explaining this to her. Hearing her phone ring she whispers "oh shit" seeing Charlie's amused smile

Dialling Stella's phone, Shannon hears it ring in the apartment, calling out once more "Stel, I'm sorry are you home" hearing no reply, she turns around, walking off, she wonders if she is angry with her still.

Looking at Charlie Stella takes a deep breath before leaning down and finding his lips, feeling him kissing her passionately back.

…

Watching Kerry walk into the room, that night, Lawson looks at her as she sits down, the guilt in her eyes, putting a drink down he sits next to her, drawing her to him, seeing the smile, as she leans into him. Seeing Kerry not saying anything, he needs to know "how's Stel", not even looking at Lawson "she's been hitting the grog a lot lately, turning up to work semi drunk, smelling of alcohol, I should of done something but didn't take any notice of it." taking a sip of her drink "drinking doesn't help or solve anything, I know that better than anyone, you just can't help it though, especially when it gets tough and you want to escape."

Listening to Kerry, talking about Stella, Lawson looks at her, knowing she drank a few bit. "Your not the only one who didn't notice, no one did, she is pretty good at hiding things?"

Turning to look at her boyfriend, despite everything, the one great thing was her boyfriend, and it was Lawson too "Yeah but I was too caught up with you, the new relationship and everything, its my job to look out for my team members" then looking into his eyes "I'm not proud of how we got together it was wrong and maybe it pushed Stella slightly, she and Shannon are pretty close "

Looking at Kerry slightly worried "I think Michael's death and her drinking as coping was what did it, she probably felt alone, you weren't the only one who didn't notice, she must of hid it pretty well from Shan too, but she'll be fine now." Then tilting her face up to his "You've been through a lot too lately, so don't be so hard on yourself"

Then kissing the top of her head "It's not wrong we are together, it probably should of happened another way, but maybe then it probably wouldn't of happened but I'm glad it did, I Love you" Looking up at Lawson "I love you too" before his lips find hers.

…..

Waking up the following morning, Charlie looks down as he feels Stella's arms draped across his body, his arms wrapped around her body. Feeling her naked skin against his, how did it come to this, he had fought his feelings for her for so long. Looking around he sees no clock, before looking at his watch "Fuck" pulling his arm out, kissing Stella on the top of the head.

Feeling Charlie's arm moving from under her, Stella looks up into Charlie's face as she feels his lips on the head. Looking into his eyes, she finds his lips upon hers, kissing her again hard. "We're going to be late"

Smiling at his nervousness "Yeah so?" shaking his head at her "C,mon Stel, I can't be late" seeing her perched on the bed on her elbow "Why not, break the rules" walking over and kissing her again "I just did last night", feeling Stella's eyes upon him as he quickly gets dressed, not being able to help himself he walks over again kissing the top of her head "I'll see you at work"

Lying back on the bed, Stella laughs, man she wished she could tell Shannon or anyone about this, actually who would believe her anyway, quickly grabbing a coffee and piece of toast she heads off to work.

…..

Walking into TR the following morning, Kerry sees Charlie "have you talked to Stella?". Looking at Kerry, as her blue eyes pierce through him "what about?", seeing Kerry roll her eyes, at him yet again before answering her "Not really, lets see how she goes?". Seeing Kerry looking at him slightly suspicious he wonders if she can actually tell anything, as she faces him "I'll talk to her, that's your problem Charlie, you never talked to her, took notice or saw anything, you need to keep an eye on her".

Watching Kerry walk away "You've changed your tune since yesterday", shaking her head "We just need to make sure it doesn't happen again, to anyone in TR, we can't afford any bad publicity"

Seeing Kerry walk into the locker room, and look at her, motioning her to join her, Stella looks around, she wondered if Kerry would say anything, she saw her yesterday. Following her out of the locker room, she looks at Kerry nervously "Is this about yesterday, do I still have a job here?"

Nodding and sitting down looking up at Stella "Yeah, do you want to talk about it, or see someone?" Shaking her head at Kerry "I'm sorry but I'm fine now" seeing Kerry raise her eyes at her, how many times had she told her boss that, and everytime someone believed her, seeing Kerry looking up at her "I should of noticed Stella something was wrong, I didn't, I ignored all the signs, and I'm sorry about that."

Looking at Kerry in surprise, it wasn't what she thought her boss would say "Its not your fault, I kept saying I was fine", seeing Kerry smiling "You weren't and we should of realised that"

Smiling back at Kerry "You took more notice than others of me, I'm sorry that people found out about you and Lawson, I really am, I hope you both will be happy"

Raising her eyebrows at Stella "If you want time off, just let me know"

…

Walking towards the board for the day, Stella looks at Shannon, before looking back at the board "your joking, why am I stuck with Charlie again", seeing Shannon smiling at her "you better start be nicer to him or maybe he just wants your company" turning around to glare at her friend.

Pulling out of TR and driving around Charlie is deep in thought, he can't help but continually glance at Stella, wanting to hit himself for giving in to his urges, feeling like he took advantage of her when she was vunerable despite everything, he doesn't wish it never happened.

Driving around Stella sees Charlie glancing at her not saying anything "Just say something Charlie, its freaky you staring at me", giving a short laugh "About last night Stel…." before pausing, looking at Charlie "You can say it, we had sex" Nodding at her, before glancing at her again "I'm your superior Stella, it shouldn't have happened, I shouldn't of let it happen, I ….. it was wrong"

Trying to keep a straight face "Gee thanks, Charlie… don't turn it into more than it was, it was a night of fun, I'm not expecting anything from it, either should you, it just happened"

Giving a short laugh, he would love it to be more "so no more nights of fun then" seeing her look at him "You never know your luck" laughing as they continue driving.

…..

Walking into base, it felt like ages since he had been working here, he wanted to go back to work, no needed to, sitting around all day just wasn't him. Walking down the corridor, he sees Leon looking up at him "Lawson, when are you coming back?"

Looking around "Where's Kerry?, soon I hope", pointing to her office "In her office, thought you would of known that", turning away from him, he walks towards her office, knocking on the door hearing her call out "Yeah" her voice tired before entering.

Looking at a packet in her hand, it all seems to simple, could she do it, does she really want to know. The tiredness, and everything lately, putting the packet on the desk, like it is burning a hole in her hand, in a way it would be easier not to know and deal with it than knowing. Hearing a knock on the door, she puts the packet in her drawer for the time being looking up at the screen.

Seeing Kerry concentrating on the screen before looking up at him, smiling "what are you doing here?"

Sitting down opposite her, it all seems so different know they are going out, seeing her rub her eyes "Just had to get out, so came to visit you", seeing her raise her eyebrows at him, ok it sounded slightly lame even to him. Smiling at Lawson, she had loved him for so long, every since she had just started, never in a million years did she ever think that here opposite her was Lawson her boyfriend.

Leaning forward towards her "I need to come back to work, I can't stand sitting around all day doing nothing" Seeing her eyes remain contact she shakes her head "No". Looking at her slightly in disbelief "Why, I'm walking around now, you know I can do this job, I can't just sit at the hotel all day" before adding "not without you there to keep me occupied"

Seeing her trying not to smile at him "I can't Lawson, I want you back, its not the same without you here, but until you are fully operational again, you can't go out on the road"

Trying not to show his disappointment his brown eyes staring into hers "Just give it a chance Kerry, see how it goes"

Looking down at her desk, away from his eyes "Wait another week or so, you need to get clearance from the doctor anyway, that you are fit to resume normal duties, and also pass a test," then looking up at him "you know all that Lawson, the procedure you need to go through" then leaning forward "You think sex and a bit on the side, sleeping with you I'll let you back no problems" then leaning back on her seat shaking her head "it ain't going to change my mind, you still follow the proper steps"

Seeing a slightly smug smile on her face, the one he was so used to "IF you really want to come back…" seeing Lawson looking at her, he did know her too well "There is the filing, paperwork to be done, that will keep you occupied for a long time", standing up from the chair, looking at her, her face still smug "I'll get back to you"

Seeing her give a short laugh, her face tired walking around the desk, he leans down, finding her lips, before giving her a short passionate kiss whispering "You are one cruel person Kerry Vincent, even so I think I still love you", smiling up at him "I love you too Senior Sergeant Blake" getting up off her chair to walk out she adds "If you do want to do something, you can come with me to HQ", seeing Lawson look at him "I'll explain on the way"

Walking out of her office Kerry quickly goes into the coms room seeing Leon by himself "I'll be back in a short while", seeing Leon raise his eyes at her as she walks out with Lawson hearing his voice "I'm sure it will be much longer than you think", as she turns to glare at him"

…..

Dropping Kerry off, Lawson would love to be a fly on the wall to see if or what Joe would say to her if anything. Driving around he ends up back close to base, filling in time, hearing his phone ring, he heads back to the car, arriving he searches for the keys "Oh shit".

Jogging back to base after talking to Kerry, he goes into her office, opening her top drawer, he pulls it out, looking for her spare keys, he pulls out a box, picking it up his mouth opens, reading it again the writing is still the same "pregnancy kit", why hadn't she told him, so many thoughts going through his mind, sitting down on the chair in her office, is he the father, shaking his head maybe it isn't hers, but why is it in her drawer, slamming it shut and getting her keys he quickly hurries out of TR

Driving back from HQ to the hotel, Kerry sees Lawson staring at her "I'm not changing my mind", shaking his head "I know" then having to know "are you pregnant?"

Hearing those words from Lawson, Kerry quickly closes her eyes, silently saying to herself "shit" knowing what Lawson found.

Hearing the silence from Kerry "I found the pregnancy kit in your drawer, when I was looking for your keys"

Arriving at the hotel and pulling over she turns to him "You would of noticed, it wasn't opened".

Trying to keep eye contact with him, so he didn't notice how she was really feeling, too scared to take the test, too scared to find out what she thinks she already knows.

Seeing Kerry looking at him, her blue eyes staring into his eyes he shakes his head, truth was all he saw was the pregnancy kit, that he overlooked everything else. Smiling at her, he leans over kissing her, not wanting to let her go, something inside of him, wanting to keep her with him whispering "come back up to the room". Smiling at him "hold that thought for another couple of hours".

Watching Kerry drive away, Lawson can't help but just stare as the car vanishes into the distance, gut instinct or something but he can't help but worry

…..

Pulling up at base a short while later, Kerry looks at her watch, she was longer than she thought. Walking into the communications room, she can imagine what Leon will want to say. Putting her bag in her office, she heads in "Everything under control in here?"

Seeing Leon not turn around, she walks closer to him, calling out "Leon" seeing him sitting rigid in the chair she walks over to him, her eyes wide open in shock trying to hide the fear on her face "Oh shit Leon, who did this to you?". Seeing the fear in his eyes as he looks up at her, walking over to put her head set on "Josh, Charlie I need you all back at base now"

Seeing Leon look up at her fear in his eyes "Help me Kerry, don't leave me like this?" walking closer to him "I will get you out of this"


	32. Chapter 32  Explosion will they survive

_**Just a couple to go now I think**_

Hearing Charlie's voice coming through the coms "we're in the middle of something Kerry" closing her eyes briefly she bites her lips "Just hurry back here when you can Charlie, Josh how far away are you?"

Walking closer to Leon kneeling down, looking at him, seeing the fear in his eyes and trying not to show how scared he is "the bomb squad should be here shortly"

Looking up at Kerry seeing her trying to control herself, he hoped the bomb strapped to his body was a hoax just a warning for Kerry, seeing her lean down closer to him "Who did this to you Leon, do you have any idea" Turning his head to look at his boss "Someone who works for the Raineys, they said tell your boss to back off, or we will go after you one by one, this is just the beginning"

Seeing Kerry's eyes narrow filling with anger "they are not going to get away with this"

Hearing Leon's voice "You can get the footage and save it, the cameras in base, will show them coming in" Shaking her head "I don't know how to access that"

Trying to smile at his boss "I'll help and show you, you just need to press the buttons and do it all"

Hearing a car pull in a short time later, Kerry looks up as Josh, Shannon and Christian walk in "we need the building evacuated, the surrounds evacuated and a cordon put up around base. No one is allowed in or out of the building, make sure everyone is out of here"

Seeing the three of them still just standing there "NOW", seeing Josh standing there "what's going on Kerry" as he walks closer to her, seeing Leon in the chair "Shit Kerry" as he lowers himself closer to her.

Watching the other two walk out, Kerry calls out to them, "Move the cars away from Base, and use frequency two", seeing the puzzled look on their face "there's a bomb in the building, we need everyone out now"

Turning back to Josh seeing him touching the bomb "Josh, don't. You don't know what your dealing with, leave it to the bomb squad" Not even looking up at Kerry "the bomb squad isn't here Kerry".

Frustration welling up in her "I'm bloody well aware of that Josh"

Hearing footsteps running into the coms room, she looks up seeing Charlie and Stella there "You took your time getting back here"

Looking at Kerry and Josh kneeling down "going to explain what's going on here", the whole situation on a bomb on Leon getting to her "what does it look like Charlie, we need the area evacuated and cordoned off, everyone out of base, and take TR1 away from here" seeing him walking over to Leon "How long has that been on him for, and when's bomb squad coming"

Looking up at Charlie her mouth firm "about ¾ hour, bomb squad is on its way, just get everyone out of here Charlie and Keep my team safe"

Turning back to face Leon "Oi Josh, don't touch it".

Watching Josh fiddle with the bomb, Leon gets slightly nervous, then needing to know "Is it real"

Hearing Leon's question, it is one that Kerry didn't want to ask, glancing at Leon and seeing Josh's face she knows the answer to it, if it Josh lies to Leon, she knows the bomb is real.

Looking up at Kerry before looking back at Leon, he knows Kerry can see the answer to it, not much goes past her, looking back at Leon he can't tell him the truth not yet "I'm not sure, I can't tell"

Biting her lip, she gives a slight smile, that Josh didn't tell Leon the truth but something in Josh's eyes now that he is standing up, makes her uneasy. Seeing Josh walk over to her, she moves away with him "It's a real bomb isn't it" seeing Josh nod before he can continue, Kerry looks up hearing footsteps, seeing Charlie coming in with "Kerry, this is Sergeant Matthew and Sergeant Pete from Bomb Squad".

Nodding and slightly relieved now there is someone here. "Matt, it is, where's the bomb", pointing to Leon "Its over there, Josh, here has had a look". Seeing Matt look up at him "I think there's a timing device to it, probably a back up to it, I think the body pressure is keeping it from going off"

Nodding at Josh and looking back at Leon "Oh shit"

As they walk away, Charlie reaches out and touches Kerry "we've looked around, we can't find any other bombs here, unless they are in the communications room, the building has been searched and evacuated and the surround areas, we have all available police units helping us"

Nodding at Charlie "Ok", looking at Kerry "you and Josh need to get out of here too, you don't know when that bomb will go off". Her words firm "I'm staying, I'm not letting Leon go through this by himself"

Looking at Kerry, not moving away "Kerry, think about what your doing", walking away "I am Charlie" as she walks back to Leon.

Walking back outside, Charlie takes out his phone, knowing Kerry will threaten him with everything again when she finds out, but hopefully there is one person that both Kerry and Josh will listen too.

…

Watching Matt and Pete, look at the bomb, the wait seems to take forever, seeing Pete look up at Matt, before looking at them "It is a bomb" seeing Leon tense up, Kerry quickly goes over to him, putting her hands on his shoulders "It has a timing device on it, but the pressure on your body is keeping it from activating." With every word coming out, Kerry feels Leon tense up leaning down whispering to him "Keep calm, I'm not going to let anything happen to you, we will get this bomb off" Seeing the look on both of their faces, the seriousness of the situation, she wants to ask the chances of it being deactivated, looking up at them "You can deactivate it", seeing the look in their eyes "that's our job, we'll try"

Closing her eyes briefly, how did it all come to this, turning to Josh "get out of here, now". Seeing Josh shake his head "I'm staying" her voice firmer "Josh leave now"

…

Arriving at base a short time later, Lawson gets out of the taxi, hurrying over to Charlie "where are they", seeing Charlie point inside "still in there"

Hopping under the cordon, he walks inside slowly, standing at the edge of the communications room, he watches it all unfold, the look on Kerry's face, he knows that look anywhere, the blame she is no doubt feeling over it all.

Looking up, the shock on Kerry's face seeing Lawson standing there, looking up at him "What are you doing here" walking closer to her "Trying to talk some sense into Josh and you" shaking her head "Leave Lawson and take Josh with you, I'm staying until this bomb is off him"

Walking closer to her, his hands entwined with hers "Kerry, don't do it, get out of here, you can't be here if the bomb goes off", seeing her glance at Leon "I'm not leaving him to deal with this by himself" reaching out to touch her chin "This isn't your fault, I can't lose you too Kerry"

Smiling up at him "Your not going to lose me not yet, I have to go", not wanting to let go of Kerry's hand, fear running through him, that she won't leave or get out of this "I love you Kerry" leaning up to kiss him quickly on the lips her kiss slightly lingering savouring every moment "I love you too, I will get out of this" before walking back to Leon.

Seeing the concentration on their faces, Matt gets up walking over to Kerry "the device is a sophisticated one, with the timer, we might not be able to deactivate it in time", looking at Matt "do what you can, I want my intel officer out of this in one piece"

Seeing Matt come back to him again, Leon looks up at him "you can't get it off me can you?" Kneeling down to him, not wanting to lie "it is a sophisticated device, we are trying to get it off you before the timer goes off.", trying not to show how scared he is "what if you just take it off, how long before it will go off, I'm too young to die"

Leaning down to Leon, Kerry looks up at them "How long will that give us", seeing Matt and Pete look at each other before answering "Not long, you might make it out or only a few steps, it might detonate as soon as it is released"

Seeing Leon look up at them, and then Kerry and Josh "take it off me then, all of you get out, and as soon as it is off I will run out of here". Seeing Kerry look at him then back at the bomb squad, they nod "the bomb probably has a back up switch too, I think there covered all there bases"

Seeing Pete and Matt walk out of the base, Kerry walks over to the coms, putting the head set on

Hearing Kerrys voice coming through the coms "Charlie is everyone out of the building and away from it?", he replies "Building searched and cars and people at safe distance"

Seeing Pete and Matt from the bomb squad walk out, Lawson and Charlie hurry up to them "What's happening, where's the others", seeing the look in their eyes "their still in there, we weren't able to deactivate it"

Looking at the sergeants Lawson has fear in his eyes, damm Kerry "where is Kerry and Josh". Looking up at Lawson, Pete saw the kiss that Kerry gave him, surprised at her showing her feeling or anything going on, "they're in there still", grabbing the coms of Charlie "Kerry, Josh get out of there now". Hearing Josh's voice come through "Tell Tash I love her, if I don't come out"

…..

Looking at Josh, who shakes his head "I'm not leaving Kerry", knowing she can't talk him into leaving she shakes her head at him "What about Tash and Minka, Josh think of them and whats important to you". Seeing Josh still standing there, he looks at Kerry "could say the same about you, what about James and Lawson, Kerry, you have more to lose than me." Taking a deep breath, she is going to see them again, as she walks over to Leon "Are you sure about this and ready for this?" seeing him nod "yes, but you both have family and partners, leave now both of you, bring the bomb squad back in, maybe they can deactivate it"

Looking at Leon, the hope in his eyes, Kerry knows none of them might make it out, she might never see James or Lawson again, seeing Josh look at her "go Kerry" watching as Josh undoes part of the bomb attached to his body, Kerry stands near by, not leaving until she is sure, seeing Josh take it off him, flinging it away from them, she takes off out of the communications room hearing them near by.

…..

Watching the entrance to TR, it feels like an eternity, Lawson's eyes are glued onto the entrance, feeling Charlie nearby. Walking up to Charlie Stella reaches out to touch him "where are they?", looking down at her, he sees the fear in her eyes too.

Hearing Kerry's voice coming through "we're taking the bomb off Leon now, so see you shortly, don't worry out there, we are all going to get out of this"

Taking a deep breath, they all watch the entrance, a few seconds later an explosion fills the air, the force of the blast pushing them backwards.

Standing up, Lawson looks around, the shock on the teams faces, where is Kerry and Josh, racing forward he feels Charlies arms on his "Lawson no, you can't go in there, it isn't safe, it could go up again any minute, it will be an inferno in there?"

Knowing what Charlie is saying is true, he bites his lips "Kerry is in there and Josh". Nodding at Lawson "I know, but I really doubt anyone could of survived that explosion.


	33. Chapter 33  Any Survivors

_**Not long to go now, I thought I would try to write it from each character and see how it goes**_

Looking at the building in front of him, Lawson's mouth open, pulling away from Charlie, he runs towards the building, ignoring Charlie's yelling.

Seeing Lawson pull away, running towards the building, Charlie yells out after him, seeing Lawson ignore him, he looks to see Stella taking off too, taking a gulp he calls out after he, seeing them both ignore him, he kicks the ground with his foot.

….

Hearing footsteps behind him, Lawson looks around seeing Stella there "I'm not leaving, its Kerry, Leon and Josh in there" turning back around, they head towards what was the communications room, seeing debris and flames around. With visibility slim, they head forward.

Taking a deep breath Lawson looks around, wondering how anyone could survive this, wanting to think positive he just has too, he can't lose Kerry not again. Walking forwards he is finding it hard to see that far ahead, look around there is debris, knowing it is still unsafe, there is no way he is leaving though.

Forging on ahead, he sees a figure lying motionless on the ground, running forward he pulls wood and debris off, seeing Kerry there he leans down, feeling for a pulse on her neck, trying to get his breathing under control. Turning to face Stella "help me get her out of here", seeing Stella hurry over, looking down at Kerry before looking up "Is she alive" nodding at her "I think so but Just".

Picking up her motionless body, they quickly hurry out of TR, getting to the entrance, Lawson yells out "we need an ambulance here"

Seeing Christian and Charlie hurry over helping him "where is the ambulance", looking up and seeing the trolley there "she's hardly breathing".

Standing there looking at his girlfriend, the pain as they work on her, needing to keep his mind occupied, he runs back inside, hearing footsteps behind him again, he hears Stella's voice "We need to find Josh" hurrying inside they try to make their way further in, seeing it getting worse and worse, climbing over some debris that had fallen. Looking around Lawson sees what was Kerry's office, was it only a few hours ago he was in that office with her, feeling her lips upon his, shaking his head to clear it, they walk further inside, putting up his hand to shield him from the heat, the heat pushing them back.

Hearing footsteps behind them, they hear voices "You need to get out of here, it isn't safe". Looking up and seeing the fireman Lawson shakes his head "Our team members are in there". Seeing them look at him "Leave it to us, if anyone is alive we will get them out, the heat in there is too intense, you both need to get out of here"

With Stella standing next to him speaking to them "we need to get in there, they could still be alive, we need to get them out", seeing one of the fireman walk over to her, touching her gently "we will do everything we can to find them, you are endangering your own lives in there".

Staring at the fireman going ahead of them, Lawson looks down at Stella, her face etched with worry and fear, it wasn't that long ago, that they had lost Michael, hearing her voice "We just can't stand around and do nothing", reaching out to touch her "Stel, no, we can't go, I can't lose you or anyone else too". Seeing Stella's blue eyes look up at him, "its Josh in there" nodding his head "don't you think I know that Stel, I want to go in there, bring him out alive, he's my best mate".

Walking out the the rubble, Lawson looks around walking up to Charlie "Where's Kerry, has the ambulance taken her to hospital?". Not even looking around at the other team members, Lawson's eyes are upon Charlie "She was taken to hospital, they were having trouble trying to stablise her" feeling Charlie's hand on his arm "I'm sorry Lawson, but they don't think she'll pull through".

Ignoring the words from Charlie, Lawson shakes his head "Your wrong, she'll be fine", getting out his car keys, and walking over to Kerry's car fumbling with the keys. Sitting in the drivers seat, he tries to put them in the ignition, feeling the tears building up in his eyes.

Hearing a noise next to him, he doesn't even look up, until he feels a hand on his "I'll drive you", not even able to smile as he sees Shannon.

Running into the emergency department a short time later, he goes up to the desk trying to remain coherent "Kerry Vincent, where is she?", seeing the nurse not even looking up at him "the ambulance bought in a Kerry Vincent I need to see her".

Seeing the nurse look up at him "are you a relative of hers?", taking a deep breath wanting to scream and yell before banging his fist on the desk "I'm her partner, I need to see her"

Pacing around the waiting room for what seems like ages, before he sees Tash calling out to her, he hurries over "Tash, I need to see Kerry"

Looking at Lawson hurrying over to her, his face etched with fear worry his eyes filled with unshed tears "They're working on her now, she's gone to theatre", looking straight ahead "I need to see her" reaching out to touch his arm, wonder what happened, and where Josh was "As soon as she is out of theatre I'll let you know"

Feeling desolate and impatient, waiting he feels a hand on his arm, looking up he sees the eyes he saw so many times before, ones that he used to know so well, feeling arms around his shoulders, he finally lets the tears start to fall.

….

**STELLA**

Watching the building crumble, her face etched with shock horror and disbelief, she had already lost Michael, now Josh, Kerry and Leon were inside, hearing the explosion was worse than seeing it, looking up and seeing Lawson run inside, she quickly followed, ignoring Charlie's voice, looking around inside it was worse than she imagined, how could anyone survive this, it looked like after everything yes they had got and killed Kerry but not only her but Josh, and Leon, no one deserved this to happen to them. Seeing Lawson turn around, she knew what he would say, but there is no way she was leaving.

Watching Lawson his face studying everything, his love for Kerry so evident, if no one knew they were going out, just seeing him now would change that or show his feelings for her. Seeing Lawson stop, she hurries up to him, looking down, she didn't even need Lawson to speak, before she was helping him, frozen on the spot temporarily, she can't be, Kerry can't be dead not your boss, seeing slight relief on Lawson's face she still needs to ask Is she alive" seeing Lawson nod "I think so but Just".

Helping Lawson pick her up, her body motionless, can't even tell if she is breathing, seeing Lawson trying to control his emotions, all you want to do is save Kerry then go back and save the others. Walking out in the fresh air, it isn't long before an ambulance officers come over to help her, but Christian and Charlie come over first to help, only one thing is on her mind, she needs to go back inside, seeing Lawson hurry back inside, she follows him, the smoke getting slightly worse and vision pretty hazy now too, but no way is she turning back the heat coming from where she things the bomb must have gone off, still quite fierce, providing a barrier from them getting in, the heat pushing them backwards, turning to look at Lawson, he is faring no better, hearing footsteps she hears a voice, finally the fireman are here, there voices speaking to you as she responds "we need to get in there, they could still be alive, we need to get them out", seeing one of the fireman walk over to her, touching her gently "we will do everything we can to find them, you are endangering your own lives in there".

Staring at the fireman going ahead of them, she sees Lawson looking at her, her face etched with worry and fear, it wasn't that long ago, that they had lost Michael, they have to do something "We just can't stand around and do nothing", feeling Lawson reaching out to touch her "Stel, no, we can't go, I can't lose you or anyone else too". Looking at Lawson, it is his best friend in there too, how can he just walk away, doesn't he care, "its Josh in there" nodding his head "don't you think I know that Stel, I want to go in there, bring him out alive, he's my best mate".

Watching Lawson walk out, she feels helpless, partly defeated, no way can she leave them there, with no choice she follows Lawson out into the fresh air.

Looking around she sees Shannon and Christian just standing there, there mouths open in shock too, what happened how did this happen. Her eyes fixed on the entrance she sees one of the fireman come out, seeing him walk up to Charlie, she follows him, hearing him say "We have found a body in there, we will need dental records to be able to identify it, sorry it is pretty badly burnt."

Putting her hand up on her mouth, she tries to stop the sob forming, but before she knows it, her eyes are filled up with tears, her knees buckling on the ground, it is either Leon or Josh, the thought of never seeing either of them again.

Feeling arms around her drawing her towards him, stroking her head, she feels the warmth and tenderness, thinking it is Shannon, the tears fall, she hears a voice, deep and masculine, Charlie, snuggling against his chest the tears don't stop falling.

…

**SHANNON **

Watching the explosion happen, they can not move, looking around, hoping that there team members will come out, as time passes and no one comes out, seeing Lawson tear into the building, Shannon wants to follow him, make sure he is alright, waiting for him to come out, she sees the lifeless body in there arms, still glued to the spot she can not move, all she sees is Lawson's face, his eyes filled with unshed tears, the worry, fear on his face, but worse of all the love, the look in his eyes, is filled with love for Kerry, the woman he now loves, not her.

Watching Lawson run back in again, it seems forever until he comes out, this time with no one. Watching him walk over to Charlie, and speak to him, before getting into the car, watching him trying to start it, she hurries over, putting the keys in she hops in the drivers seat, in no state to drive, she is able to do something, even with everything that has happened there is part of her that will always love him, looking at him, she wants to comfort him, pull him towards her, even kiss him, anything to try to make him feel better.

Dropping him off at the hospital, she watches as he quickly opens the door before hurrying out not even glancing back towards the emergency department.

Driving out of the hospital Shannon turns around finding a park, walking into the hospital, it isn't long before she sees Lawson, looking so alone, and fragile, walking up to him, she touches his arm, seeing him look at her, the tears in his eyes, the worry, pulling him towards him, she feels the tears start to fall.

…..

**CHARLIE**

Looking around everything is secure people away, all they need now is for Kerry and Josh to come out, not surprised that either of them haven't listened to him, Kerry never did do anything he wanted her to do, hearing their voices he sighs a bit in relief that they are coming out, relaxing slightly, he looks up as she hears the explosion, his eyes wide waiting like the others for the three of them to come out, after a few seconds with no movement, he fears the worse, seeing Lawson start to go under the cordon, he reaches out and grabs him, pulling him back, feeling him pull away from his grip all he can do is watch, calling out he isn't surprised he is ignoring him, shaking his head at Lawson it is only getting worse, turning around to face the other members he sees Stella run under, his blood starting to run cold, calling out louder and firmer, he sees Stella ignoring him, his eyes narrowing, damm his team members, why can't they listen to him when it counts. Turning to face the other two "don't either of you two try anything stupid"

Watching a short time later, he hears Lawson's voice yelling out, running over with Christian, he sees Kerry in his arms, turning around to call out for the ambulance, it is only a few seconds before a trolley arrives.

Looking down at his boss, lying their motionless, his face showing no emotion, he needs to keep it together, he can't fall apart not now, but then he isn't as close to them as the others are, its only be a few weeks since he arrived. Looking up at the ambulance officers as they work on her "she's alive but only just", all he can do is nod, looking around he can't see Stella or Lawson again, turning to Shannon his voice coming out firmer "where are Lawson and Stella now" seeing her point to the entrance "they've gone back inside" shaking his head "do they have a death wish", seeing Shannon looking at him "what?", her voice softer than normal "I'd do the same, its called loyalty and looking out for your team mate, you should try it Charlie". Turning around to face Shannon "No its called stupidity"

Hearing one of the ambulance officers call out "we have a code blue", he turns around watching the ambulance officers working on Kerry, hearing them call out "we have a rhythm, very faint". Walking over to them, he needs to know but is slightly scared to ask "How is she?", seeing them not even looking at him "its not good, we're got her back now, but she is in a bad way critical, we're taking her to hospital now"

Seeing Stella and Lawson walk out a short time later, he walks over to them "Don't go back there again, the place is unstable, and its not safe, I'm not losing any more team members". Seeing Lawson look around there is no way to say it "she's taken to hospital, she's in a bad way Lawson, they're not sure if she will make it" watching him walk off to the car.

Seeing the fireman walk over to him, his face grim, he knows the news won't be good, who could make it out of there, listening to it, all he can do is nod, not really wanting to know if it is Leon or Josh, one of them dead, and if the truth be told it will be two by the end of it, if not three, not wanting to think about it, all he wants to do is go away, want none of this to happen, the need to stay and find out.

Turning around he sees Stella on the ground, her face wet with tears, the sobs getting louder, walking over to her, he pulls her towards him, wrapping his arms around her body, was it only last night that she was in her arms, wanting to kiss the top of her head, hold her and never let her go, she's already lost her best friend, now this, holding her tight he feels his vest and arms getting wet from the tears, life is cruel, and all he can do is be there for her

…..

Arriving at the hospital a while later, Charlie walks in, seeing Shannon, Christian there with Lawson, sitting on a chair near by, he feels a bit of an outsider, seeing Shannon and Christian look at him, he shakes his head "still no news of the second person, the fireman hadn't found a body, but considering the heat from it, it might be days.

Looking at the group, Charlie breaks the silence "Has anyone told Tash yet?", seeing Shannon shake her head "No, she's been in theatre and emergency, we wanted to wait to see if anything…" not finishing the sentence

Hearing footsteps coming into the room Lawson looks up his face filled with hope as they see the doctor his face grim. The team looking up at him, Lawson's face filled with hope, "I'm sorry, her injuries were too severe, we weren't able to save her"

Looking around the room the shock on their faces, and cries filling the room, looking up Shannon sees Lawson get up, his face showing no emotion, no tears or grief, as he leaves the room, calling out after him "Lawson", feeling Christian's hand on her arm, shaking his head "leave him Shan, he needs to be by himself"


	34. Chapter 34  Aftermath

Looking around the room the shock on their faces, and cries filling the room, looking up Shannon sees Lawson get up, his face showing no emotion, no tears or grief, as he leaves the room, calling out after him "Lawson", feeling Christian's hand on her arm, shaking his head "leave him Shan, he needs to be by himself"

Watching Lawson get up and walk out of the room, Stella, tries to remain strong, "when will they know who the other body is?" Looking at Stella Charlie shakes his head "could be a few days now"

Looking around at everyone, Shannon is numb, so many times in the past few weeks, she had wished Kerry dead, or away from TR, now it is true, she feels awful her boss might have been a lot of things, but deep down, she cared for TR and her team members. Looking up at Charlie "someone needs to tell Tash, about Josh" Seeing Charlie nod "I'll do it soon", shaking her head "she needs to hear it from one of us, I'll do it Charlie"

Listening to everyone speak, it becomes too much for Stella yelling out "No one should have to tell Tash, or James or anyone, this shouldn't of happened, we caught the Rainey's why didn't someone, keep an eye on the rest of them, we all knew what they are like, violent thugs, but no one did, and look what happened"

Glancing at Shannon, Charlie sees Stella get up and storm out of the waiting room, turning to see Shannon's worried face "I'll go after her, you see Tash", nodding at Charlie, Shannon wonders why he didn't ask her to go after her friend.

Walking out of the hospital, Charlie looks around for Stella, despite coming across to the team without much feeling, there is one person in the team, he had found himself drawn too, and even trying to distance himself, he keeps finding himself coming back to her. Looking around, he sees Stella running towards the road, calling out to her, he sees her pause momentarily before continuing on.

Running towards the road, he catches up with Stella, just as she is about to hail a taxi, seeing her turn towards him, "what do you want Charlie, I'm off duty now"

Feeling Charlie reach out and touch her arm, she pulls away from him, his gentle touch sending shivers through her body. Seeing his caring eyes look into hers "I'll give you a lift", looking up at him slightly confused for a moment before her eyes widening "You want more of last night". Seeing him sigh "Stel, give me a break, I'm worried about you".

Seeing her eyes harden slightly "Don't need to worry about me Charlie I can take care of myself"

Grabbing her arm "Ouch, Charlie", then seeing his face soften "Like last time" before continuing on quickly "Stel, all I'm giving you is a lift nothing else". Seeing her nod "Save me a taxi fare"

….

Driving away from the hospital, Lawson's frame of mind not concentrating, hearing the horns beep at him several times. Pulling up outside the remain of TR base, he gets out of the car, walking over to the site he looks around, his face expressionless, walking over some of the rubble, he looks up at what was the building, despite the explosion the building is still mainly in tact, trying not to hope, but maybe just maybe Josh was still alive, walking under the cordon, he walks towards the building. Staring at the entrance, not able to go any further, was it not long ago, that so many happy memories were there.

Walking slightly forward he looks inside was it only about 4 ½ years ago that Tactical Response was formed, they were fine without Kerry, but despite the rocky start the working relationship bloomed, each giving each other a hard time, the underlining chemistry there but not really explored until Grace died, blinking back tears, why did it take so long for them to get their act together, the sizzling chemistry there all along but neither willing to make it go any further, a one night stand or a few more nights an that was it.

Despite everything, there were mostly happy memories there, despite losing a few team members, drinks after work, meeting Shannon.

Looking up he sees a fireman, walking towards him, looking up at him trying not to show any hope, he sees him shake his head "We're still looking", stepping one step closer to the building, not really caring about himself at the moment in time, feeling a hand on his shoulder he turns around "Its still very unstable and unsafe in there, we are still looking for them" nodding at them, he turns around, ignoring the phone ringing in his pocket.

Hopping in the car, he tears away from the base, pulling up outside the house a short time later, hopping out of the car, he slowly walks up to the front door, knocking on the door, it isn't long before it is answered, seeing the tears in Tash's eyes, he gathers someone has already told her about Josh, following her inside, he looks up at her face, without either of them realising or knowing what they are doing, their lips meet, as Tash's brings her arms around her, as they continue kissing.

….

Pulling up at Stella's house, Charlie gets out of the car, seeing Stella turn to face him "What are you doing Charlie, I'm fine go home to whoever". Standing at the car he watches as Stella walks towards the door, calling out to her "Want to get a drink then", seeing her turn and smile at him slightly "Only if your buying"

Pulling up at the pub a short time later, it isn't long before, the drinks start to flow, sculling them, Stella is surprised to see Charlie keeping up with her. Seeing him looking at her "Drinking helping you Stel?", glaring at him "Piss off Charlie" . Hearing her phone ring, she looks down at the phone, she answers it her voice slightly tipsy "Shan, come and join us" smiling to herself as she sees Charlie's questioning eyes.

Walking into the pub a short time later, Stella looks up surprised to see Christian there with Shannon, he usually went home to his wife Annie.

Sitting down at the table, Shannon glances at Stella and Charlie, Charlie's chair is way to close to Stella's, making a mental note to question her friend about it.

Sipping his drink slowly, Christian looks around at the few remaining team mates, even though he had only been in TR for a short period of time, he loved the team, and the closeness they felt. Looking at Charlie "What happens now?", seeing Charlie shake his head "Not now Christian, no work talk, except to say, tomorrow, everyone to be at HQ at 11 am for debriefing, counselling etc" then raising his glass "to Josh, Leon and Kerry" Seeing Christian look at him "Josh or Leon could still be alive",

Charlie looks at Christian, deciding not to say anything "Anyone seen or heard from Lawson", looking more at Shannon as she shakes her head "I tried calling him but no answer"

Sipping her drink, Stella looks up "The two of them were definitely going out then?" seeing Shannon nod before answering "yes, for a few weeks now".

Christian looks around the table "has anyone told James, that his mother is…."

Seeing Stella look at him "you can say it Christian, Kerry is dead", Looking up at Stella his youthfulness showing "I just can't believe she is dead, what about James, does he have any idea"

Charlie, glancing at Christian, not really knowing "I think someone would of told him, if not, they will when they think it the right time"

Looking down, Christian continues "when is the right time, to tell her son, that his mum died, he's in witness protection"

Shannon glances at Christian "Kerry knew what she was doing, she knew it was dangerous Christian, but it didn't stop her from doing it, she not only risked her life, but she put the whole TR in danger"

Looking at Shannon, hearing the rumours about why she and Lawson broke up "James still lost his mum, you have no idea, what it is like when your kids are in danger, or wanting to protect them"

Listening in, Stella looks at Christian "Either do you Christian", looking around the table "I know I'd want to protect them, and more understanding than you do"

Still bitter over what Kerry did to her, Shannon "There is protecting and helping your kid, and putting other peoples life in danger and getting them killed"

Sick of Shannon's attitude, Christian looks at her "She is dead now Shannon, give her a break, just because she and Lawson were going out, and Lawson and you broke up, she did what she thought was right"

Looking at Shannon, tensing up and Christian, Charlie interrupts them "She had her own way of dealing with things even if it wasn't the right or correct way, but she was loyal to her squad all of you"

Stella nodding at Charlie, then looking at Shannon "TR won't be the same without Kerry, Leon or Josh, Leon and his cheezel towers, or funny things he did, Kerry is just Kerry, as hard as she was, I'm amazed she never did anything about over hearing us about rooting her on her birthday", seeing Charlie and Christian raise their eyebrows there eyes in surprise as Shannon smiles "I wonder if anyone did knock on her door, remember Josh saying I pay $100 and root Kerry" before both of them saying at the same time "Lawson"

Walking out of the pub a short time later they say goodbye to each other, walking away from the pub around the corner, Stella turns around seeing Charlie behind her, looking up at him "I'm going to another pub", following her down the road, they don't go far, before he feels Stella's hand against his chest, pushing him against the wall, before kissing him hard, feeling her hand move down his body he whispers "this isn't the place" feeling her lips silencing him "live life"

…..

Walking out of Tash's place the next morning, Lawson hops in his car, gripping the steering wheel tight, staring straight ahead, his head muddled, what had he done, pulling away from the curb, not looking, ignoring the beeping horns. Pulling up at the traffic lights, his thoughts back to the previous night, what on earth had he done, what possessed him to do it, not even hearing the horns beeping behind him, looking up finally he sees the lights about to turn red, putting his foot down and tearing through the intersection.

Pulling up at Williamstown a short time later, he parks the car, sitting there staring straight ahead, what would of Kerry said if she found out, or Josh, thumping the wheel with his head, that is why it happened, why he slept with Tash, in one day, he lost his girlfriend, the love of his life and best friend.

Getting the carton of beers out of the car, he walks out to the end of the pier, sitting down looking over the water, throwing back the first beer, the smooth cool liquid down his throat. Blinking away the tears, was it really 3 years ago, that they ended up here one night, not long after Grace had died, walking along the water talking, and walking to the end of the pier, one thing lead to another, in the moonlight, Kerry looked so beautiful, he felt he had to kiss her. Sculling another bottle he throws it into the water.

…

Hearing his phone ring Charlie reaches out to answer it, feeling his arms wrapped around someone, not just someone, but the person he has wanted for so long, looking for his phone, it stops ringing, feeling Stella move, as he moves over to his side, seeing her eyes looking up into his, as she moves her mouth back up to his. Responding to her kisses, he pulls her towards him, making love to her.

Hearing his phone ring again a short time later, he moves away from Stella, hanging up he turns to Stella the surprise evident on his face "That was…Josh has been found", seeing Stella's face he looks into her eyes "He's alive Stella, just but they pulled him out and he is alive,"


	35. Chapter 35 too much

Looking at Charlie in disbelief as he starts to get off the bed "Are you sure?", not looking at Stella "I'm going to check it out before we let anyone know, you coming?". Nodding at Charlie "give me a minute to get ready"

Watching her throw her clothes on quickly "Really does take you about a minute" laughing at Charlie "lets go"

Arriving at the hospital, Stella follows Charlie in, looking around, she half expects Lawson to be around, "This place gives me the creeps" Walking up to the desk, Stella sees Tash race in and up to them "Is it true they've found Josh?". Seeing Charlie looking slightly confused, Stella realises he had never met Tash, she whispers "Tash Josh's partner". Looking at her "I'm not sure" seeing Tash looking at her "stop bullshitting, what do you know"

Raising his eyes slightly, as Tash pulls no punches "I got a phone call, we're here following it up, how did you find out", looking at both of them "I got a call from the hospital, but they didn't say much"

Feeling Stella's eyes upon her "we were just going to emergency now", seeing Tash nod, her eyes red and dark as they walk along in silence, Stella feels Charlie's hand touch hers, the touch soft and gentle.

Arriving at the desk, Charlie sees Tash go ahead of him, before turning around, slight relief in her eyes as she nods "They have found him, he is alive", hearing Stella let out a deep breath she had been holding fear still in her eyes, before turning to Charlie "You need to tell Lawson"

Following Tash through emergency, Stella watches as Tash walks over to Josh's bed, looking at the tubes coming out of him, deep down she knows it isn't good, watching as Tash wipes her eyes as she turns around "he needs to go to theatre, there is internal bleeding, swelling on the brain…" turning to walk out, Stella can't hear anymore, as she looks at Charlie "we need to find Lawson"

…..

Driving to Lawson's place, Stella tries his phone again as it rings out she turns to Charlie "shit, just answer the phone", arriving at his place, his car not there, they walk up to the door, walking away with no answer, driving away Charlie turns to Stella "where to now?", hitting the dashboard "Lawson's been staying with Kerry in the city" then looking at Charlie's face "did you know about the two of them", keeping his eyes on the road "had an idea, Kerry kept denying it though" giving a brief smile "they both did, Lawson wouldn't admit it either" then looking at Charlie "You can't help who you fall in love with" before facing the front again "with them it was just hard".

Arriving at the hotel, Stella jumps out of the car, walking up to the desk, she waits for Charlie, as they show their badge, shown up to the room, opening the door, Stella sees Lawson sitting on the lounge surrounded by bottles his face unshaven, walking over and kicking him gently "Oi, get up", seeing him open his eyes slightly "piss off Stel", walking over to him "they've found Josh, he's at the hospital"

Looking at Stella did he hear right repeating it "what, they've found Josh, how is he?", taking a deep breath as she continues "You need to get to the hospital now" then looking around "get ready, we'll take you"

Shaking his head, he didn't want company, nor anyone to drive him, all he wanted is for Kerry to be here with him, for the previous night not to happen. "I'll drive myself", seeing Stella in his face her voice firm "Lawson, your in no state to drive, how much have you drunk, I don't want another member/friend to die, just get up, and we'll drive you, just get ready"

Looking at Stella, ok he did have a lot to drink, "I don't want company, I'll catch a taxi", seeing Stella shake her head "You mightn't want company, you can't lock yourself away in here" then softly "You really think Kerry wants you to do this to yourself, Josh needs you Lawson"

Glaring at Stella, knowing deep down she is correct in no mood to admit it or care his voice loud "Really think Kerry wouldn't be drinking here now," Looking directly at Lawson unfazed by his words, "I'm waiting here for you and not leaving until you come with us."

….

Arriving at the hospital, Lawson walks through the corridors, the same corridors as he walked through yesterday, the hospital where Kerry died, where he lost the love of his life, walking into the waiting room he sees Tash in a corner, seeing her look up at him, her eyes red, walking over to her, he sits next to her, her voice soft as she speaks "he's in theatre now, he's been lucky to make it this far, his injuries are severe.", Looking around "Minka not here", shaking her head "she had a few choice words to say to me, said she'd come later, he's like a father to her" putting her head in her hands "He has to pull through"

Seeing Josh being wheeled back into the room, Lawson sees Stella, Charlie walk back into the room, as they wait for the doctor to speak. Seeing the doctor look around at them "His injuries are severe, we did what we could, but the prognosis isn't good, he suffered a huge blood loss, hypothermia, all we can do is wait"

Seeing Stella and Charlie walk out of the room, Lawson sees Tash lean down, tears pouring down her face, putting his arm on her back for comfort, he turns around as he hears a voice "You two disgust me"

Lawson turning to face Minka "I'm just supporting you mum Minka" her voice bitter and angry "Is that what you call it, having sex with her, I thought Josh was you best friend, get out of here, your not wanted in this room"

Sighing as Tash listens to Minka her voice firm trying to stop the tears "Mink, stop it, Josh doesn't need to hear this" Glaring at her mum "Are you going to tell him, what a skank your been, sleeping with his best friend, the moment you thought he was dead you hop into bed with his best friend"

Her voice weary "that's not what happened Minka, keep your voice down"

Looking at Josh and Tash, the toll of everything that had happened "Minka, Josh needs our help now if he has any hope of pulling through, just leave it for the time being"

Pulling her face up in disgust at Lawson "you'd love that, just stay away from my mother, shes with Josh not you"

Hearing the machines beep, Tash walks over to Josh, before running to the door "code blue, code blue"

Not able to take anymore, Lawson walks quickly out of the room, Josh his best friend, not only did he betray Josh, he betrayed Kerry too, looking back at Josh's room, he hurries out.

Hearing the loud voices coming from Josh's room, Stella and Charlie walk towards the room, as they see Lawson hurry out, pausing briefly, walking towards the room, they hear machines beeping, gripping Charlie's hand tightly, bringing back memories, the noise of when Michael was in hospital, staring at the door briefly before the door being closed, seeing Tash and Minka there, she looks at them seeing tears forming in Tash's eyes as she stares at the door waiting.

…

Walking out of the hospital quickly, Lawson ignores the footsteps behind him, not caring who it is, no one will stop him. Feeling a arm on his, the grip firm, "Lawson wait, you can't go after the Rainey's by yourself, you've got no back up, nothing, let us all do it in the morning"

Seeing Lawson's eyes bore into hers "this is Josh, Stella, thought you of all people would want to do something, Im not letting them get away with killing Kerry"

Feeling Stella's hand still on his arm "Were not, but you can't go after them by yourself, Lawson your not thinking straight, you can't do this Lawson, not now. Don't let Kerry's death be for nothing"

Looking at Stella releasing her grip on his arm "I've got to do this Stella, I thought you of all people would realize that". Maintaining his eyes contact "I do Lawson, but we're talking about your job here, TR just think about what it is your doing."

Watching Lawson go off, Stella kicks the ground in frustration, hearing footsteps she turns around seeing Charlie there "we're got to go after Lawson"

Seeing Stella's frantic voice and eyes "This is Lawson Stella, the one who abides by the rules, he wouldn't risk TR, he bloody better not" shaking her head wanting to shake Charlie "he's not thinking straight Charlie, did you ever think I would do what I do" not waiting for a reply "he's lost Kerry, Josh looks like he won't pull through, he wants revenge, he's going to do something stupid, we need to stop him, you can either help me or I'm going by myself"

Seeing her hands on her hips, she looks so adorable, all he wants to do is pull her towards him, "he better not do anything stupid, do you even know where to start looking" Her eyes fixed straight ahead nodding "I've got a pretty good idea, the Rainey's, the restaurant/club by the water" glancing at Stella "he's going to get himself killed if he goes in there by himself". Not even looking at Charlie "I don't think he really cares at the moment" then looking at Charlie "Want me to call Shannon and Christian?" Shaking his head "Not yet, he mightn't even be there, but we do need to get some weapons, and the TR car". Looking at Charlie, his face with concern on it, she smiles when she sees Charlie looking at her as he reaches briefly for her hand glancing at her "I had a great time last night" seeing her smile back at him "so did I"

…..

Arriving at the restaurant, Stella looks around, then pointing to Charlie "over there, that's Kerry's car". Nodding "I'll get Shannon and Christian here and see where Amber is", looking at Charlie in confusion "Amber?", nodding "see if she can log into the cameras we have, and see what she can find?" the realisation of what the bomb at base has really meant.

Seeing TR2, pull up a short time later, Shannon and Christian walking over to them, "We don't know if Lawson is in there, Shannon, Stella, go around the back, see what you can find, we need an idea of how many is in there before going in, be careful, they are trigger happy"

Looking at the computer, Charlie sees Amber has managed to tap what cameras there are in for him, looking at it with Christian, hearing Shannon's voice in her coms "there is maybe one we can see, but no sign of Lawson though"

Hearing Stella's voice coming through "Charlie we can't wait, we need to get in there now" hearing Charlie's voice coming through "Hold your position"

Hearing Shannons voice near hers "I can't believe your sleeping with him, Stella of all people Charlie?" Not looking at her friend "He's not that bad Shan, it just happened" Her eyes fixed straight ahead not looking at Stella "I never thought I'd hear you of all people say that" smiling "me neither, but I don't want it stop"

Hearing Charlie's voice coming through "on my count of three, Shan and Stella go down, we'll go upstairs" hearing the tap of the two coms. Storming into the restaurant, the first guy taken by surprise, walking around the first floor, they see nothing, Stella into her com "Charlie nothing on this floor" hearing his surprise "Looks clear up here also"

Walking slowly down the stairs the walk through the storage and the cellar, hearing noises they walk cautiously ahead, with their guns raised and poised, walking ahead they see two figures "Police" seeing them ignore their words, the walk closer, looking closely they glance quickly at each other, as they see Lawson punching the guy. Calling out to Lawson, Shannon sees he is ignoring her "Lawson stop" walking closer to him, she looks at the other guy, blood over his face her voice firm "That's enough Lawson, leave it" walking over to him, she pulls him away from him, seeing Stella walking quickly over, to cuff the guy.

Flinging Shannon's arm off his, he glares at the guy before walking away "he got off lightly"

….

**A FEW DAYS LATER**

Arriving at the church for the memorial service for Leon, Stella waits out the front with Charlie, Shannon, Christian and Annie, looking around and glancing at her watch she turns to the others "Anyone heard from Lawson, I know he and Leon had their differences but he should be here?"

Feeling Annie's hand in his Christian looks around "He'll be here", seeing Shannon looking at him sceptically "He would have been here by now if he was, Lawson's never late" walking towards the entrance, feeling Stella stay behind, she turns to look at her "Just give it another minute", seeing Shannon nod "Even if Lawson and Leon had their differences, he should be here"

Chrisitan looks at Annie before looking at Shannon, "He's just lost his girlfriend Shannon, give him a break" then looking at Annie "I can't even imagine what he is going through" feeling her squeeze his hand.

Standing near Stella, Charlie looks at her, his thoughts slightly similar even though Stella isn't his girlfriend, if it was her, it would be hard.

Parking his car, before walking the short distance to the church, Lawson looks at his watch, before continuing on, looking up he sees Stella looking around, if truth be told he doesn't want to be here, he wished none of this happened, he is partly in charge of TR, was any of this his fault.

About to turn to walk into the service, Stella sees Lawson walking towards them, his face still unshaven, turning around they walk into the church.

Walking out of the church after the service, Lawson looks around, looking up he sees a figure near by watching it all, the same person who he saw looking into the church during the service, there is something about the person, something familiar, wanting a closer look he walks away from the team, walking away from the crowd he looks around, the person now no where to be seen, shaking his head, was it his imagination, before walking to the team saying goodbye, and walking towards his car.


	36. Chapter 36  New beginnings

_**Thanks for the great reviews, thank you. **_

_**Sorry I'm not a Lawson/Shannon fan, so don't think they will end back together, not sure yet though. **_

_**Had trouble deciding what ending, had two endings in mind, have decided to go with this one, might post the other too, not sure let me know what you think**_

_**The second last chapter, thanks for all for reading**_

…_**..**_

**The next day…**

Walking into HQ, Lawson looks around seeing the team there, the remaining few member, unfortunately one of which is Charlie. Seeing the team sitting down, Charlie looks at Lawson, he should of spoken to him first, but his state of mind lately, he didn't, looking around "Guys settle down" hearing the noise cease he looks at each team member "As you all could of guessed Tactical Response, base, is no longer operational for the time being, it is being rebuilt but in the mean time, we don't have the equipment to deal with the situations we are trained for. They are looking for another place temporary, to operate out of, but until that happens, you have a few choices, you can take a break, annual leave and yes you will be paid for up to 6 weeks, have a transfer to another section or go on general duties until it is up and running, or if you want out of tactical response, after everything that has happened, talk to me, and we can transfer you elsewhere", looking around at the team, he sees them all looking at each other "You have a week to decide what to do."

Watching Lawson get up off the chair, Charlie calls out to him, seeing him turn around "When were you going to tell me this Charlie, you don't run Tactical response, your not the operational section of it", knowing how angry Lawson was going to be "How much have you cared about much lately Lawson, they had been trying to call you, you haven't even returned any phone calls, they want your input and help to rebuilt Tactical Response, if you still want to be in it"

Glaring at Charlie, did he still want to be in Tactical Response, "tell them I'm in, and don't keep me out of the loop, you staying or going", trying not to smile at Lawson, shrugging "Not sure yet, they need someone to do Kerry's job", seeing Lawson look at him his eyebrows slightly raised "Not up to the job Charlie?", giving a short laugh "I'm the careerist one Lawson, but leading Tactical Response is more for you than me"

Wondering Charlie's real meaning, Lawson shakes his head "Really, I would of thought heading up Tactical Response, you would of jumped at it, now that Kerry isn't head of it". Turning to face Lawson "Not having to answer to Kerry, and have her favouritism, and being totally in charge, I could really see the benefits there, your right Lawson, could be the way for me" walking out of the room.

**A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER**

Arriving at the church Shannon looks around, feeling slightly out of place, despite everything she thought she never wanted this day to happen, walking towards the church, she sees Charlie and Stella arrive, raising her eyebrows at her friend, she waits until Stella catches up to her, before grabbing her arm, pulling her away from Charlie's amused look.

Walking away from the others, Shannon turns to Stella "spill, what is going on between you and Charlie", seeing Stella trying to look innocent "nothing, Shan, this isn't the place for this". Seeing Shannon still looking at her "Stel, please be careful, Charlie, I'm not blind I know there is something going on here"

Looking around before turning to Shannon "I've slept with him a couple of times, that's it" before walking off, leaving Shannon there open mouthed, before catching up to her friend, whispering "We're going out for drinks, and your telling me everything", nodding and whispering back "I will Shan, but not now" then looking around "Have you seen Lawson?", shaking her head "not since the hospital with….Josh". Seeing Charlie standing near the door Stella walks over to him waiting, looking up as she feels Charlie's hand on hers, pointing, seeing Lawson arrive.

Arriving at the church, Lawson pauses outside, looking around at all the people there, wondering if James will be there. His question answered a short time later as a car pulls up, surrounded by plain clothes policemen, a figure is taken quickly out of the car led into the church.

Looking down the road he sees the car arrive, pulling up at the church as the coffin is taken out, staring at it, is this all that is left of Kerry.

Seeing the hurst arrive, it all is so realm, not long ago they attended Micheal's funeral, now Kerry and in a few days Leon and she doesn't even want to think about Josh, seeing James arrive, Stella wondered if he would turn up, not being able to attend his own mothers funeral, yet he is here. Wanting Charlie's arms around her, she feels his touch against her soft, and subtle, but there for her, hearing his voice whisper "you ok", nodding she sees Lawson start to walk towards the entry, her eyes blinking back tears, she had never seen Lawson looking so desolate, he has always been so strong and in control.

Watching with the others, Shannons' eyes on Lawson, wanting to wrap her arms around him comfort him, be there for him, glancing she smiles to herself, seeing Charlie's hand on Stella's back briefly, seeing the others start to walk towards the church she follows them.

Walking inside the church Lawson stops at the door briefly, watching the procession down the aisle, walking down towards the front, his eyes towards the front he sees the coffin there, so final Kerry in there, sitting down near James, he sees James surrounded by plain clothes police. Putting his head on his hand, taking a deep breath, he can get through this, away in his own world, he looks up as someone sits down next to him, seeing Shannon there, and the rest of the squad near by, he looks at her, deep down slightly grateful for someone next to him, feeling her reach for his hand, looking up he sees the minister there as the service starts.

Walking out of the church after the service Lawson watches as the coffin is put in the car, taken to the crematorian, looking around he sees James quickly ushered into a car, pulling away. Not seeing them, but more feeling people around him he looks around seeing the TR team there, hearing Stella's voice still full of emotion "coming to the pub Lawson" not wanting to be with people but the urge for a drink he nods, but before he can walk away he feels someone grabbing his arm, turning around he sees Deputy Commissioner, David there, looking into his face as he talks softly, slightly confused he sees the team watching him as he follows David to his car.

The drive not taking too long, wondering where he is going, getting out a short while later, he follows David, opening the door, he walks in, looking around he sees another door opening, closing his eyes and opening them again, he stares, his eyes are playing tricks on him, his eyes fixated in front of him, the voice saying "Hello Lawson" a voice he has heard so many times before, this time soft, and not the usual air of assertiveness or confidence, her blue eyes on him searching his.

Staring at the person in front of him, no it can't be real, seeing her walk towards him, touching his arm, before walking over to sit down, seeing Lawson looking at her, searching for answers.

Looking at Kerry, Lawson is in shock managing to say "How, what why, I've just been to your funeral?", giving him a small half smile "I think you know the answer to that, I'm going into witness protection Lawson, they faked my death"

Looking at Lawson and Kerry, David turns to Kerry, "You have a few minutes, then your out of here" turning to David, her eyes pleading "Give us more time David, half an hour", looking at them both, he nods "I'll be back then," then turning to Lawson "not a word of this to anyone"

Looking into her eyes "where you just going to leave without letting me know?". Her eyes downcast slightly, still looking at him "yes", standing up, but still looking at her needing answers "what changed you, why tell me now?". Taking a deep breath "I had to tell you, I've heard what's been happening, your going to get yourself killed Laws, leave it,"

Trying to understand it, his voice slightly bitter and angry, the past weeks, thinking he had lost her, "that's the only reason, nothing to do with, the fact I am your boyfriend, I love you Kerry?"

Looking away from Lawson briefly before walking over to him and reaching for his hand "that's why I had to do this Lawson, if anything happened to you because of me… I wanted to tell you, more than anything but I couldn't. I'm sorry"

Feeling Lawson's strong big hands over hers "What about us?", blinking back the tears in her eyes "there is no us anymore Lawson, as of tonight, there is no more Kerry Vincent, she died and was cremated today"

Looking at Kerry's face, he doesn't know what is worse, thinking she was dead, or knowing she was alive, and never seeing her again, "So this is it, I won't ever see you again?" nodding unable to speak, she feels his hands cupping her face, trying not to show what she is feeling, putting her hand on her stomach, the one thing keeping her going.

Looking at Lawson's face, his lips, blinking back the tears that are forming trying to be strong, shaking her head "I….I leave tonight" Looking into her eyes "let me come with you Kerry,", seeing her shake her head "I can't let you do that Lawson, you'll never see your family again, friends, be in TR, you'll have to give up your life here in Melbourne", holding her hand still "It doesn't matter Kerry I want to be with you, your giving up everything"

Biting her lips "I'll have James with me, I don't have a choice here Lawson, you do, you'll end up regretting it, and hating me for it, I can't let you do it to yourself Lawson"

Understanding and knowing what Kerry is saying, it all doesn't matter only she matters, leaning towards her, she feels his lips upon hers, the kiss sweet and lingering, wanting to pull him towards him, wanting him inside of her, pulling away from him "I will always love you Lawson, ever since I saw you in TR, look after TR for me"

Opening the door, David sees them kissing, not envying the position Kerry was in, wishing there was some other way to help her, watching her pull away as she turns away, seeing the tears forming in her eyes, he walks over to Lawson "this meeting never happened, Kerry is dead, not a word of this to anyone", then turning to Kerry "its all set for tonight, get some rest, and I'll pick you up at 6.30"

Nodding at David, before looking at Lawson, the tears she had been blinking back forcing their way to her eyes, bringing her hands up to touch her lips, before walking out the door, breaking down as soon as she is by herself.

Watching Kerry walk out the door, for the last time, Lawson picks up a glass on the table throwing it. Watching Lawson throw the glass, David looks at him concerned, he had hoped knowing Kerry wasn't dead would help him, now he wonders if he had made things worse he should never of let Kerry talk him around. Seeing Lawson look at him "When is she leaving?", wondering if he should tell him the truth, knowing he could be trusted "7 pm tonight, she is on a flight out of Melbourne"

Watching David walk out of the room, Lawson looks around, looking briefly at what David had left behind, before seeing him coming back to pick it up.

…

Driving away, deep in though, Lawson drives to TR base, the area cordoned off, no one around, sitting in the car, can he let Kerry go, never to see her again, can he give up all of this, never see his friends again, if only Josh was around to talk.

Arriving at the hospital a short time later, Lawson walks into Josh's room, walking in he sees his eyes open, wondering why Tash isn't there, seeing a nurse there, he looks at her "he opened his eyes up this morning", pulling up a chair sitting next to him "You gave us a scare mate?", seeing Josh staring at him, no smile on his face the words soft, taking effort to speak "Is it true, did you fuck Tash?", wondering how he found out so soon, he nods "I'm sorry"

Seeing Josh trying to sit up "Your sorry what about Kerry,?", his eyes downcast, wishing he could tell Josh the truth "She died in the explosion, and we all thought you were dead"

Looking at Lawson in the face "I might as well be, you thought I was dead, so you go and screw my girlfriend, we're finished Lawson, we're over"

Walking out of the room, Lawson sees Tash standing there, walking over to her "How did Josh find out, if he only woke up this morning". Seeing the fury in Lawson's eyes "Mink and I were arguing again, and he heard", she watches as he storms out of the hospital

…

Driving to Southbank, Lawson walks around the river, deep in thought, he has stuffed up so much, his best friend, wanting nothing to do with him, staring across the water. Looking at his watch, he runs back to his car, driving back to the hotel, fixing up the bill and checking out, he packs up his things, quickly going back to his house.

Hopping into his car, he glances at the clock, 6.30, the traffic still heavy, blowing the horn, he needs to get out of Melbourne, finally getting out of the city, the traffic thins out, putting his foot down and he accelerates down the freeway.

Taking the Point Cooke turn off, Lawson looks at the clock again 6.55 pm, putting his foot down, he speeds through the township, arriving at point Cooke RAAF, showing his badge he looks at the security guard "There's a plane booked by the police, where is it taking off from?" shaking his head, Lawson hits the steering wheel in frustration, taking a deep breath "where do the planes take off from?" following the directions he quickly heads down

Pulling up the car, he quickly gets out, grabbing his bags, he runs towards where he sees a plane, hoping it is Kerry and he hasn't missed her.

Wanting to run, but not draw attention to himself, he walks quickly out to the tarmac, where he sees a group of people, sure one of them is Kerry, walking quickly over to them.

Hearing footsteps, Kerry turns around her eyes wide in surprise "Lawson, what are you doing here?", smiling at her relief flooding through him, that he hadn't missed her "I'm coming with you?" shaking her head "No, you can't I won't let you"

Seeing David glare at him "Lawson, you've risked Kerry's life coming here, how do you know you weren't followed", then turning to the pilot and back to Kerry "We're leaving now" feeling his touch and hand on her arm "Kerry, you can't stop me, I'm coming with you, I want to be with you", looking up at David "you can't stop me, I'm doing this and nothing anyone says will change it, I want to be with you and if this is the only way, then I'm coming"

Seeing Kerry look up at David, "Just get in the plane, I'll organise your new ID, I just hope you know what your doing Lawson, this isn't just for a few weeks"

Nodding, he throws his keys at David, "to my car, and house" before following Kerry out to the plane.

…..

Walking out at the jetty at St Kilda, Stella feels Charlie's hand reach for hers, hearing her phone beep with a message, she opens it up, looking up at Charlie confused, handing her the message, from Lawson "I knew he was having a hard time, but would never of thought he would leave Melbourne and TR". Walking to the end of the jetty, Stella feels Charlie's arms around her pulling her close to him "I'm falling in love with you Stel, I want more than one night stands, I want to take you out to dinner, go out with you, spend time with you, I want to go out with you", looking into Charlie's eyes, "you mean like my boyfriend?", her face expressionless, he wonders if he has pushed her away, lost what they had, before seeing a smile spread out on her face, as she wraps her arms around his neck, pulling his lips down to hers, moving away a short time later "Does that answer your question", before looking into his eyes "what about TR and us?" shrugging "I'm not sure what they are going to do, they want to get it up and running but, not with Lawson and Kerry gone. We'll work something out"

…..

Watching the scenery below as the plane takes off, Kerry is partly grateful for having Lawson beside her, tears forming in her eyes, at the life she is giving away, the one that no longer exists, feeling his arms around her waist, and his lips kissing the top of her head. Glancing at James sitting near by before turning back to Lawson.

Looking at Kerry the sadness in her blue eyes "it was you at the church at Leon's funeral", nodding "I had to go, David didn't want me to, but I couldn't not go to it, I didn't think anyone would see me, or hoped so" leaning against him "How's Josh going", glad that she isn't looking at him, the guilt in his eyes, his words so final to him, their friendship now over, something he can't tell Kerry, something he is so ashamed off, something that should never have happened.

Turning and looking into Lawson's eyes, he sees him leaning down towards her his lips meeting hers, as he kisses her, she puts his hand on her stomach "I'm pregnant Lawson" seeing him raise his eyes in surprise "I'm 3 months pregnant and you're the father"

Looking at Kerry, the news a surprise, trying to hide his shock, and part anger that she was ready to leave without telling him, looking back into her blue eyes, waiting for an answer or reaction from him, smiling at her "I'm going to be a daddy?" nodding as she feels his lips upon hers briefly before pulling him towards him needing to know "Would you of ever told me, that you were pregnant?"

Looking at Lawson, seeing the surprise in his eyes, and shock but something else slight anger, trying to maintain his gaze she shrugs "I honestly don't know, I couldn't tell you today, it would of made things too complicated, and I had part of you with me always". Looking her in the eyes still, the blue eyes that pierce through him, that make him melt, what would he have done if he told her today.

Leaning against Lawson as they fly, feeling him stroking her head, the one thing he has realised is life it too short "I love you so much Kerry, will you marry me?".


	37. Chapter 37  The End  Back again

_**Thanks for the great reviews, throughout the story, was longer than planned, but here is the final chapter, still might write the other ending, which would be another two chapters, **_

_**The reviews help to continue on, so thanks**_

…

**EIGHTEEN MONTHS LATER**

Driving along the road, looking out the window, all so familiar, stopping down the road, the car pulls over, feeling a hand on hers, squeezing it back, looking at her partner, TR base has been rebuilt, wondering who is still there and in charge, the urge to go in strong, watching a TR car come down the road pulling into base, not able to get a look whose in the car, but the times up so they continue on.

Turning up to court the following day, Stella, Shannon, Josh and Christian look around, locking up their guns in the back of TR", walking towards the courthouse, hearing footsteps they turn around, Stella smiling as her boyfriend walks up to them.

Watching Charlie walk up to them, Josh looks at him, glad that he is out of TR, not that Tactical Response would ever be the same again, as much as he hates to admit it he misses Lawson, and not knowing where he is or hearing from him, he would of thought he would of contacted him again but nothing from him in 18 months, part of the reason in staying in TR is doing it for Lawson and Kerry, and being Senior Sergeant now helped also "Took your time coming here Charlie" Giving a short laugh at Josh "Missing me still Josh?", getting a glare from him in reply.

Christian looks at Charlie "enjoying the special taskforce?", nodding at Christian "Its interesting"

Looking at her boyfriend "Yeah, you left before me, and I still got here before you"

Looking at both of them, Shannon shakes her head "I still can't get over the fact that you two are going out, much less getting married" as Stella flashes the small engagement ring at her friend .

Giving a short laugh, Charlie looks at Shannon "what can I say, Stella just has good taste", seeing Josh's glare still upon him, "I'd say Stella has no taste"

Looking around the outside of the courthouse, Shannon turns to Charlie and Josh "Are you sure the outside is secure?", seeing them nod "there should be police monitored everywhere, take Stella and Christian and look around", seeing the others nod as Stella looks down the street "lets hope he doesn't do a Andrew Kronin and blow up the van he arrives in" watching Stella go to walk away Josh calls out "always the optimist Stel"

Seeing the lawyer arrive, silence falls over the group as they walk into the courthouse, the last case of the whole situation and the most important one. Walking out of the office a short time later after going through the brief one last time they file into the courthouse, sitting down, as they see Col Rainey walk in, a sigh of relief going through them so far.

Listening as they go through it all, they watch as the prosecution bring the first witness in, seeing James walk into the court room, Stella turns to the team "Did anyone know that James was testifying?", seeing them shake their head as Josh whispers "It is what Kerry wanted all along, just hope they know what they are doing?", looking back Christian whispers "I'd do it if I was James and Kerry was my mother, have to do something for the guy/family responsible for killing her"

**A FEW DAYS LATER**

Pulling up at the court a few days later, Josh, Stella, Shannon and Christian walk into the courtroom. Sitting down it wasn't long for the judge to walk in, with the verdict hearing the words "Guilty" and the sentence handed down, relief through the team.

Arriving back at base, the new building only been operation for a few months, it isn't long before they are all changed and having a couple of drinks. Looking up Stella sees Charlie walk in, pulling up a chair "Great result today, looks like the Rainey's will be behind bars for a long time", seeing Stella nod "Still won't bring Kerry back though, never thought I'd say it, but Tactical Response isn't the same without her and Lawson", looking up Stella, Shannon responds "I know I thought she was a bitch", seeing Stella smile at her "I do agree with you, she could be a hard arse, but she was a pretty good boss, better than the previous one, does anyone know anything about the new guy we're getting?", seeing them shake their head, including Josh "It mightn't be a guy, we all thought Kerry would be a guy and she wasn't", "Nah she was some hot older chick, I would of done her" all of them laughing at Stella's comment, as she looks up at her boyfriend shaking his head at her as Josh looks at Charlie "Just as well Kerry is gone, otherwise Charlie you'd have some competition", trying to look serious "Nah, I'm way better looking than Kerry" as Stella shakes her head.

Having several drinks, Stella looks up hearing footsteps entering the base, blinking her eyes, she hadn't had that much to drink had she, looking around, she looks back at the entrance, turning to Shannon "pinch me?", looking at her friend in confusion "what", not looking at anyone but still straight ahead "I think I'm seeing things, after today" turning around to see what Stella is staring at her face open in shock and surprise "OMG" as the rest of the team turn around all of their faces showing shock and surprise.

Walking into the base, Kerry looks around, knowing Lawson is behind her, feeling weird being back to where it all happened, what was her job, her team, where Leon died. Seeing Stella turn around looking at her, the surprise on her face, before seeing the whole team with surprise and shock on their face, not knowing what kind of reaction they were going to get since everyone thought she had been dead.

Walking towards the table, she gives a small smile at the team, seeing Josh walk over to her, putting his arms around her. "Just had to make sure you were real", hearing Stella squeal knowing she had seen Lawson walking in with the pram, before looking at Kerry again, and down at her stomach.

Seeing Stella get off her seat, and run over to him, throwing her arms around his shoulder "No wonder you've been MIA"

Looking around at the team, Lawson is surprised to see Charlie still there, his look falling upon Shannon, her blue eyes looking up at him, trying not to show much emotion, hoping after all this time, they might be able to talk, "Any room for two more?"

Sitting down on the chair, the silence and part awkwardness in the air, before Stella looks at Kerry's hand on the table showing a ring on her left hand "Engaged and a baby I presume to Lawson, all I can say is wow, is this the same Kerry who used to be in TR, ", giving a smile and short laugh at Stella's question "He got me at a weak moment", Stella looks at Kerry with a cheeky grin "look like several weak moments" laughing as she sees Kerry's glare again, seeing Christian looking into the pram "what's her name and how old is she?", glancing quickly at Lawson "Leoney, she is just over a year old"

Looking at Kerry and Lawson, the maths going through her head, Stella gasps in surprise "You were pregnant before it all happened, no wonder Lawson left" not letting Kerry reply "What happened, yeah I guess witness protection, but we all saw what happened here"

Feeling Lawson's hand reach for hers, not wanting to talk much about what had happened "After the explosion, they found the perfect opportunity to fake my death, until it was all over, it was not safe, for anyone with me around, I didn't even realise until it was all done"

Curiosity getting the better of her, trying to make an effort, Shannon briefly looks at Kerry "Where have you both been?" Rolling her eyes as Lawson laughs "a property in the middle of nowhere, and sailing around, they wanted to make sure she would never be found", glancing at Lawson a smile on her face as she remembers the past 18 months, despite not being in the police or working much it was enjoyable "Lawson was a stockman, got to ride horses and motor bikes all day, and he thought working at Tactical Response was hard work" reaching out to tenderly touch his cheek.

Looking at Josh, Lawson tries to gage his reaction, wondering if the 18 months apart had healed any of the hurt for what he had done, wondering if he would tell Kerry what happened, wanting a clean slate and not to hurt her, he had never told her, not wanting to hurt her now, he hopes she will never find out, he doesn't want to lose her every.

Looking around the base, Kerry has a far away look, it had been long, and despite it all she had missed it here, "what's been happening here, how long has the base been operational for"

Looking at Lawson and Kerry, the surprise of seeing either of them again, Josh is silent, he had wanted to see his best mate for so long, but angry that Lawson never got in contact with him, partly explained now, looking at Kerry "It opened only a few months ago, Audrey is here full time as Intel officer, still coming out on the odd occasion on the field, we have a office assistant to help Audrey, Stella is close to becoming a Sergeant just needs to finish some exams, Christian is Senior Constable, he is back in Tactical Response, you know Elliot who worked here a couple of years ago", seeing Kerry nod at Elliot Josh continues "I'm now a Senior Sergeant" seeing Kerry and Lawson smile at him before Kerry adds "Wow, impressive, one stage I didn't even think you'd last in Tactical Response" nodding at Kerry not saying anything, he remembered that too, when she first started, to what they were before she left TR "I think you wanted me out a few times, Shannon leads TR2", Lawson looking at Shannon "so you finally got your own car", smiling slightly at Lawson, Stella interrupts "and she is bossier than every", hitting Stella, on the arm "I am not, your just annoying on shifts, don't do what your meant to, texting Charlie or answering his texts, Stella is like 50 times worse than what she was, she's better now than when she and Charlie first started going out", hearing Stella "Oi, I am not, you just went through all your no sex crap again, and I was having sex, but now your getting some, she is bearable again", laughing as Shannon glares at her her voice warning "Stel", as she looks up at Lawson's face, was there something there with the bit when Stella said she was having sex, looking at them both, she doubts it, Kerry looking like she was pregnant again, and engaged, no maybe it was wishful thinking.

Continuing on "we have one new TR member, who has gone home, he is young a bit like Michael was when he first started, we're getting a new Tactical Response leader"

Looking at Charlie, Kerry wonders why he is still here, or if he had left "Your still here in Tactical Response"

Giving a short laugh at Kerry, and smiling he shakes his head "I left about a year ago, heading up another taskforce" seeing Kerry looking at him confused, no doubt wondering why he is still there, he sees Stella trying to retain her smile before looking at Kerry as she asks "why are you here then, you miss TR that much?"

Reaching for Charlie's hand under the table, Stella sees none of the team answering her, before looking at Kerry "he's here because we're engaged", smiling at the surprise on Kerry's face and Lawson's before Lawson replies "Congratulations, I think"

Looking at the pram, before glancing at Lawson, they get out off the seat "Sorry guys, it was wonderful seeing you all again, look after yourselves, downside of being parents" needing to get out of there, the emotion coming back, the thought of Tactical Response without her, it all back and operational again.

Seeing Josh and Christian get off the chair, walking over to her, hugging her, looking out at what was her team, her responsibility the ones she made, feeling Lawson's hand on her back, grateful.

Looking around she sees Stella eyes upon her "You back for good, or do you have to leave again?", looking at Lawson before replying "We are no longer in witness protection, since the trial is over, and Col Rainey has been convicted and found guilty, we can live our lives as normal again, well as normal as you can with kids and get married amongst friends and family"

Seeing Stella looking at them before a huge grin across her face her voice higher than normal "Kids, I knew it, your pregnant aren't you,"

Seeing Lawson look at her as she rolls her eyes as he nods "Kerry is about 4 ½ months pregnant"

Christian looks at Kerry "Your turning into Annie, she loves having kids too", glaring at Christian "A fact Christian, I don't love having kids, neither of these were planned, kids are a good day bad day thing"

Facing Kerry as they walk out "I need to speak to Josh and Shannon first", nodding as Lawson walks back towards the table and Josh, tapping him on the shoulder, no words necessary, walking away from them Lawson looks at what used to be his best mate "Now I know why you didn't get in contact, what you did Lawson, is hard to get over", nodding at Josh, he knows he has a lot to work with "I know, I wish it had never happened, that none of this had happened, there were times, I wish I could just go and have a beer with you"

Looking at Lawson, the happiness on his face "I missed that too, but things will never be the way they were, that trust was broken and there is nothing that can be said or done that will fix that, it will be always there, that you screwed my girlfriend, I know you thought I was dead, but mates just don't do that?", nodding at his mate, at least he didn't say to fuck off, "I know, and if I could change it I would." before Josh continues "have you told Kerry?", shaking his head "I was going to, but didn't, we were starting a new life together, I couldn't do it to her, not since I was the only person she had other than James, there were so many times over the 18 months I wanted too, but it is something I will have to live with, a huge mistake I will pay for a long time in losing my best mate", seeing Josh in silence at first "I'm not going to tell her, I don't see what good it will do telling her now", smiling at Josh "The new leader of Tactical Response is me", seeing him look at him in surprise "you" nodding, "they didn't say anything in case today worked out differently, but I'm coming back to Tactical Response, I wanted you to be the second to know, hope your ok with that", smiling at his mate, despite everything it is great to see him again "Think I can manage that, you have to be better than the other dickheads we're had here, only just"

Walking back towards the team, Lawson looks at Josh and them "I'll see you all bright and early in 2 days time", seeing the confusion on some of their faces, Shannon looks at him "You're the new Tactical Response leader", nodding at them "I'm back in Tactical Response, as leader"

Walking out towards Kerry, Lawson turns around as he hears his name called turning around "Shan", "welcome back Lawson", smiling at his ex "thank you". Seeing Shannon look at them, the hatred gone from her eyes and face "I'm over the hurt and anger Lawson, I've moved on, can't dwell on the past, what you two did, hurt me a lot and was wrong and while I mightn't ever forget what you've done, I have to move on. I loved you so much Lawson and I think if you had cheated with anyone else other than Kerry it might have been different but to find out its my boss, it was hard, and then to have it lead to us breaking us and you moving on with her, Lawson that hurt a lot and felt betrayed and to know it happened a few times", seeing Lawson's eyes open in surprise "I am sorry too Shan, I loved you too a lot, and never meant for any of it to happen, but it did and if I could of changed the way it all happened I would of", seeing her smile at him "I can see how happy you are Lawson and a father too", wrapping his arms around Shannon "Thanks Shan, that means a lot to me, just hope your happy", pulling away from Lawson she nods as she feels Josh walk up and wrap his arms around her, his eyes looking into Lawson's, before looking back at Shannon, "so you and Josh" as they both nod.

Looking at Kerry, on the phone, her face turning a ghost white, he quickly turns and walks over to her, her voice high and loud "No, you've got it wrong, he's safe now, he testified he is meant to be kept safe, your meant to keep him safe"

Seeing Kerry hang up the phone, her mouth open in shock, Lawson hurries over to her, putting his arms around her, feeling her legs collapsing, wondering what is wrong, the part he heard to do with James.

Sitting down on the chair Kerry looks up at Lawson her eyes filled with tears "that was David" trying to control her crying "I have to go", feeling Lawson's hand on her arm "Your in no state to go anywhere", then seeing her look into his eyes "James…" her voices coming out between sobs "they say James is dead, they've found his body,…..from a drug overdose"

Pulling Kerry towards him, wrapping his arms around her as her body is wracked with sobs, before feeling her pull away "I have to go, there made a mistake"

Seeing Shannon and Josh next to him her voice soft "I'll look after Leoney" nodding gratefully, he follows Kerry out to the car.

Arriving in the city a few minutes later, Kerry gets out of the car, seeing the blue police lights and the tape around, she walks through it, seeing a blanket over a body, she is glued to the spot, feeling Lawson's arms around hers "want me to kneel down and take off the blanket" nodding before shaking her head, does she want to see his body to know it is his, isn't it better not to know, looking at Lawson she nods, watching as he kneels down, folding back the blanket, the brown hair, before his face, closing his eyes, he quickly pulls the blanket back up before hurrying back to Kerry, wrapping his arms around her, as she cries.

Feeling Lawson's arms around her, pulling her towards him, she is numb, after everything they had been through, the months in witness protection, they should of known that the Rainey's would of gone after them, they should of looked after him better, she should of made sure of it, she promised him he would be fine once they were in jail, it was a broken promise, she didn't even have a chance to say goodbye to him, to do anything.

Feeling Lawson help her walk away from the crime scene, back to the hotel, each step automatically going in front of the other, she was a shit mum, one who couldn't even look after and save her son.

**A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER**

Watching Kerry sit on the couch her legs pulled up underneath her, staring into space, Lawson is worried, they had done an autopsy, and even though they suspected the Raineys, it had come back as drug overdose, given his history, there was no proof that it was anything else. Her response to being told it was a drug over dose, he had seen her angry before, but nothing like she was then or hearing the Raineys could not be charged for lack of proof, dragging her away from them before she got herself charged, telling them how incompetent they are, idiots/morons, didn't go down well,

Even with Tactical Reponse working on it, wondering how long before Kerry will do something, anything, get out of the grief she is living in the blame, the drinking of alcohol even with her unborn child, even with Leoney, knowing the one thing she wants to do is revenge and Lawson scared that one day she will do something to get it, and soon.

The End for the time being

**P.s Kerry and Lawson do get married, as much as I wanted to write about a wedding, it would have to be another chapter, it was a quite small intimate wedding, **

**Charlie and Stella do get married too**

**Josh and Shannon continue to go out as a couple. **


End file.
